Josh's Pov
"We're in this together."
"You can't rat me out." Her voice reverberated in my head. Jerking upright, I sat on the side of the bed with nothing but a duvet covering my nakedness.
Once again, I had let my lust and love for Jenny cloud my sense of judgement and I betrayed the only person that I swore my life to.
"Fuck!" I cursed. Shaking my head fervently wasn't helping the issue as different thoughts were going through my head, but nothing seemed to be working fine as none of my thoughts were going to help Lenora get back to Alaric.
I have sold myself to the pleasure of my flesh and have no say in this matter as long as it concerns Jenny. She is a cunning, manipulative girl and knows how to get her way with things. I knew that if I decided to expose her secrets to the prince, then he would kill me first before laying hands on her because I was the one who betrayed his trust, but I would be damned if I was to be killed by the prince's hands.
"I tried my best," I murmur under my breath. I have tried my best to move on from Jenny and her mind games, but I just couldn't. Despite knowing who she truly is, but if my flesh is too weak to move on from her, then I might have to get rid of it.
Standing up from the bed, I unwrapped my body from the white duvet that covered my nakedness as I picked up the clothes that were scattered on the floor, but I was unable to wear them as they had cum on them. I don't know how that managed to happen, but I could remember us going for different rounds all around the room.
I walked over to the laundry basket in the corner of my room and tossed the clothes in it, knowing that the maid would take care of them.
With my legs carrying me and my mind far off, I managed to reach the wardrobe and select any pair of clothes that I could wear without checking twice.
*Knock knock*
A knock was heard on my door, followed by the sound of my name, but I could instantly tell who it was by the voice. It belonged to the prince, but why was he here? He barely came to knock on my door personally and would have sent his servants to call for me, but today, he was personally calling for me.
Like a lightning bolt, I quickly wore the clothes that I had picked as I sprayed some perfume to mask the smell that was once present in this room, even though I knew it wasn't enough to stop him from smelling Jenny since he had his full powers but I tried it anyway.
"Your highness," I said with a bow, as I opened the door to my room.
I couldn't bring myself to look at his as I didn't know why he would have decided to come to my room personally. Could Jenny have told him something about me?
"Josh!" he called, his voice pale.
Beads of sweat ran through my forehead as I couldn't stop thinking of what was going to happen to me if it happens that he found out about what had been happening in his absence and why was his voice cold and pale?
I could feel the heat in my body rising as it felt like I had started to choke on air and couldn't breathe normally. I'm fighting the urge to adjust my neck tie while struggling to compose myself.
"Yes, your highness. What brings you here? " I answered, realising that I had not answered him and that he was waiting for my answers.
"Nothing much," he answered, lifting his arms as a gesture for me to let him into my room as I adjusted my position.
"Are you okay? You seem tense."
"I am fine, my lord," I answered, as he replied with a hum. The words he spoke made me realise that he might have had no idea of what was happening and that perhaps Jenny hadn't told him about us.
I was relieved when the sweat beads suddenly disappeared as my tense muscles relaxed. I can finally lift my head to look at his face. I promise to tell him the truth about everything, but first I need to find Lenora before saying anything, at least finding her will make me feel less guilty in hell.
"Perhaps you need rest; you've been working too hard for me while I was unable to control myself." He said with a smile tucked between his lips.
"That is my duty, my lord," I replied.
"I know, but I want you to rest. This is an order from me to you. " He ordered, and I replied with a bow, even though I knew that I would not be able to rest until I found Lenora.
"But first, I need you to find a trusted person to take note of the ins and outs that happen in this pack and track each location."
"I am asking this of you because you're the only one I can trust and you're my best friend. He added, my heart sank to a depth I have never explored as I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Is this how it feels to betray the one person that trusts you and has always treated you with love and respect?
I couldn't bear the ache in my chest anymore as it felt like I was going to collapse and die of a heart attack any moment from now. Perhaps if the prince had not said this, I would have continued with my initial plan, but on hearing him say those words, I don't think I'm worthy of inhaling air into my lungs of betrayal.
