S A OSPITAL ay mabilis na inilagay sa stretcher si Chantal. Subalit nanatiling mahigpit nitong hawak ang kamay ni James. Fear in her eyes.
“Don’t leave me... please!”
“It’s okay, darling,” James whispered tenderly. His eyes were both worried and comforting.
“Your wife’s in hysterics, Mr. Navarro...” wika ng doktor. “I have to sedate her...”
Chantal cried her protest subalit agad na nasa tabi nito ang isang nurse at hinawakan ito sa braso. Ang heringgilyang inihanda ng doktor ay bumaba at tumusok sa braso nito. He could feel her grips on his arm.
He bent and whispered, “I won’t leave you, I promise.”
Humina nang humina ang mga hikbi nito hanggang sa tuluyan nitong ipikit ang mga mata.
JAMES watched her as she turned restlessly and tried to open her eyes. Niyuko niya ang asawa at hinaplos ng likod ng palad ang pisngi.
“James...” Ang unang namutawi sa mga labi nito.
“It’s okay, sweetheart...” he said softly. Bent and kissed her lips.
“James...” usal nitong muli. “Why can’t I... open my eyes?”
“Huwag mong piliting gumising...” patuloy niyang bulong dito. “Hindi pa lumilipas ang itinurok sa iyo.”
“Tell me... what... happened, James. Have I... lost... my...” Hindi na nito nakuhang tapusin ang sinasabi at muling tinangay ng pagtulog.
Malalim ang buntong-hiningang pinakawalan niya habang pinagmamasdan ang asawa. Then a little smile played his mouth. He raised a thumb finger and touched her lower lip gently.
Nilingon niya ang nurse na pumasok. “Available na ba si Dr. Carreon, nurse?”
“Tinitingnan pa ho ang result ng scan, sir. But he’ll be here in a minute.”
NAGISING si Chantal sa tunog ng engine motor. She squinted and looked about her feeling fuzzy and disoriented. Bright sunshine was streaming in through the porthole. At saka lang niya naalalang nasa yate siya. Ilang sandali ang pinalipas niya bago marahang bumangon.
Sumilip siya sa porthole ng cabin subalit wala siyang matanaw kundi ang asul na karagatan.
Narinig niya ang pagpatay sa makina ng motor. Natitiyak niyang hindi ang makina ng yate iyon. Hindi iyon ang tunog ng twin-power engines ng yate. It was a smaller one. Lantsa marahil. Dinampot niya ang wristwatch niyang nasa mesa sa may gilid ng bunk bed—8:30.
She stripped off her oversized T-shirt and her panties and walked nude into the bathroom. Pinagmasdan ang sarili mula sa malaking salamin. Ang kamay niya’y bumaba sa flat niyang tiyan. She didn’t have a miscarriage at maraming beses na siyang umusal ng pasasalamat sa panalangin.
Natakot at naghisterya siya nang walang dahilan. Ni hindi nga siya nagkaroon kahit na bakas ng dugo.
Tensiyon at takot ang ibinigay na dahilan ng doktor sa biglang pananakit ng puson niya. Bukod pa sa sinabi nitong normal sa isang nagdadalang-tao ang paminsan-minsang makadama ng stomach cramps. Na hindi siya dapat mag-alala na baka siya makunan, she was young and healthy.
She realized now that it was her guilt that made her panic and fell into hysterics. Hindi siya nag-ingat at nagagalit siya kay James nang marahas siyang humakbang patungo sa shower cubicle. At kung nagkataong hindi nahagip ng kamay niya ang shower curtain at ang toilet bowl rim ay baka napasama ang bagsak niya at posible siyang nakunan.
She was four weeks pregnant, ayon sa timetable ng doktor. Calm down... darling , it isn’t a baby yet... Iyon ang sinabi ni James nang naghihisterya siya. The thought confused her. There was life in her womb, and for her it didn’t matter whether it was a four-week blood or a four-month fetus.
Hindi ba’t si James ang masidhi ang pagnanais na magkaanak na siia kaagad? Pero bakit ipinahihiwatig ng tinig at salita nitong walang anuman dito kung sakaling makunan man siya dahil hindi pa naman talaga bata ang nasa sinapupunan niya?
Had he finally changed his mind overnight at hindi na gustong magkaanak sa kanya? Na ang anak na inaasam nito’y maaari nitong makamit sa babaeng talagang mahal nito?
Pain sliced through her like a two-edged blade. Subalit agad niya iyong pinalis at humugot ng paghinga. If she wanted to survive this ordeal, she had to be strong. Para sa magiging anak niya.
Binuksan niya ang gripo and took a quick hot shower. Pagkatapos ay bumalik sa loob ng cabin at naghanap ng maisusuot mula sa bagahe nila. Isang puting cotton pedal pusher at dilaw na cotton blouse ang isinuot niya. Slipped on her sandals and left the cabin. Wala siyang natanaw kahit isa sa tatlong crew ng yate... o si James.
