“It’s your birthday,” Alpha Raymond drawled with a smile that made my stomach flip.
“Yes,” I said, looking down, wondering not for the first time how he knew that, but it was probably in some public record for ranked members. I wondered what those records showed of my pack now.
“Do you sense your wolf yet?” Dominick asked, eying me hungrily.
“No.” I shook my head, clutching my fork.
Why was breakfast taking so long to get to the table today? I needed anything to distract me, to distract them.
“You’ll get it soon enough,” Luna Natalie said, sounding bored.
I was excited to get my wolf, for someone to talk to, even if they were part of me. But my nervousness ate any of my lingering excitement when I awoke today. My nerves weren’t something that even doing my morning stretches twice helped calm.
Since the night I killed the visiting Alpha’s son, I never bothered learning his name; I realized how out of shape I was. So I spent some time before breakfast, daily stretching and training as best as I could with my limited resources.
I knew tonight they would want me to shift in front of them. To prove that I had my wolf, but I knew that it was to get a glimpse of my usually overly covered body bare.
“The trials are starting soon,” Alpha Raymond said, and I was glad of the topic change until he added, “It will be nice for my sons to get a glimpse of what their other prize might be.” His eyes met mine. They were cold and fiery and flared with something unsettling and new. I had to look away.
“Not really a prize,” Dominick said, and I hated him for it
“Her virginity will be fun to take though, ah, the things I’ll teach you. You’ll be able to pleasure me just how I like in no time,” Hunter added.
Dominick just snorted, Nolan didn’t say anything at all.
I leashed the anger at his words, bottled the helplessness, and saved it for later. They would pay, slowly and deliberately, they would pay for this all. That was the only thing that kept me from lashing out right now.
The food thankfully came, and I took small bites despite my protesting stomach. I felt Dominik, Hunters, and occasionally even Alpha Raymond’s piercing heavy stare on me, but I didn’t dare look.
-
I spent the day wandering. I allowed myself a few hours just to exist, not to plot, plan, or strengthen myself. I would give myself a few hours just to be.
-
My wolf still hadn’t appeared by the time the sky started to darken around the edges. I trudged back, but I heard sounds from the training ring. I hadn’t noticed I wandered that far through the forest. I surprised myself by actually letting myself just exist for that long.
I knew they saw me, so I walked up, stopping by the edges. Dominick and Hunter exchanged a smirk, but Nolan didn’t seem to notice. He was so engrossed by following a move The Hunter, my Hunter, was showing him. Both of them were gleaming with sweat, and The Hunter smiled, actually smiled, and grabbed Nolan on the shoulder.
That was new.
He said something, and Nolan nodded, running a hand through his sandy blonde hair, and The Hunter walked past him. He came up near where I was standing and took off his belt, laying it over the fence and giving me a knowing look which I chose to ignore.
I didn’t ignore his lightly scarred, tanned hands that lifted his long-sleeved shirt over his body. As frustrating and elusive as he was, I could appreciate the rippling contours of his toned body. His undershirt tugged up, and he frowned, pulling it down quickly, but not before I could make out a scar that looked like a misplaced burn in a circle.
Whatever it was, it was intentional, and he wanted to hide it. At least I had that bit of leverage on him, whatever it meant. But a part of me didn’t want to.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” Hunter drawled, and Dominick walked next to him, crossing his arms.
“I was on my way back. I got distracted picking wildflowers.” I placed a dreamy farawy look on my face, and I swore I saw the side of The Hunter’s face curl up in something that looked like a whisper of a smile.
“Get nice and clean for us,” Dominick called, and I turned my back, not able to fake the disgust rolling through me that did little to make my fear.
I had no power over the nightmare brothers and their Father, and I hadn’t felt so completely helpless since I was let out of my prison that I now knew as my bedroom.
I bounded back to my room, hoping I could take a shower and calm down before Alice intruded with her loudly, quiet presence.
That night Alice nervously waltzed into the room, holding a large paper box. I didn’t say anything as I sat by the mirror, waiting for her to open it. I had an uneasy feeling; I never received gifts, and whatever it was couldn’t be good.
“From the Alpha,” Alice said, dipping her head low in something that resembled an awkward bow.
“You can open it,” I mumbled, tugging at the ends of my hair.
“O-okay.” She pulled off the ribbon as I studied myself in the mirror, glancing at her reflection. The top of the box came off and inside sat a bunch of light blue fabric. Alice pulled it out and smiled at me, holding up a long dress. The fabric was overlaid in gossamer and embroidered patterns that were seared in my brain. I fought the nausea that rolled through me.
“It’s lovely,” Alice noted, not noticing me.
“Yes,” I got out through gritted teeth. I reached for the brush for something to do, something to hold.
“The Alpha wants your hair down tonight,” she said and turned her back on me to lay the dress somewhere.
The dress that was almost an exact replica of the one I had been wearing on the night of my pack’s death, without the blood, of course. My nausea fought my anger, and eventually, I was able to reign them both in enough to offer Alice a smile when she slipped the cool fabric over my head.
I didn’t dare look down, didn’t dare look at my reflection in the mirror or I knew every emotion I carefully tucked away would come undone.
I would come undone.
“Thank you, Alice,” I dismissed her, and she thankfully left, closing the door behind her.
I ran to my bed, pushed my head into my pillow, and let out a long, choked scream.
It’s a lovely color on you at least - A smooth, rich, lilting voice reverberated through my mind. It let out a gruff laugh that immediately calmed me - Hello, I’m Aksala, your wolf.