I wanted to talk to Ezra and send a note to Sam, but Alice intercepted me on the steps, insisting that I get ready for the funeral. I hadn’t really seen her outside my room before, and that shocked me. She wasn’t ever in the kitchen, but I knew there were other tasks. I hadn’t thought of that before that before, and I should have been.
Where was she when she wasn’t with me?
“The funeral?” I asked Alice as she brushed my hair. Again. She dropped my hair and met my eye. I didn’t look away. Not now.
“Yes?” she asked. “What about it? Are you okay to go?” She eyed me as if death might tear me at the seams.
“What do you know about it?” I asked. I couldn’t be caught blindsighted.
She looked over her shoulder as if anyone else could possibly be in the room. Well, Ezra could. That thought filled me with a jolt of joy even though I knew he wasn’t. I didn’t sense him.
“Two of them,” she whispered, her eyes wide, and I made mine match hers.
“Why didn’t they say?” I asked, a hand over my chest. The demeanor I was faking now was grating, but I needed the information.
She shook her head. “No one knows. But the next Alpha, it will be Nolan.”
My eyes widened, and I looked at her as if she weren’t serious. “Nolan?” I asked. “That is surprising,” I mused.
Alice nodded and looked around again before adding, “But it’s welcomed. We all feel so much relief.”
I noted that already. The air around the Omega’s was celebratory, relieved. Alice today was even more relaxed and happy than I had ever seen her.
I smiled. “Good.”
I could call it my legacy. Leaving behind something. Well, changing the course of the future to impact others for generations to come. At least if Nolan became Alpha, the next generation of Omegas might not live in fear. I smiled at that thought.
I never thought about what would have happened to the pack after I slaughtered their leaders and family. Maybe it was growth, maybe it was clarity, or just my past blind incompetence, but I just now thought of that.
Who would take over? The Beta I had seen once, maybe twice? Would the pack dismantle?
I guess I never really cared before. But my vengeance had recently evolved, or maybe I gained a bit of clarity now that my years of planning were coming to fruition. I was so focused on their deaths nothing else mattered.
But did anything else matter to me now? Would it matter after?
I thought of the implications of leaving only Nolan. My vengeance wasn’t just selfish anymore. Well, It was. I mean, it was entirely for me, but what I told Hunter moments before his death rang true, and that truth would ring through future generations.
He would no longer be able to harm anyone, and his rule as Alpha wouldn’t, and his kids after him who learned from him couldn’t.
A side effect I didn’t really calculate into his death, but it was beneficial all the same. And I felt good knowing that I changed the future for so many people, countless people, generations possibly, for the better.
I left something here that wasn’t just a stream of blood.
I did something for what some might consider the greater good, even if I didn’t intend to.
I would consider it the greater good - Aksala purred.
Alice somehow tugged at my completely brushed hair, bringing me back. Thankfully, I mastered an impassive distant look when I was thinking years previously.
She dropped the brush, said her goodbyes, and told me someone would come to escort me. Even her goodbye was peppier and chattier than normal. I nodded, and she left me with a bounce in her step that made me feel even lighter.
I immediately thought back to my motives. I knew ridding the world of these cruel people would be a service, but I hated to admit I didn’t really think of their impact on others. I thought of it as my own personal vengeance. I don’t know if I clung to it to make me feel better, but either way, it did.
Leaving behind something instead of just taking.
We can go with that mantra. We are serving the greater good - Aksala said.
I will serve no more - I growled back.
But you are serving your people - she rationalized.
I could accept that.
Protecting and serving those who needed it could be one and the same.
A knock came at my door, and I rose to answer it with what I hoped was a cool grace. A warrior stood there. I walked next to him as he led me, but I stood tall.
When I passed any Omega and noted their lightness, it thrummed through me.
Something gold. Something lasting.
A purpose, perhaps.
I was taken to the Alpha’s old office, and I had to remember to hang my head.
The door opened, and The Alpha, Luna, and Nolan stood there looking at me. I quickly scanned for potential escape routes, flicking through ideas if this were a trap.
“Simone,” Alpha Raymond noted without any emotion and went back to his family. Nolan kept his gaze on me for one, and Luna Addison didn’t bother a glance. Her eyes were red-rimmed, but her hair and makeup perfect.
“A-are you okay?” I asked. I was truly unable to look away from Nolan’s assessing gaze. This felt wrong now. Felt more like acting and less like a second skin.
“We have a new Alpha,” Alpha Raymond stated, his voice monotone. “It will be a celebration.”