Pumanhik siya sa upper deck. Agad ang paghaplos ng pang-umagang hanging-dagat sa mukha niya. Greedily, she filled her lungs with air. Mula sa barandilya’y natanaw niya ang pulo ng Sto. Cristo.
White sandy beaches reached out to embrace the aqua water. Nagtatayugan ang mga puno ng niyog na nakahilera sa baybayin as if they grew in wondrous confusion. The land rose gently from the beach, at sa pinakamataas na bahagi ng Alta Tierra ay nahahagip niya ng tanaw ang villa sa tuwing hinahapay ng hangin ang sanga ng mga punong nakapaligid dito.
She stayed in the hospital for one day for observation. Then James took a month’s leave from his office at niyaya siyang maglayag sila. At sa nakalipas na tatlong araw, James had been thoughtful and caring. Kung tratuhin siya nito’y para siyang babasaging kristal. Sa gabi’y nakakatulugan na niya ang pag-aantabay ng pagpasok nito sa cabin. And she didn’t know how to react everytime he was near.
She wanted him so much. But she couldn’t afford to think that another woman was waiting for him to return, matapos ang obligasyon nito sa kanya bilang asawa.
Iyon ang ikatlong araw nila sa dagat. It was her decision to anchor at the Sto. Cristo waters. Gusto niyang dumaan sa Alta Tierra. Maybe stayed there for a couple of days. Gusto niyang makita si Alvaro. Ibalita ritong magkakaapo na ito.
The thought brought tears in her eyes. Luhang agad din niyang pinalis nang marinig ang tinig sa likuran niya.
“How are you, Chantal? Nabalitaan ko kay Adora noong isang araw ang nangyari sa iyo...”
“Renz...” Isang ngiti ang sinikap niyang pakawalan. “Ikaw ba ang sakay ng—lantsa ba ang narinig ko?”
“Yes.” Humakbang ito palapit sa kanya. “Nang mabanggit ni Uncle Nick na uuwi siya ng Sto. Cristo’y sumama ako. Gusto kong kausapin ang Tito Alvaro. But I saw the yacht from the beach and decided to come and visit you...”
“Thank you. Have you seen James?”
He shrugged. “Maliban sa first mate, walang tao nang sumampa ako. Baka nasa wheelroom. Sa kabilang bahagi ako dumating.” His hand went up and caressed her hair with his fingers. “You’re lovely... hindi ba nakikita ni James iyon?” bulong nito.
“Please, don’t, Renz...” marahang sabi niya, but didn’t try to move away from him. “Nagkausap na kami ng p apa. Sinabi niya sa akin kung bakit... kung bakit sadya mo akong...”
Umangat ang mga kilay ni Renz, then burst out laughing. “The old cow! At hindi man lang ako tinawagan...”
“Siguro’y iniisip niyang magkikita tayo. Isa pa’y nagbalik na siya ng Alta Tierra...”
“Natutuwa ako para sa kanya,” wika nito. “At hindi ba effective ang plano ng Tito Alvaro? Why, you’re pregnant,” he teased gently.
She couldn’t afford even a little smile. At hindi niya alam kung anong mayroon ang presensiya ni Renz at bumulalas siya ng iyak dito. She must be really that vulnerable and wanted to pour her miseries to someone.
“There... there...” ani Renz. Inabot siya at kinabig sa dibdib nito. Lalong lumakas ang hikbi niya.
“Hush, love.” Banayad nitong hinaplos ang buhok niya. “Gusto kong tumanggi nang unang imungkahi ni Tito Alvaro ang gusto niyang mangyari, Chantal. But it was fun teasing James. Just like the old days. Except that he was so different after Sylvia. But I swear he cares for you...”
Sa pagkabanggit sa pangalan ng babae’y tumigas ang mukha niya. “You’re wrong.”
“But you’re pregnant.” He was puzzled by the sharpness of her voice. Hinawakan siya sa magkabilang balikat at tinitigan. “Meaning—”
“It meant nothing. Sex doesn’t make marriage. It makes babies...” Again, she sobbed na tila bata.
Muling tumawa si Renz sa sinabi niya at masuyo siyang hinagkan sa ibabaw ng ulo na tila siya nakababatang kapatid.
“Damn you, Renz! I could kill you!”
At bago pa makakilos ang dalawa’y mabangis na nahila ni James si Renz mula sa pagkakahawak kay Chantal at inundayan ng suntok. Dahil nabigla’y napasadsad sa railings ng yate si Renz. Sapo nito ang dumudugong ilong.
Napatili si Chantal at mabilis na nilapitan si Renz. She was horrified to see the blood oozing from his nose.
