Xander's POV
I pushed the door open and stepped outside. It was a cold and dark night, but I didn't mind. I liked the night. It was peaceful and quiet, and it suited my mood. I started to jog, hoping to clear my head and calm my heart. I ran for a long time, passing by buildings, cars, and people. I ignored them all, focusing on my breathing and my footsteps. I ran until I reached a park, a large green space with trees, benches, and a lake. I slowed down and walked to the edge of the lake. I sat down on a bench and looked at the water. I saw my reflection, and I frowned. I looked like a monster, a beast, a freak. I wondered if Methis would still love me if she saw me like this. If she knew what I really was.
I shook my head and tried to banish the negative thoughts. She would love me, I told myself. She would accept me, she would understand me, she would stay with me. She was my mate, and I was hers. We belonged together, we were meant to be. Nothing could change that, nothing could break that. I loved her, and she will soon learn to love me. That was all that mattered.
I smiled and reached for my phone. I wanted to hear her voice, to tell her how I felt, to reassure her that I was okay. I unlocked my phone and dialed her number. I waited for her to answer, but she didn't. I frowned and checked the time. It was 1:30 a.m. Maybe she had fallen asleep, I thought. Maybe she was tired and needed some rest.
Okay, this shit was starting to get ridiculous. I had to get all of this out of my system, for my own sanity. I decided to leave her a message, to let her know that I was thinking of her, that I was coming back to her.
I pressed the button to record my voice, and I spoke.
Hey, love. It's me, Xander. I'm sorry I missed your call. I was running and I didn't hear my phone. I'm at the park, by the lake. I just wanted to say that I love you, more than anything. You're my everything, Methis. You're my life, my light, my happiness. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I don't ever want to lose you. I'm coming back to you, love. I'll be there soon. I can't wait to see you, to hold you, to kiss you. I need you, love. I need you so much. I love you, Methis. I love you. Good night, love. Sweet dreams. I'll see you soon.
I put down the phone and stared at it for a while, my finger hovering over the send button, unsure of what to do. My mind raced, Was I being too straightforward?
After all the drama if the past few days, this seemed exactly like something I wouldn't want to do. Too drastic and reeking of desperation.
"I wouldn't send that if I were you." A voice said calmly behind me. I turned around to see a middle aged man, his face and the mop of greying hair on his head suggested he was in his late forties maybe in early fifties.
"Uhm," I said, raising an eyebrow, unsure of what to say while being slightly embarrassed. Had he heard all that?
"I am sorry I couldn't help but hear all of that kid," he said, taking out his glasses and wiping it with the hem of his coat before squinting and putting them back on. "But you were a bit loud, you see."
"Did you hear all that?" I asked, slowly sliding the phone into my pocket.
He shrugged, "I heard enough, having girl troubles are ya?"
An inner debate raged in my mind. Under normal circumstances, telling a random stranger my troubles seemed to be the most stupid, knuckle headed decision I was going to make in a while but given my track record over the last few days, it didn't seem so bad anymore. Besides he was a stranger, I will probably never see him again.
I had nothing to lose.
"Yeah." I said, "Girl troubles, yes."
He smiled knowingly, making me annoyed. He was treating me like I was some teenager with a crush, and the fact that in a way, that was exactly what I felt made it even more annoying.
"I really like her." I said finally, letting out a deep breath.
"So?"
"Well, I can't just forget about her." I scoffed, running my hand through my hair, "It's not that easy."
"I understand that it's not easy, but sometimes it's necessary for our own growth and happiness. Let me share some wisdom with you, young man."
I rolled my eyes, " Please, go ahead."
He cleared his throat, "Life is full of ups and downs, and sometimes we become fixated on one aspect, like a crush, and forget about everything else. It's important to maintain a balance and not let one thing consume us entirely."
Well, duh, I thought. "I see what you mean, but it's hard to let go."
He stood up, "It may be hard, but it's not impossible. Think about all the other things you enjoy doing, the hobbies, the friends, the dreams you have. Don't let your crush become the sole focus of your life."
Without another word, and a self-satisfied smile, he walked away and I as stared at his receding figure, bewildered by the ridiculousness I just witnessed, I couldn't help but break into laughter.
For the first time in a while, I was laughing.