“Thanks. It’s more than generous, but I…”
When I verbally stumbled, Finn continued with his pitch. “Then what’s the problem? You’ll like it. There are great eateries and shops and…people.” He purposefully paused as both of us looked across our latest concert venue to where Hawk was speaking with some fellow road travelers.
“I don’t know. There is no problem. It’s just a…” A leap, closure…real. But while those thoughts silently circulated through my mind, I saw Hawk look directly over at us and give a quick wink. That encouraged me to finish my words to Finn. “It’s an amazing offer and yes…yes, I am ready.”
“Great, Maya. I thought I was going to have to bring in the big guns to convince you.” Obviously noting my scrunched, perplexed face, he explained. “My two little darlings.”
I smiled, thinking of Chance and Arinn. “They would have sealed the deal for sure.”
Finn nodded in Hawk’s direction. “Go over there and tell Brawny he has ten minutes and then it’s time to roll. They’ll be letting people in soon.”
I laughed at the jestful, yet fitting, name Finn used for Hawk. While the superstar walked off, phone already to ear, I strolled toward the tall, handsome, dark-copper-topped man. On my approach, our other tour mates walked away.
“Something I said?”
“No. More like something I said.” Hawk smirked. “I told them if they knew what was good for them, they would let me have a few minutes with you.”
“Hawk!”
He ignored me, obviously having an agenda of his own. “Everything all right?” He paused for the slightest of seconds. “You’ve been a little moody the past couple of days.” When he saw me do the “stand up for women” thing with my glare, he retreated slightly. “All right—not moody. How about ‘off’?”
“No. You’re right. I’ve been, I guess, distracted.”
I had been. I knew it. The tour was soon coming to a close, and all I could think about was how everything was going to end. It reminded me of how, before she left, Vanessa had said she felt at the beginning of every August. As a reading specialist for a school district, she knew turning the calendar to August signified the end of summer break. I knew I should soak up the time remaining on tour, but my mind was too clouded with finality.
“You wanta tell me what it’s about? Did it have anything to do with what you and the chief were talking about?”
“Yeah. And I’m sure you already know.”
“No, Maya. I wouldn’t be asking if I did.”
I couldn’t help but be a little surprised, especially because I could tell his response was legit. “About the possibility of me moving to Nashville and staying on permanently as part of Finn’s team. Not so much with the kids.” I knew, and Finn had confirmed, that he and Lara did not believe in nannies and wanted to raise their children as normal and on their own as they could. “But I would be blogging and the social media accounts…dealing with some of the Nashville stuff if Reese can’t make it there. You two didn’t talk about it?”
“No,” he replied, and I was a little shocked but, admittedly, a little proud that the offer was purely about my work. “He has said how great it is that you’ve been a part of this craziness. We talked, but I didn’t know about a permanent job offer.”
That was all Hawk said, though. He didn’t give me any more of his insight on the subject. I had no idea what his thoughts or feelings were on the matter of my possible employment or residency.
Knowing his opinion mattered pretty much more than even my own at that point, I asked the direct question. “What do you think about it…if I took the job?”
But what I got was the question bounced back. “What do you think about it?”
Hoping his reply wasn’t a stalling or deflection technique, I went for my honest answer. “I think I’d like it an awful lot.”
The grin on his face was bigger than I had ever seen from him. “I think I’d like it an awful lot, too.”
I wasn’t going to lie. There was an actual flow of warmth throughout my body. Pure relief. I believed the thing between the two of us was more than just a summer fling. And his answer pretty much solidified it for me. Between Finn’s offer and Hawk’s response, the clouds had definitely lifted.
“I don’t know, though.” I felt light and carefree again—enough to joke around. “Maybe I might need a little influencing?”
The way his eyes lit up acknowledged that he remembered the first time he hadn’t been trying to influence me into taking a job. I flashed back to the kiss outside my hotel room in the Keys. It was what had started it all. And the kiss then on the field of one of the most popular baseball stadiums in the country, even exceeded that first one.
“That may have worked in the beginning,” I joked. “But you have to step up your game, mister.”
Before I could get the last word out of my mouth, he had me in his arms and glided us both onto the turf. One of those rare but captivating Hawk smiles spread across his face as he planked above me. His kisses, mimicking mine, were sweet and soft and full of happiness.
***
Telling Hawk my plans was a lot easier than telling Sophia. While she had championed every blog and success I had that summer, I think it was under the guise of knowing it was a fifteen-minutes-of-fame kind of deal, and that I would return to Maryland when the leaves began to change. After all, it was what I had thought, too.
I had gradually made a new life with new possibilities all around me, though. But Sophia hadn’t been a direct eyewitness to it. And in the midst of still worrying about her father, who was almost back to normal, it hit her hard. It was like my move was not only going to be one of physical mileage away from their lives, it was as if Jeff was leaving all over again.
In the end, though, I knew I had hers and the entire Shriver clan’s support and blessing. With Jeff’s dad in the real estate business, he was going to take charge of the sale of my house, and I was most grateful. That was going to be the emotional part for me. After all, the light blue frame abode in suburban Maryland held so many memories of my life. It had first been the house where I would visit my grandma. Then it became my safe haven when my world fell apart and my grandmother became “mom.” And finally, it had been my first and only home with my husband. Every wall, brick, and appliance had some kind of memory to me. I would need support for sure.