Luna Addison glared at him but then turned her disgusted look on me. “This will be the man you are to be with.” Her smile was wide and wicked, and I knew she was projecting her own emotions and twisting them in a way to make others feel slightly as bad as she did.
I hoped I never became that, but if I lived long enough, I knew I might.
You won’t - Aksala half hissed, half growled, and it soothed me temporarily, even if she was making exceptions for her other half.
I bowed my head and stayed like that until they were called out. I trailed behind the Alpha and Luna next to Nolan.
I wanted to say I was sorry for his loss because I was. I did not regret their deaths for a moment, but I was sorry for the impact it had on Nolan. But even the words in my mind felt cruel, even if that wasn’t their intention.
I slowed my steps, and Nolan did, too, until there was a bit of space between us and his parents.
“Why am I here?” I asked when we were out of average hearing range.
“They know people saw you at the last event,” he explained, looking ahead. I was surprised he answered, let alone with an honest one. “There has been talk about your absence now that got back to them, my parents. I think this is them showing in a safe way that you are accounted for and part of this family.” I snorted. “They just want you to make an appearance and leave. I think.” He shrugged.
“A funeral is a great place for people not to pry,” I murmured. Nolan nodded, looking ahead.
I had that same strange feeling that I wanted to comfort him. I was unsure if it was because he seemed harder more angry than he used to, and I didn’t want to be the one that inadvertently caused that in him.
The other part of me might have felt some guilt because he didn’t seem all that terribly bad, at least compared to his horrid brothers. I guess anyone could look like a saint if they were less sadistic than them.
But still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wanted to reach out to him say something to lessen the burden.
It was a feeling that slid through me, grating against my very being. I didn’t understand it, and it annoyed me as much as the unwelcome feeling lingered. I had to force myself not to turn my frown into something that might look like sadness.
I wanted to say something else, but we neared the new part of the packhouse; I had only been here a handful of times. The large glass room that they used as an event space was transformed. I didn’t notice the decorations. Instead, I focused on the guests who were present and tried to put faces to the names I had memorized.
Even though this was taking time from my own plans and away from Ezra, this would be a good opportunity for everyone to see me. Instead of Sam’s whispers about a ghost that showed up at a party, I was presenting myself again.
It might be to my advantage, and I hoped I could slip away between what I hoped would be a bit of activity surrounding The Alpha and Luna.
That proved to be more difficult than I could imagine.
Two black coffins lay open, surrounded by white flowers. We moved past them and stood behind them on some sort of stage. I couldn’t tell if it was part of the steps or constructed for this.
This whole place, the whole ritual, seemed at odds. It seemed so modern, so human.
I was now used to a packhouse that felt like a drafty castle and fights to the death over the line of succession.
Seeing the shiny coffins on cream carpets next to a glass wall just felt. I felt like I was shot to another dimension that I was entirely unfamiliar with.
I didn’t have to fake the disgust I felt, and I passed it off as sadness. Or tried to.
The Alpha said some things. The Luna cried loudly. And I stood tall.
I made eye contact with the Alphas. Some averted their stares; others looked for a moment before looking back at the scene. A few nodded. A very few.
Sam being one of them, but his look was met with relief, as well. I had just spoken with him, and the fact he was worried for me was sweet but also disconcerting. I knew he still didn’t believe I could look out for myself, that I had a shot at the challenge, but at least he would back me. Of that, I was sure.
Before I knew it, it was over.
It was over?
I was ushered behind The Alpha and Luna. Nolan glanced at me once, and I scrambled to try to keep my head high but also looked slightly sad. I didn’t think I pulled it off.
Once we were out of there, Alpha Raymond looked at Nolan, possibly with fear. “I’ll see you at the feast tonight. I’m taking your mother to rest.”
I felt more comfortable now in the drafty stone building with words like a feast and the woman who needed rest. Still, as a family, they didn’t look too concerned.
Alpha Raymond paused and glared at me. I looked down. “You can wear the old Alpha of Blood Moon, her father’s fur, for the Alpha ceremony. It would only be fitting.” He laughed loudly, and to my surprise, The Luna joined in. Nolan stiffened beside me. “Show those bastards what we do to our enemies, those beneath us,” he added and walked away.
I clenched my fist and replayed his son’s deaths at my hands. It calmed me down a bit.
“Are you okay?” Nolan asked me.
I turned to him with a wicked smile I forgot to erase. His eyes widened.
“Are you?” I asked.