Candace
Raven lowers herself into her chair with a grunt that doesn't dampen the glowing smile on her face. "The calculations are in. Almost twice the area we revitalized yesterday returned today."
Estrella blinks quickly, like she's warding off tears. "I never dreamt-"
"None of us did." Raven takes her hand then turns to me. "And thank you for being here. Between my pregnancy fog and Estrella's power exhaustion, we need someone with a clear head."
I smile. "I'm hust happy I can help."
That is true. Since I left Hollis, I've been sick with anxiety. Every time I close my eyes, I picture the battlefield-the battlefield only he and I believe in. And then, I picture Eva. We've already lied to her for two days. Staying quiet any longer will only make it worse, but telling her is going to destroy her.
"...All right?" Estrella says, looking at me.
I blink. I didn't hear a word. "Um-"
Raven chuckles. "Still tired? I was exhausted for almost a week after the Haze."
Relief washes over me. "Yes. That's it. What were you saying?"
"According to the calculations Raven brought us, it should take perhaps a week to revitalize all the destroyed land," Estrella says. "Possibly more."
"And the spring equinox is in ten days." Raven smiles tiredly. "Which will officially put me a full two weeks after Fleming said I would give birth."
I rub her shoulder. She must be so uncomfortable, both physically and with having Fleming so far away. I get itchy if I think about it for too long. He makes the medication I have to take every afternoon for the heart condition I was born with, and even though I have enough, losing access to the source is nerve-wracking.
"I was saying it might be nice to formally extend our stay through the equinox." Estrella rubs her tired eyes. Concocting the revitalization potion several days in a row is draining her reserves like a sleepless night would. "We can formally unite all the kingdoms under the banner of celebration, even if we cannot do anything more at this time."
I nod even as my stomach twists. This is my chance to tell them about my dream, the threat to peace on the horizon.
"I'll send out some messengers, ask who will stay," I say instead.
"Thank you." Raven smiles. "I'll speak to Mother and Father first. They are technically hosting the event."
"Let me know." My smile feels tight. "Anything else?"
***
After splitting up from the meeting with our own assignments-mine being to wait, as usual-I dodge Ingrid and dart out of our circle of tents. I know it's silly, but something in my gut tells me she'll know what happened last night just by looking at me, and I can't face that right now. I need to talk to Hollis. I don't even know what he's thinking-
"Candace!" Eva calls.
My skin prickles as I turn with another tight smile. She darts through the flow of people toward me. They turn and stare as she passes, the few loose tendrils of her red hair flying in the wind and her skirt rustling. She really is beautiful.
"Hello," I say as she skids to a stop next to me.
"I was coming to find you," she says breathlessly. "There's a Tapia's pheasant on the west side of camp."
My jaw drops. "No one has seen a Tapia's pheasant-"
"Since King Gavin poisoned Escuro!" She grabs my hand and takes off through camp once more. I mumble apologies as I stumble in her wake. The last thing I need is for Mother to ask me about this later.
But when we emerge to the west, near a small cluster of barely leafed trees, and I catch sight of the green-and-purple reflective tail dragging along the ground, every other thought leaves my mind. I squat to get a better view of the impossible bird. Is the ritual bringing back wildlife, not just because there's food here again, but magically? Everyone agrees the Tapia's pheasant was practically extinct. Yet, this one squeaks a mating call as it struts from one tree to the next, its feathers catching the light.
"Isn't it beautiful?" Eva sits on the ground next to me. "I'm so glad I'm here."
"Me too." I glance at her. She looks perfectly relaxed. If Hollis believed me-
No. She's going to receive enough bad news, if we can ever figure out a way to tell her. She doesn't need to worry about this.
"Even if the Haze didn't work." She smiles ruefully. "It's so weird. I've never heard of anything like it."
"And if it worked, you and Hollis...."
"Would've mated." Her smile turns dreamy.
"How does that all work?" I ask, my gaze trained on the pheasant. "Being promised to one another. I thought the Goddess took the reins during the Haze."
She laughs. "I take it your mother didn't talk to you about it much?"
I shake my head furiously. "Once, she handed me a book on the matter and left. Raven and I didn't exactly have a sibling relationship growing up either."
"Then you've come to the right place." Eva plucks a piece of grass from the ground and begins shredding it. "I may not remember Mother, but Eyana, my oldest sister, mated during her very first Haze, almost four years ago. And the castle tutors made sure I knew everything about my role as a promised."
"Yuck." I wrinkle my nose. My main tutor was a graying older man called Mathis, and I don't want to imagine him telling me anything about mating. "I don't need the, um, physical details."
"Yuck is right. I'm happy to skip them." She grins. "So I can tell you that, while the Goddess does take over, we know what She's going to do. My family and Hollis's used to trade the throne back and forth every generation or so. And do you know a great way to end a generation?"
"Kill the current Alpha and Luna." I wince. That's the sort of plan my parents would've come up with.
She nods. "After a couple of blood-soaked centuries, people realized a Skadi and a Kar born right near each other ended up mated nearly every generation. And one of our holy women revealed that was a gift from the Goddess, a chance to stop fighting. So one of my ancestors and one of Hollis's struck the compromise. The Kars would keep the throne, but whichever one of their sons mated to one of us would become Alpha, regardless of succession." She shrugs. "We know what's going to happen because we trust the Goddess doesn't want the killing to start again."
I put every iota of willpower I have into watching the pheasant instead of blurting out the dream that's been haunting my sleep. Maybe the Goddess isn't the benevolent deity we've all been led to believe in. Maybe She wants there to be death in the world, and when Kieran stopped Father, She had to come up with a new way to make it happen.
Maybe I'm the new way.
"Did you mind?" My voice rasps out of my throat, jagged and uneven.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Eva glance at me. "Mind what?"
"Being the sacrificial lamb." I try to smile. "Having your whole life laid out for you, just because of when you were born."
She sighs and leans back on her hands. "I think I might've if I didn't like the plan so much."
I raise an eyebrow.
"Well, it's not like spending my life with Hollis will be so terrible." She giggles. "Even if he does poison me sometimes."
The blueberry story. I open my mouth to tell her I heard the full version from him, then shut it again. How could I possibly explain why we were together? Or when?
"You can tell me," she says, like I was going to share a secret.
"Oh." I fidget with the hem of my dress. "I was just going to say that you watched him grow up, go through all his awkward phases. You still want to marry him?"
"He saw me through mine." Her smile is soft, nostalgic. "I think there's something special about having known someone your whole life. I don't know how people mate with strangers or even just acquaintances. I like knowing the man behind the animal."
The pheasant's rusty call echoes a little louder, and we both turn. Bobbing out of the brush is another bird, smaller, grayer. A female! This isn't a once-in-a-lifetime miracle. We're witnessing the rebirth of the species.
That still isn't enough to keep my skin from crawling. I am just as cruel as Mother and Father. Worse, because Hollis avoided the question when I asked if he loved Eva, but I can see the difference in the way the two of them speak about each other anyway. They're undeniably close, but Hollis talks about her the way I talk about Finn.
And she talks about him the same way I do.
Eva clasps her hands under her chin as the two birds circle each other, no idea about the monster sitting next to her.