Estrella
Dried blood itches under my fingernails. A few sticks scratch the back of my neck where they're caught in my hair from sleeping under the moon. I cling to Anwen's hand as he leads us through a series of underground tunnels back into the castle.
I've never been in a fight like that before. Never looked in the eyes of someone trying to take my life. I haven't stopped shaking yet.
"King Andri had one of his courtiers spread the rumor that we left to carry out some secret Sundrop tradition," he says.
Mother nods. "We will demur if asked."
A vision of her tearing the would-be assassin's throat out flashes through my mind.
I take a deep breath. In the forest, with the Goddess's voice whispering in my ear, I understood. There is no justice in death. Only peace of mind, if you can forget the smell of the blood you've spilled. But I will not judge Mother for doing what she needed to do.
Anwen pushes open a door I can barely see through the gloom, and we step into a hallway.
"Thank the Goddess," Raven says. "That took longer than you said."
Kieran puts a hand on her shoulder, a silent reminder of the story we all must tell. Raven nods and schools her expression.
"Congratulations on your wedding," Kieran says stiffly. "Everyone but the happy couple, if you step into the room behind me, you'll find baths and your own fresh clothes. Clean up quickly."
They file away, and I wish I could go with them.
"Is it done?" Anwen asks quietly.
Kieran nods. "But King Andri wants to meet with both of us to go over the final state of things."
Anwen grimaces. "Now?"
His brother laughs. "A couple more hours, and then you have the rest of your lives together. You'll survive."
"Am I not to come?" I ask.
Raven wrinkles her nose. "Sorry, you have to go get ready. Delegates from all the other kingdoms are waiting already."
Exhaustion ripples through me. I want to collapse in bed and let whatever protections exist do their work until I am rested enough to make a good impression once again.
Anwen takes my other hand and catches my eye. "You were beautiful out there."
My stomach churns. "You were impressive." He tore through the battlefield like a storm, always with an eye to who was in the most danger. With him by my side, I may never need to fight for my life again. The thought warms me.
"But I can't wait to see you in the dress." He grins then kisses me softly. "Go. I'll be the one next to the holy woman."
His excitement is palpable. The air between us sparks with it as he lines up our tattoos. And I have to force myself to smile.
***
"Oakspring Dunes has our own wedding tradition," a pretty brunette produces a small comb of what looks like carved blue stone. "For cloudless skies in your future."
I smile and accept the gift. Just like I have every other so far. Expensive trinkets pile between pots of cosmetics and hairpins. Seemingly every kingdom has a tradition they simply must include me in. I'm only happy their excitement to open alliance negotiations with Sundrop Gem has blinded them to the bags under my eyes I haven't yet had a moment to cover.
The brunette flounces off into the swarm of court ladies flitting around me like colorful butterflies.
Tess tugs a few strands into place, and I feel the tremble in her fingertips. She is acting far more like herself since the bath, but our bloody wake-up call has left its marks on her as well. Part of me is grateful. At least with her around, I know I am not insane.
Candace steps up next to us with a redhead I also don't recognize. I've simply given up on that this morning. Either the women will introduce themselves, or I will talk around my ignorance. I'm a blushing bride, after all. Some distraction must be forgiven.
"Good morning." Candace's smile is taut. "I'd like to introduce you both to Lady Eva of Snowcrest Canyon. She's really made a splash here already."
Her words seem strange. I peer at her face, see a little of my own exhaustion within, then look at the redhead again. Sharply pointed nose, high forehead, taller than most-the name clicks into place, as well as the other detail. Lady Eva is promised to Prince Hollis in some Snowcrest tradition I don't understand, and Candace would only be making such a point to introduce us if this was the woman King Andri had had spread the rumor.
Tess does not move. Lady Eva curtsies. I incline my head.
"It's wonderful to meet you," I say. "I have heard only the best about you."
Some tension in her releases as she realizes I know. "Thank you, Luna Estrella. It's my honor to help you. Get ready, that is."
Candace's smile softens too. "When all this is done, we have to talk. You're going to love Eva."
Lady Eva blushes prettily. "When there is a moment. I am perfectly happy to wait."
Candace nods enthusiastically as they step away. It seems, in our absence, she's become fast friends with Lady Eva. That's a promising sign. Despite our fears, it seems most of Snowcrest can be relied on.
More delegates murmur soft compliments and congratulations. More gifts collect in teetering dunes. My body aches.
Bright claps her hands loudly. The whole room turns to her.
"Time for the dress," she declares.
Tess slips a last pin into place then leans over my shoulder. "I love you, and you are beautiful. I just-"
I lean my head against hers. "I know. Me too."