“Damn Alvaro!” Renz hissed.
Humakbang palapit si James, his face in savage fury. At nang akmang yuyukuin nito si Renz ay humarang si Chantal.
“Stop it, you beast!” sigaw niya. “Kung gusto mo’y saktan mo na rin ako!”
James was frozen. And Chantal swore it was pain she saw in his eyes. Pain along with anger. Naggalawan ang mga muscles sa mukha nito. Nakita niya ang mahigpit na pagkakakuyom ng mga kamay nito, in controlled fury. And then as if it never crossed his eyes, pain and anger gone. Ang humalili’y isang anyong kasinlamig ng yelo.
“James—” s i Renz, trying to explain.
Subalit nilingon ito ni Chantal, nakikiusap ang mga mata. Renz sighed. Tumango at tumayo. Sandaling nilingon si James na nanatiling nakatayo at tinitigan si Chantal. Pagkatapos ay tuloy-tuloy na itong bumaba ng deck.
For a long tensed moment ay nanatiling walang usapang namagitan sa dalawa. Chantal tried to break the silence.
“I–I...”
“Did you have to hurt me?” wika ni James sa tinig na tila hindi nito pag-aari.
Shocked by his tone, Chantal raised her eyes to him and again saw the raw pain that it tore her heart in two. She fought the urge to come near him and comfort him. Sa halip, inilagay niya ang dalawang kamay sa mukha at bumulalas ng iyak.
“I–it’s the... last thing I’d think of doing...” she said sobbing.
“Do you... love him?” The cold voice was back. At nang muli itong tingnan ni Chantal, the mask was down again. At umahon ang galit sa dibdib niya.
Ungracefully, she walked towards him. Sa kuyom na mga kamay ay pinagsusuntok niya ito sa dibdib. Crying at the same time. James didn’t dare to stop her, welcoming the physical pain.
“Love him? Love him?” she cried hysterically. “Damn you! How dare you insult me and think that I’d care for another man when I am married to you! I didn’t even love Quinn, I realized that now! It’s you that I love and it’s you who’s hurting me!”
Sukat sa huling sinabi niya’y marahas na tumaas ang mga kamay ni James and get hold of her wrists. She struggled hysterically to release herself mula sa pagkakahawak nito. Subalit ni hindi niya matinag ang mga daliri nito sa pagkakahawak sa palapulsuhan niya.
Then James pulled her against him not so gently... held her tightly that she could hardly breathe.
“Tell me again you love me, sweetheart... tell me, please...” he begged.
Chantal stilled. Stopped sobbing and struggling. Raised confused and teary eyes to him. The eyes that met hers was the same eyes that gazed at her while she was at the emergency room. Bago siya tuluyang mawalan ng malay, she could almost swear he whispered something like “I love you.”
But she was too distraught to believe that. Dahil iyon ang gusto niyang marinig mula rito kaya naisip niyang iyon ang ibinulong nito.
Now that same look held hers now.
“Sa ospital, you said something in your unconscious state,” wika nito. “Twice, you said ‘I love you.’ Gusto kong paniwalaang para sa akin ang sinasabi mong iyon. Dahil sa buong linggong nasa yate tayo, I could swear you love me. Nakikita ko iyon sa mga mata mo... sa mga kilos mo... and the way you responded to my lovemakings...”
“I... do love you, James,” she whispered, confused at the sudden turn of events. Pero nagawa na niyang sabihin ang nasa damdamin niya, she’d take the circumstances bitterly.
“But you turned into a cold stone right after you told me you were pregnant, Chantal,” wika nito. “Pero hindi ko binigyang-pansin iyon. Karl said women were sensitive and vulnerable when pregnant... na sundin ko anuman ang gusto mo. But that was the happiest moment of my life and I wanted us to celebrate that was why I booked us a room at the hotel... wanting to have another honeymoon... make sure na kamukha ko ang binubuo natin…” He smiled a little at that.
“S-Sylvia...” She didn’t even know she uttered the name.
The handsome face looked puzzled for a moment na para bang Latin ang binigkas niyang pangalan. “Oh, yes. The bitch ruined our dinner...”
“Kasama mo siya sa hotel room mo sa Cebu... Siya ang sumagot sa phone nang tumawag ako upang ibalitang nagdadalang-tao ako...”
Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata ni James. Stared at her for a long moment, then released a long breath as understanding dawned on him. Then he smiled that gorgeous smile she loved so much. Tuluyang naglaho ang insekyuridad at tensiyon sa mukha nito, and it made him looked younger.
“Lord, you were jealous! Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin? Ipinaliwanag ko sana. I could have saved us from so much misunderstandings and heartache.”
“H-hindi ka nakikipagbalikan sa kanya?” Nasa tinig pa rin niya ang agam-agam at insekyuridad.
