A million emotions flooded through me. Fear as I haven’t felt it in years, confusion, shock, my mouth hung open, and I quickly closed it. I didn’t know the right response. Was he accusing me? He was, but how did he know? I didn’t know how best to react, so I settled into what I knew.
“What are you doing here?” My voice came out shaky, and I didn’t have to fake it. “You’re not supposed to be here.” I pulled the blanket tighter around me.
He didn’t say anything for a too long moment; the silence was a weight in the room. The only sound was my heartbeat in my ears and his heavy breathing. I knew that he did that for my benefit; for the show, he could be as silent as he wanted.
“You should leave if you’re found here..”
“I won’t be. No one is coming to check on you. Alice is fast asleep.”
“How did you-”
“It’s my job.” his voice was harsh, and it made my stomach churn. I felt like a child getting scolded. I was thankful he couldn’t see the heat rush to my cheeks, but part of me thought that he might be able to see through the darkness as if it were daylight.
“You’re not very good at it.” I tried.
“No?” He turned his head to me, and the flames danced off his face. His harsh yet beautiful features were bathed in warmth even though his face held nothing but coldness.
“You broke into a room that wasn’t even locked to accuse me of Goddess knows what. I would say you found the wrong room.”
“I knew it was yours. I’ve been here before, remember?” he quirked a brow, but I knew he was anything but amused.
“What do you want from me?” I curled in on myself.
“You know.”
I shook my head violently. “Just tell me and leave. I’ll.. I’ll be in trouble if you’re found here.” I hung my head.
I heard him land on the ground, softer than I thought to be possible. I watched his black boots walk up, bathed in the warm glow of the cracking fire, the only sound in the room. He dropped a sprig of dried Juniper on the bed. I internally winced.
“A gardener,” he said.
“I like making bouquets. The Luna likes them,” I mumbled. “Is there something wrong with that?” I looked up into his eyes, tilting my head.
“You don’t know what that is?” He pointed to the plant that I poisoned him with.
I shrugged. “It’s pretty.” His eyes turned to slits, and he stood up tall, heading towards the door. “Where are you going?” I asked. Fear laced my voice.
If he told the Alpha, what would happen? I didn’t have an escape plan. I didn’t have anything packed, any money, or any direction of where I could go. I knew no pack around here would take me in; they would send me back or hold me as ransom. Either way, I would end up back here.
“To bed.” He paused, glancing back at me.
“I don’t believe you,” I whispered.
“You don’t have to. I don’t believe you either.”
I waited for long moments after he closed the door, holding my breath, but he didn’t return. I hastily packed a few belongings in a too-small bag. There wasn’t any luggage in this room; there wouldn’t need to be. I shoved it back in the closet and tugged on some pants under my dressing gown, tying my hair up in a tight braid.
I knew I couldn’t run. More than that, I knew that I wouldn’t. I would play this game with the updated rules. I played a game for far too long to back out.
I slept fitfully and dressed early, waiting until the swell of feet passed my door to leave.
Cold sweat clung to me, and I was grateful for the heavy thick fabric of these idiotic dresses. I forced myself forward, walking to the dining hall. I paused outside the doors, I knew I was earlier than I usually was, but I had to at least feel like I was doing something like The Hunter didn’t become the master of my fate with those few words.
I pushed open the thick wooden doors. Were they always that creaky? I felt like all eyes rushed to me even though it was only a few omegas setting up and doing last-minute checks. Everyone went back to their work; they relaxed when they saw it was only me. Not a threat to anyone.
That might change once The Hunter told Alpha Raymond what he suspected. I doubt he would believe him; he found it hard to believe anything that he didn’t want to. But it might severely limit my opportunities. I suppressed a shudder thinking of that time of isolation in my room; I couldn’t go back to that. I wouldn’t.
I took my seat and waited for the others, gratefully accepting a cup of tea for anything else to focus on besides scanning the same room over and over and trying to quiet my thundering heart.
Finally, Luna Addison emerged through the open doors, and I jumped. If she noticed, she didn’t say anything. Alpha Raymond came and demanded food which Luna Addison let go of for once, not waiting for the nightmare brothers.
Nolan, Hunter, and Dominik showed up when we were halfway through our meal. They looked exhausted, but their eyes were bright. I recognized that look from my memories. It was that satisfied feeling you got after a particularly challenging training session. Their exhaustion and soreness would work in my favor; I just hoped they weren’t improving too much. I would have to monitor their progress, that is, if today wouldn’t be my last of freedom.
No one spoke to me; they barely spoke to each other. When Alpha Raymond stood up and left, something in me loosened. I didn’t understand, though. Did The Hunter not tell the Alpha? Or was the Alpha waiting for more evidence?
I made my way to the library, just for something to do. My room felt too small today. Every part of me protested; I wanted to follow The Alpha to see what he knew, but I couldn’t risk getting caught today.
The library was a large room, hardly used. Filled with stacks of books I knew no one bothered reading. It would have been a comforting room if it was anywhere else, but it always unsettled me. It reminded me too much of home - specifically my Dad’s office. His space was cluttered and filled with treasures, where everything had a tale. I smiled despite myself remembering before a ripple of pain shot through me.
I wondered if there would ever be a time when the memories weren’t accompanied by pain and rage. I pushed the anger away, saving it for later. I avoided the library unless I wanted to research something. There didn’t seem to be a system. I stopped by a faded tapestry that I used to brush past. Even with its dulled colors, I knew what the red represented. Blood. Something I saw too much of, even before I spilled it with my own hands.
The tapestry depicted a battle, wolves against cats. I thought I heard something where Black River was stolen from the werecats, and Blood Moon’s territories used to border the werecats until Black Moon stole land from them and claimed it as their own. With that kind of history, it wasn’t surprising that their descendants turned out to be as odious and entitled as they were. Ancient history, either way, and no way of telling what was actually true without being colored by hate and bias.
I meandered to the middle of the space, where the tall shelves gave way to a stone fireplace and old chairs that might have been comfortable once. I grabbed a book, not caring what it was, and lit the fire. Absentimnedly flipping through the pages for something to quiet my mind while I processed and planned.
I sensed him before I saw him. There was a quiet shift in the air. I didn’t expect him to seek me out today, but it was welcomed. Anything was better than being in the dark.
“You didn’t tell them?” I said, not looking up from my book.