Estrella
I float for a long time in darkness. Not exactly here or absent. Not exactly comfortable or in pain. Not very much at all.
Then, my whole body flames back to screaming, torturous life at once. I am the heart of an inferno, consuming everything that I am to produce the flame. A hoarse, ragged scream tears from my throat. I lurch forward, trying to curl in on myself.
Something restrains me. I lash out, swinging wildly, and someone catches my hand.
"...strella," someone says. "Estrella, it's me. Anwen."
I blink. Tears slip down my cheeks instead of collecting in my eyes, and a few shafts of green-tinted light make it into my mind.
Leaning over me, blood smeared on his cheek, is a blond man. My shoulder pulses. No, not just any blond man. Pieces of myself slide together underneath the pain. He is Anwen. My mate.
I burble something meaningless.
"Hi." He sits, rests his chin on the edge of the painfully uncomfortable bed I seem to be lying on. "I love you."
I nod, which sends bolts of agony through my skull.
"Don't move." He glances off to the side. "This cure was made for a plant time scale."
Cure. Plants. I... know something connected to those. Somewhere.
Anwen takes my hand, and it feels like running ice over a burn. Where he touches me, I am something other than pain. It's enough to allow me to notice the silver cloak around his shoulders and his bare chest underneath. What is he wearing?
The last thing I remember is calling for him. Between now and then, there are only flashes. Something shining. Something gray. Pain, endless pain.
And the healing. I can heal. If I've survived, which I seem to have because death isn't intended to hurt this much, then I should be able to heal myself. I pull my hand from Anwen's with a hiss and start to reach for the power.
"Don't-" a woman says.
Anwen grabs my wrist, clearly trying to be gentle, so I bite down on the scream of pain.
"You can't yet." He glances over his shoulder. "Like I said, it's slow. You're still tapped."
Tapped? I tap my fingers on the back of his hand, and he smiles.
"Spent. Fucking exhausted, if you prefer." He kisses my forehead. "Raven says the wolfsbane will leave your body over the next couple of days. After that, patch yourself up whenever you want."
Queen Raven, whom I spoke to about healing Escuro earlier-today? I open my mouth to ask how long it has been, but the words won't come.
"Just relax." He kisses me again. "Please. I can only sprint through the castle so many times."
I glance around the room, expecting the small chamber Floyd climbed into. Instead, plants and glass greet me. I'm somewhere I've never seen before. Panic trickles through my veins. Then, I meet Anwen's eyes. He looks just as tired as I'm supposed to be, as if anyone could rest in this inferno, and nearly overwhelmed with relief. He believes we are supposed to be here. That's enough for me.
"Here." Raven offers him a cup. "She should drink something."
Between the two of them, I sit up just enough for Anwen to tip the cup to my lips. Cool, sweet water flows down my throat, soothing the burn. I close my eyes and just enjoy the feeling.
More pieces of memory return. Black veins on the backs of my hands, clutching a shard of mirror. Knowing, deep in my bones, that I was going to die, and Castor was going to have to figure out how to lead our people. Being angrier than I was disappointed in myself. The Goddess owed me more, after all I'd done for Her.
It seemed the Goddess intended to carry out that promise.
I open my eyes as Anwen takes the cup away and lowers me back down.
"Castor," I rasp. "Mother. Cristofer. Tess-"
"All safe." He cups my cheek. "I knew you'd kick my ass if they weren't."
My smile splits skin, or perhaps everything hurts like a new injury. Still, it is worth it. Floyd threw everything he had at us, and he lost.
I do not need to ask if he lost. If there were any concern for myself, for my family, Anwen would be running out the door, if he was here when I woke up at all. Relief dances along the currents of my pain. I no longer need to manage everything with him at my side.
Anwen returns my smile full force.
A door creaks open, and voices fill the room.
"Estrella!" Mother shrieks.
Kieran says, "She's o-"
Mother throws herself down at Anwen's side, sobbing, and reaches for me. I tense, anticipating the pain. She stops.
"Can I-are you-?" Her voice breaks off on another sob.
'I'm going to be all right,' I tell my family. 'In a few days.'
Mother cries even harder. Castor, Cristofer, and Tess crowd into the sliver of the room I can see without lifting my head. My chest squeezes.
'But I could endure one hug now,' I say.