“Never,” he said with conviction. “Hindi lang kaming dalawa ang nasa silid ko nang tumawag ka, Chantal. Her father was with us. Kasama ang papa niya sa seminar na iyon. At ipinahiwatig ng papa niya na gusto nitong bumili ng share of stock sa disteleria and so we discussed a few details in my room. Sylvia went with her father. And yet it didn’t mean she hadn’t tried to win me back... in fact she did more than just trying.”
Tinitigan siya nito, raised her chin with his finger. “Kahit hindi ka pa dumating sa buhay ko, my sweet little jealous wife, hindi ako makikipagbalikan kay Sylvia. She’s history. At ipinagpapasalamat ko nang labis na tumalikod siya sa usapan namin. I’d been so foolish, young and naive, para isiping gusto ko siyang maging ina ng mga anak ko.”
“Sa hotel... sa ladies’ room, she said something like she was divorced at na iiwan mo ako...” Now she felt like an idiot. Bagaman nag-uumpisa nang umapaw ang kaligayahan sa dibdib niya.
“A scorned woman. And you’re so silly to believe her.” He smiled again. Then his face became thoughtful. “I’ll never leave you, Chantal, not until my dying day. And I hope I’ll go first because I couldn’t live without you.”
She smiled through misty eyes. Now her husband was romantic again.
“Oh, g od, Chantal, how can you smile at my confession like that. I love you so much!” he said passionately. Then claimed her lips in a savage and punishing kiss. Pagkuwa’y mabilis din siyang pinakawalan.
“Oh, I wanted to make love to you the day I went back from Cebu. Pero nararamdaman kong gusto mo akong ipagtabuyan... still I attributed it to your pregnancy. And it hurt me so much nang itaboy mo akong palabas ng banyo when I so wanted to share every pain, every difficulties you may experience in carrying my son...”
“Oh, James...”
“At sa nakalipas na tatlong araw, you made me realize how much control I possessed for not taking you... for not coming near you and kiss you. Sa tuwing tititigan kita’y nasa mga mata mo lagi ang rejection and it was breaking my heart, Chantal. Don’t do it again, sweetheart...”
Idinikit niya ang mukha sa dibdib nito at mahigpit itong niyakap. “I’m so sorry, James. I never meant it to happen... pinagselosan ko si Sylvia...”
“Forget her!”
She smiled happily at tumingala rito. “Ang p apa... alam niyang hindi si Quinn ang ama ng dinadala ko... alam niyang hindi talaga ako nagdadalang-tao nang pilitin ka niyang pakasalan mo—”
James covered her mouth with his finger. “Hindi niya ako pinilit,” he corrected her. “I think I loved you already when I first laid eyes on you. At sa kaibuturan ng puso ko’y pinagseselosan ko si Quinn dahil doon. At nang papangakuin ako ni Quinn na pakasalan ka’y hindi ako nagdalawang-isip. And when my father suggested strongly that I marry you because you’re pregnant, hindi ko inisip na tumanggi. He made things easier for my pride...”
“I had never been pregnant, he knew it...”
“Yes,” nakatawang sagot nito. “He told me so. Magkasama kaming umuwi sa Alta Tierra, `di ba? And my father was so proud of you. He said that you’re a south sea pearl, the best kind. And that he couldn’t think of any reason why I should be lucky to have found you and married you. Well, we both thank Quinn for that and him, too.”
Kumunot ang noo niya. “Then you should know that Renz was only—”
“Renz?” Nagsalubong ang mga kilay nito. “What has Renz got to do with this? Hindi pa ako tapos sa pinsan kong iyon...” Nagbabanta ang tinig nito at dumilim ang anyo.
Chantal laughed gaily. “So Renz was right. Damn Alvaro...”
“What are you talking about?”
She stopped laughing and smiled lovingly at her husband. Then tiptoed and kissed his sensual mouth. “Your father played c upid, that’s all. And he succeeded anyway. And I promised to give him dozens of grandchildren.” Hinila niya ito sa kamay patungo sa hagdan ng deck. “Now, James Navarro, kailangang mabuo ang binhing pumipintig sa sinapupunan ko... let’s go back to the cabin. Marami kang dapat pagbayaran.”
But James pulled her back that she crashed against his wide chest. His eyes brilliant with passion and desire. “You bet, my dear wife...” He started unbuttoning her blouse. “At ibibigay ko pati interes.”
“J-James... ang mga crew? They might—”
“I sent them ashore bago ako pumanhik dito. Because I really planned of seducing you again. And then I saw Uncle Nick’s motorboat. Akala ko’y siya ang narito.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh. I’ll make love to you, darling. Here... and now. Under the sun.” He claimed her mouth in a hungry kiss and her blouse fell gracefully on the floor.
WAKAS