“I’m coming,” I called. I tucked the books away together on a shelf and opened the library door.
A warrior stood outside, a different one than who escorted me. Interesting. “The Alpha is looking for you,” he stated.
“Oh, of course, I lost track of time.” I smiled sheepishly, brushing off my skirts.
The warrior seemed nervous, looking around and fidgeting even though he stood straight. He took me a backward way that led to the kitchens. I assumed he was under orders to have me not seen.
Alpha Raymond stood outside the main doors; he looked surprised to see me.
“Alpha,” I said, bowing my head.
“Where have you been?” he demanded, glancing at the warrior.
“The library.” I looked at him, confused. “I lost track of time. Is there somewhere I was supposed to be?” I grabbed the fabric of my dress. “I thought I was supposed to be making myself scare,” I repeated his words back to him.
“Oh, yes, you are. I just wanted to ensure you were accounted for,” he said. “And okay,” he added as if he were speaking foreign words.
I swallowed and blinked a few times. “Is it not okay for me to be alone? The guard was outside the entire time.” I motioned to the warrior that was the Alpha’s idea.
“You should be fine,” he grumbled. “Just stay out of the way, there are too many people here, and your safety is important,” he said in a way that didn’t even pass as believable.
“Of course, Alpha. Would I not be a target if I was the only one not in a crowd?” I added fear to my voice.
“You wouldn’t be a target.” He shook his head as if I asked the most ridiculous question. So then, why the extra protection, Alpha? I asked internally.
“So, would I be able to watch some of the trials? I’ve been hearing about them for years and..” I toed the edge of the fraying carpet.
“We will see,” he said and turned on his heel. “Bring her to her room and then find your station,” he called over his shoulder to my guard.
Once I was safely back in my room, Alice came up to check on me. My stomach rumbled so loud I clutched at it. I would have to eat something, and I couldn’t stay here all night; I was already pacing.
I didn’t know what I was looking for, I didn’t have a plan, but I had to do something. I was exhausted, but physically, my body was buzzing. We had so little time, and any information could help formulate something stronger.
I didn’t change, just pulled on a robe and listened at the door. There were no sounds of footsteps or breathing. I guess they trusted they scared me enough or didn’t care enough that I was killed to leave a warrior at my door. But I knew more than that; they trusted me to stay put.
I snuck to the kitchen for some food and gossip when I heard one set of heavy footsteps. I slipped into an alcove and evened my breath. Sam, Alpha Sam walked past. I wasn’t sure why he was near the kitchens or alone, but it didn’t matter. I followed him quietly and made a show of opening and closing a door, so he turned.
Sam rushed to me, his eyes wide. “Thank the Goddess, Simone,” relief clouded his voice. “I thought something; I don’t know what I thought.” he shook his head.
“I’m okay,” I replied, meeting his eyes and grasping his forearms.
“I was looking for you; you weren’t at dinner tonight.” He lowered his voice. “I wrote to you.”
I leaned back. “You did? Here?” I asked. I hoped he didn’t repeat his sentiments of wanting me to come to his pack in writing.
He nodded. “A few times.”
“What did you say?” I scanned his face, fear gripping me.
He squeezed my shoulders gently. “I sent you a note saying it was nice to see you, and then another one asking you for dinner, and a third inviting you and, uh, them, to a future event. I just wanted to hear from you.”
“I don’t get letters here.” I averted his gaze. Not that anyone wrote, not that anyone knew I was alive until now.
“Oh.” His lips formed a thin line.
For once, I wasn’t sure how to act. Did I drop the mask like I did with Ezra? Play an in-between version? I was in unfamiliar territory, and although he was a childhood friend, he was an Alpha in a territory where Alpha Raymond was an alliance. I didn’t know how far his affection for me as a lost friend lended. I wrapped my arms around myself, slipping back into something familiar, something harmless and docile.
“Simone.” His voice dropped. “Even if your pack was slaughtered, then what?”
“If?” I asked without thinking. “I-” I blinked. “It’s my father's name, my family's name. It is all that they have left in this world. They might have not died with dignity, but my line has been around far too long to die off, and believed that my father was at fault for it. I just want the truth out. It is all I can do for them.” I sighed. Suddenly, that felt like a very heavy ask. How to convince people of something they might not ever care about?
How could I, a ghost of a long line, change a story told by an Alpha?
“I understand,” he said, his face hard. “I would do the same thing.”
“I don’t know how,” I admitted, “I didn’t know until I saw you what story was being told of my pack's slaughter.”
“Is, there…. Is there any proof?” he asked.
My shoulders fell, and it wasn’t intentional; I knew my parent's fur was here, but what did that prove besides how barbaric this pack was? “Go back to Blood Moon’s lands; as far as I know, it was left vacant. But I don’t know much. I’m unsure of what you’ll find… if anything, but see for yourself,” I said. I didn’t have to pretend to feel completely deflated.
“You haven’t been back?” he asked. I looked into his face, and something like pity lay there, but there was a hardness I would attribute to anger.
“The first time I left the area around the packhouse was last week,” I admitted.
His mouth opened and closed. I don’t think he understood just how little freedom I had. The freedom that I slowly, painstakingly carved for myself.
“Just give me that; just go back and see for yourself.” My eyes searched his, and he sighed and nodded.
“Tomorrow,” he promised, and he let me go. “I’ll go first thing, and tell you what I find.”
I shook my head. “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to speak to you alone again, but I’ll try.” I didn’t want to tell him to contact Ezra; I couldn’t give up that he was helping me.
“I’ll find a way,” he said. “I’m sorry,” he added, his voice almost broke. “I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay. Thanks for checking on me,” I replied; it was sincere, and the fact that he did that sent unfamiliar tears pricking my eyes.
I wiped them, and when he left, with a backward glance, I slipped into the kitchen. No one noticed me. I had never seen the kitchen busier. I grabbed some bread, buttered it, and sat on my stool in the corner. They were so busy they weren’t talking about anything but preparations and the tasks they were mutually working on. I knew there was a welcome dinner tonight and a weekend of eating and drinking before they watched the Alpha’s sons compete to the potential death like barbarians.
I couldn’t fault the visiting Alpha’s curiosities. I would, too, be interested in an event like this. One that might happen two or three times a century.
I didn’t find anything useful, but at least I got something to eat, and I did wonder if I could use the Omegas possibly to send a note to Sam if he couldn’t reach me.