Xander's POV
I stumbled down the street, feeling every bruise and cut on my body. I had fought Jamal, the guy who had been harassing my sister for months. I had tried to protect her, but I had failed. He had beaten me up, and worse, he had hurt her too. I felt a surge of anger and guilt, mixed with pain and fear. I needed a drink, something to numb the ache in my soul. I saw a bar nearby and decided to enter. Maybe I could forget, for a moment, what had happened.
I walked into the dimly lit place, ignoring the stares of the other patrons. I made my way to the counter and ordered a whiskey. I downed it in one gulp, feeling the burn in my throat. I ordered another one, and another one, until I lost count. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see a girl smiling at me. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, and she wore a tight dress that showed off her curves. She looked like a model, or a hooker, or both.
“Hey, handsome,” she said, batting her eyelashes. “What’s your name?”
I didn’t answer. I didn’t care. I just wanted to be left alone.
“Come on, don’t be shy,” she said, moving closer to me. “You look like you need some company. I can make you feel good, if you know what I mean.”
She leaned in and tried to kiss me, but I pushed her away. I didn’t want her, I didn’t want anyone. I just wanted my sister, I wanted to make things right.
“Get off me,” I said, my voice hoarse. “Leave me alone.”
She looked offended and angry. She slapped me across the face, leaving a red mark on my cheek.
“You’re such a jerk,” she said, spitting at me. “You don’t know what you’re missing. You’re a loser, just like the people around you, fuck off.”
She said the wrong thing. She triggered something in me, something dark and violent. I grabbed her by the hair and pulled her close to me. I looked into her eyes and saw fear and hatred. I felt nothing but rage.
“Don’t you ever talk to me like that,” I said, my voice low and menacing. “You don’t know anything about me. You don’t know how it feels."
I threw her to the ground and walked out of the bar. I didn’t care about the consequences, I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted to go home, to see my sister, to apologize, to hug her, to love her.
I got to our apartment and opened the door. I saw her walk in, holding a tray of food. She had a limp, but she pretended it was nothing. She walked past me without a glance, her face expressionless. She didn’t look at me, she didn’t speak to me, she didn’t care about me. She put the tray on the coffee table and turned away, her eyes cold and distant.
“Hey, sis,” I said, trying to sound casual. “How was your day?”
She didn’t answer. She just walked to the window and stared outside.
“Come on, talk to me,” I pleaded. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I couldn’t stop him. I’m sorry I let you down.”
She still didn’t say anything. She just kept looking away, as if I wasn’t there.
"Sophia,"
“Please, sis, don’t shut me out,” I said, reaching out my hand, hoping to touch her, to make her feel something, anything. But she shrugged me off, as if I was nothing. I didn't try to push it, there was no point.
“Don’t touch me,” she said, her voice cold and bitter. “Don’t act like you care. You don’t know anything. You don’t know how it feels."
She hated me, and I hated myself. I wanted to say I was sorry, I wanted to say I loved her, I wanted to say anything. But I couldn’t.
It made me angry too, mostly at myself for doing exactly that, bringing her into my mess. But also at Jamal, for all the damage he had caused by coming into our lives. I knew Sophia loved me, that she was also worried about me, for my injuries, for my reputation, for my well-being. But she does not show it. She shuts me out, as she has learned to do, to protect herself from pain.
I understood that perfectly, I would do the same if I were her, especially given what she had already gone through.
I try to talk to her, but she ignored me.
"Sophia?" I call out watching as she retreated back into her room, but she does not respond.
I followed her into the room, not wanting to give up, "Sophia, hey, can we talk?"
"What? Xander?" She asked, turning to face me, her eyes blazing, "I don't want to talk to you right now."
"Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about what happened. I never meant for you to get hurt."
She sighed, rolling her eyes, "You never mean for anything to happen, Xander. You're always causing trouble."
"I know, I know" I said, rubbing my forehead, "And I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"This was the last straw, Xander."
"I know I've messed up," I pushed, "But I'll do whatever it takes to fix things between us.
"I need some time alone, Xander. I can't deal with this right now."
"Sophia, please..."
"I just need to be by myself. Goodbye, Xander."
"But...Sophia..."
"Please, just give me some space." She said softly, even though I could still detect the anger just underneath her. "I really don't want to talk to you right now."
I sighed, deciding to give up, "Okay, I understand. I'll be here when you're ready to talk."
I reached for the tray, trying eat and quickly discovering I had no appetite. Sighing, I pushed the food away, completely disgusted in myself.