They swarm me as Anwen steps aside to give them space. Mother wraps her arms around my searing chest. Tess circles around to the other side and drapes herself over my legs. Castor manages to hug Mother and I at once. Even Cristofer pats my shoulder, a gesture both painfully awkward and comforting in how simply him it is. Seeing them all, inhaling their familiar smells, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that Floyd failed, is worth the cascade of agony it sets off in my body.
Anwen grunts in pain. "Okay, that's enough."
"Just a moment longer," I plead.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see his indulgent smile.
After another moment, my family unwinds themselves from me. I exhale in a gust as my pain becomes manageable again. Tess perches on the edge of the seemingly wooden table I lay on. Mother remains kneeling at my side. Castor drifts back and forth between mere inches from my head and over by Raven's bubbling table of ingredients I know he's desperate to ask about.
"Thank you," I say to Raven through the crowd of my family. "I am sorry you had to waste your components on me."
"It wasn't a waste." Her voice is thick with emotion. "You said you wanted to help in development, after all."
"How-" My voice cracks, and I clear my throat. "How long has it been?"
"Four and a half hours," Anwen answers immediately. "Since you blacked out. I don't know what you remember."
I struggle to sit up. "The wedding-"
"Was canceled." Mother takes my hand in her own soft palm. "Your gown is ruined, if nothing else."
I look down at myself. My gown is ruined, far beyond whatever magic Bright used to clean it after I healed Baz. The bodice splits jaggedly to expose my naked flesh. A few scabs cling to my skin, but more remains wet and raw.
And the sick gray-black of wolfsbane reaches mere inches away from the injury itself.
My laugh is just as ragged as the fabric of my gown. I lay back down, fireworks of pain exploding behind my eyes.
"What if I wouldn't like to cancel the wedding?"
Mother, Castor, and Tess exchange looks.
"I... suppose we could come up with something from your closet," Tess says slowly.
"The delegates are here." Mother worries her lower lip.
"What? No," Castor says. "You have to rest. I'm not having your life saved by some magic potion, only for you to get sick while healing."
Painfully, I brush my fingers against his wrist. It's all I can reach. "You misunderstand me."
He frowns.
"Anwen?" I ask.
My mate, the other half of my heart, sits at my side once more. This time, there's no mistaking it-he is nude under the robe. I will ask about that later.
"Our wedding was part of a political plot to capture the man who murdered my father," I say.
He swallows. "Right."
I muster my best smile. "I would like to marry you because I love you."
His whole face lights. "I-"
"And," I interrupt, "I would like you to lead Sundrop Gem with me, as my Alpha King."
He blinks. "Isn't that automatic with the marriage?"
"The offer is supposed to be witnessed." I smile. "Is that a yes?"
"Of course." He kisses me as softly and sweetly as morning dew kisses the grass.
***
A week and a half later, Tess coaxes me slowly through the stretches our royal healer, Avi, concocted to keep the muscles in my chest from seizing. Even magic can only do so much. The sunset light shines through my gossamer curtains, illuminating the bedroom I grew up in.
Once all the wolfsbane fled my system, we returned to Sundrop Gem-with Anwen-for my convalescence. Everybody agreed the cold weather would be no help, though I was sorry to say goodbye to the friends I'd made. Candace and Raven both promised to write.
"A wedding is only one day," Tess says comfortingly. "You have the rest of your lives to behave as you wish."
I sigh as she pushes my arm higher above my head. "It is the one day dedicated to the declaration of our love. I wish that could be important."
"Well, having it here will certainly be more relaxed, won't it?" Tess smiles. "You won't have to contend with Bright."
I smile back at her, but it fades quickly. "I simply wish I was looking forward to my own wedding. There is far too much pressure, inviting all the other kingdoms and ensuring the people of Sundrop Gem understand Anwen's commitment to them."
"It really is just one day."
"I will tell you that once I promote Orion, and we will see how you like it then." I shake my head. "But a Luna owes her people. Shall we start with the guest list?"
Tess nods. "I did not like the Lilywind people. Must we-"
Mother steps into my room. "What are you girls talking about?"
"My wedding." I force a smile as Tess releases me from the final stretch. "I am well enough that we should begin planning."
"Why?" Mother asks.
I frown. "Because I would like to be wedded to my mate."
She shakes her head, a smile twinkling at the corners of her lips. "I mean, why are you doing that when your wedding is already planned?"
"What?" I ask breathlessly. "How?"
Tess grins. "Go with her if you want to find out."
Mother offers me her arm. I take it and step, wide-eyed, into the unknown.