"Fuck, I almost forgot." He chuckled. I hadn't seen him in this kind of mood in ages. Ever since his mate disappeared, the joy in him had also left.
Before we both came to this pack, he was widely and popularly known as the ruthless one, and those claims were just an understatement of how he truly was. He was vicious and no one dared to look at his face, but after we came to this pack house, he became soft.
The moment he realised that Lenora was his mate, his countenance fell. At first, he was sad because she was a young, weak wolf and wouldn't match up to him, but when he got to know her better, he realised he was the one who needed to work on himself as she was truly the only one who could bring him peace.
I enjoyed watching him try his best to impress her. He would spare the lives of hundreds because of how she would feel. He was the best version of himself with her, and we became closer because of her.
I regret ever sleeping with Jenny in the first place rather than dealing with her. I am the cause of what is happening in the pack house. I hope Lenora also forgives me.
"What is that, my lord?" I asked.
"After you rest properly, please send some royal armies to protect Edessa. I owe them one, "he said.
"Yes, my lord."
"Or do you think I should lead the army? It has been ages since I visited a place like that. "
"It'll be nice for you to visit them, your highness," I replied, my mind completely far from what he was talking about. With a smile on his face, he patted my shoulder twice before walking out of my room.
I escorted him back to his room through the hallways before returning to my room and closing the door behind him. He had left, leaving me alone with the dangers of my thoughts and the burning feeling of betrayal.
"Will he hate me if I end it?" I asked myself as I leaned against the door, unsure of what to do because I didn't think I deserved to see his face any longer. It'd be best if I ended everything myself rather than have him kill me.
He might definitely be upset if I end it, but his anger will definitely turn to loathing once he knows about the atrocities that I have committed.
Strolling to my desk, I brought out a blank piece of paper and a pen, as I intended to leave him a message of sincere apology and also to let him know that Jenny was behind everything. I tried to write something, but my hands wouldn't stop quivering. The moment the pen was able to connect with the paper, I knew it was over.
*"Your highness,
I have failed you dearly in ways you can never imagine,
I have betrayed the trust you had in me,
You called me your best friend, but I was your enemy in disguise.
I promised to serve you, but I succumbed to your foe,
I can no longer bear to live with the fact that I betrayed you,
I am sorry for breaking your trust in me.
I had let my fleshly desires cloud my judgement, and I ended up making it my weakness,
I allowed my feelings for Jennifer to cloud my perception of reality,
I followed her cunning ways, but I can no longer live with that.
She is behind everything that has been happening in the pack,
She had poisoned Lenora,
She is responsible for her disappearance.
Of course, I am not a saint because I was aware of her actions but remained silent,
I deserve to be killed, but my soul will never be settled if I die by your hands,
For this reason, I say goodbye."*
Drops of salty tears streamed down my cheeks as I remembered the happy moments I had had with the prince. If only I hadn't caved in.
"Fuck!" I cursed as the tears rushed, stopping and soaking my beard. This is it. This is my end and I am ready to die so as to stop this constant ache in me. The thoughts of my betrayal to the prince hurt more than killing thousands of innocent and guilty wolves, young and old.
I was grateful for the opportunity he gave to me, and at least I no longer have to worry about succumbing to my fleshly desires for Jenny when I die.
Due to me being a Lycan and a beta, it'll be really hard for me to die, as random things that can kill mere wolves can't kill me easily. Poisons are like a juice box to me, knives are like a scratch, and claws are like a mosquito bite. The only option that I could think of was to hang myself.
Hanging myself seemed like the best option; dying slowly and painfully till I could see the burning flames of hell, till I could feel the constant pounding in my head, till I could hear the constant ringing in my ear while the thick rope stops my blood from going to my head and puts an end to my suffering.
Instantly, I grabbed some rope from my closet and tied it to my ceiling with no choice of turning back. My mind was made up and the only thing missing was my head in the rope as I sighed and took my last step towards it.