Bright claps again, insistent, and I force myself to stand. Was it really only a couple of months ago that Tess and I sat on the other side of this castle, giggling to each other as we readied for our first real party? I always imagined we would laugh like that on my wedding day. But today, neither of us have the energy.
Mother, Raven, and a small army of seamstresses wait for me in the smaller, second room designed for changing clothes. The dress hangs on a hook at the back. I step inside and close the door behind me.
All the seamstresses pounce. One holds my hair aside. Another waits with the veil. A third removes my robe. Bright stands in front of me the whole time, arms crossed and lips pursed critically.
"Aren't Mother and Raven supposed to be here to help?" I ask from the center of the storm.
Bright sighs. "Yes. Dowager Suniva, could you fold her skirt? And Luna Raven, if you could handle the veil?"
A small smile tugs at my lips. Mother at my back, representing my past, and my future in Raven at the front, was agreed upon almost two weeks ago. It's almost pleasant to remember the ridiculous power struggle the dressmaker thinks we are caught in.
Her assistants slide the dress over my head and begin making final adjustments.
Mother steps behind me. "Your father would be so proud of you."
My throat grows thick. In all the chaos, I haven't even been able to think about him.
"Father would have snuck away from whatever the men are doing to wait for the dress," I reply.
Mother chuckles. "And he would weep when he saw it. I may be able to fulfill that role for you."
He would call me beautiful in every language he knew then hurry off to make sure Anwen knew at least as many. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes. He should be here.
"Ah!" A needle pricks my ankle where one seamstress is fixing a hem, and I flinch away.
Bright towers over the offending woman "Be more careful! You-"
"There's no need for that!" I say quickly.
"She injured-"
Before she can finish her sentence, I reach out to the Goddess. The power springs to my command, easier and easier every time. My hands glow, and so does my ankle under the dress. When the feeling of pain fades, I lift my skirt to show the unblemished skin. "You see?"
Bright purses her lips. "Fine."
The seamstress shoots me an appreciative smile.
"You can heal?" Raven asks breathlessly, the veil delicately draped over her arms.
"Yes?" I furrow my brow. "Why?"
"Just yourself or others?"
"I haven't met anyone it doesn't work for, but I have only tried shifters from here and Sundrop Gem." I study the other queen's face, alight with excitement. This doesn't seem negative.
"What about animals?" She steps closer. "Or land?"
"I haven't tried. The power is fairly new. Please, can I know why you're asking?"
Raven grins, wide and unpracticed. "I've been trying to figure out how to help Escuro. The land itself. It's still sick, after what King Gavin did. I've found a couple of potions that work on an extremely small scale, healing one plant at a time, with the books here, but that's not exactly something you can do to a whole kingdom."
Embers of something bright kindle in my chest. "And you want to know if I could heal the kingdom."
She nods. "If you'd be willing to even try."
"Veil," Bright snaps.
Raven closes the distance between us and lowers the gauzy fabric onto my head. The embers burst into flame. Her excitement is contagious, electric. Could I heal a whole kingdom? Perhaps I am not blessed like this only to reunite Sundrop Gem and Dun's Crossing, but other kingdoms as well.
"Yes," I say. "Of course. We can start as soon as this is over. Or, if we have a little time-"
"Mirror." Bright snaps her fingers.
We have no time. I have a wedding to attend. I turn and behold myself. The woman in the mirror looks like Luna Queen of Sundrop Gem, ready for her Alpha King of Dun's Crossing. That, I suppose, is the point.
"Oh, Estrella," Mother breathes.
Raven nods. "You look amazing."
I smile and accept the compliments just as I did the wedding gifts. After a few more fusses, Bright opens the door and nudges me out to show the whole swarm of delegates.
Some women gasp. Others coo. Excited chatter fills the room.
I want to take the dress off and see what Raven has been working on. Or simply lay down for a while. Whatever excitement these women feel, I can't.
Just as I couldn't feel Anwen's excitement.
"Show's over," Bright bellows. "Luna Estrella needs to finish her preparations in quiet."
I can't feel Anwen's excitement because I'm tired, and the women filtering out of the room have overwhelmed me. Nothing more.
Raven squeezes my hand. "Kieran needs me to finish some stuff up, but I'll come talk to you at the reception."
Mother beholds me for a long moment then kisses both my cheeks. "Castor and I are leaving for a different part of the forest to seek the final blessing. We will return in time."
"May you hear Her voice." My smile strains.
She, Raven, and the seamstresses leave with the rest. Only Candace, Nessa, and Tess remain, as I asked. Now that I'm dressed, they all glow with excitement.
An excitement I still do not feel.