And that time was coming soon. The tour was reaching the finish line. Finn was going to celebrate his September eleventh birthday quietly at home in Nashville before his concert stop there. And then there was just one more gig two days after that.
Because there were a couple days of break before the Nashville concert, Hawk secured one of the cars and the two of us were making a pit stop at his mother’s house in Oklahoma, since it was basically on the way. I was excited to experience a part of Hawk’s life that I could only imagine through the limited stories he’d told me about his family and growing up. But I was also nervous. When he talked about his mom, it was always in adoration and pride about what she had accomplished on her own. I didn’t know how I was going to stack up. Jeff’s parents had been a hard sell in the beginning. It wasn’t that they didn’t necessarily like me, it was that I don’t think they took Jeff and me seriously. Until me, he had a different girl at almost every holiday celebration. Hawk, I knew, because of distance alone, didn’t see his family very often, much less bring someone home with him. So I wondered how my visit would play out.
“What should I call her?” My stomach seemed to knot just a little bit tighter as the GPS showed we were getting closer.
“Who?” Hawk had his left arm casually dangling out the window as he drove with his right.
“Your mom. Who else?” I knew I couldn’t call her Mrs. anything because she had never married…to Hawk’s dad or anyone else, for that matter.
“Della.” He pronounced his mother’s first name just as calmly as he had spoken before.
“Yeah?” Was that disrespectful? Too personal?
“Call her Della. It’s her name. Why? What should I have her call you?”
I shook my head at his absurdity and then answered. “Right now? Tired bitch.”
He did an airy laugh and switched steering wheel arms so he could rest his right hand on the back of my head. “Why don’t you just stay at the house, and I’ll go by myself to pick her up at the airport. You can rest.”
“Really?”
It was someone else’s house. Wouldn’t I be intruding? But, God, I knew I could really use a quick snooze to refresh. Between the constant movement of being on the road and the decision to upend my life permanently, I had felt more emotional and tired than usual.
“Sure,” he replied. “What’s the point of you having to deal with the crowds and traffic and luggage? We won’t be too long. Plus, it will give me time to personally warn my mom about how weird you are.”
“Hawk!”
“Maya…” His voice was calming. “I know you’re tired. It’s fine. And as far as weird, wait until you meet my brother.”
I shook my head once more. The easy banter between the two of us relaxed me once again. I was anxious and excited to meet his family. It was not only going to be his mom—who was flying back from a trip—but also his younger brother, sister-in-law, and their two kids who lived in another part of the state. Hawk’s older brother, following in their father’s footsteps, lived on a military base overseas, so he would not be joining the rest of the Brannigan bunch.
By the time we were at Della’s farmhouse, which was surrounded by the peace and serenity of just open fields, the fair weather had turned. It had started to drizzle. But even worse was the force of the wind. We scurried onto the extended front porch as Hawk found the front door key hidden under a flower pot. Was it really that simple and innocent in the small Oklahoma town? You would have never dared do that where I was from. Besides, Jeff would have had a fit. I was surprised Hawk didn’t, too.
“I know.” He shook his head, seemingly reading my mind. “It’s not normally here. She insisted on leaving it for us. But, really, this place isn’t too far removed from Mayberry.”
I followed him into the home. It wasn’t the house where Hawk and his brothers had grown up. It could have been, though. It was big enough. It was a house that Della moved into a few years before when a lonely, old woman, who had been Della’s travel customer, died and willed it to her. She wanted Hawk’s mom to start her own travel business instead of working at an agency. And Della had—right there out of her home.
Hawk first showed me his mother’s home office—a room located off the foyer. Hanging on the walls were photographs and memorabilia of all the places around the world she had traveled to. There was also a large map and a globe. And, of course, there was an impressive desk, as well as a tall stained-glass lamp, computer, and chairs for customers.
Nearby was the expansive kitchen-dining area. It was obviously a part of the residence area of the house. But Hawk said his mom did as much business there as in the office. He bragged about her baking skills and how she would often butter the customers up around the large, old, homemade oak table that could fit at least ten.
The central living room was where I felt most comfortable, though. There were pictures of Della—petite with short blond hair—surrounded by her family. And there were plenty of photos of Hawk’s brothers’ children and a few of Hawk, Liam, and Jacob, with their matching noses and smiles, growing up. I kind of felt bad that Hawk didn’t have any more recent photos but realized that was how it usually worked. I knew it. Jeff and I had seen it at his folks’ house, too—it was always all about the kids.
“You and your brothers look a lot alike,” I commented.
“Yep.” He was almost a little bashful as I looked around. “But your hair is a little darker,” I noted.
“I got dad’s hair, one hundred percent. They’re a little more mom. And Jake’s a little taller and Liam has a little wider of a face.” When I touched Hawk’s face, which was just perfect to me, he said, “Get some sleep. The front two bedrooms upstairs are open. Pick one. I’m gonna head out. People will be driving like they’ve never seen a raindrop before.” He shook his head at the potential inept drivers on the roads.
“I don’t know if I will be able to sleep. Maybe I’ll watch a little TV and rest my eyes,” I said. “The sofa is fine.”
“Wherever, Maya. Make yourself at home. I’ll see you soon.” He first looked at me and then around the room before giving me a kiss.
“Drive safe.” I just couldn’t help it.
***
My phone. Yep, it was my phone. It was ringing. I must have fallen asleep on the antique, high-backed Victorian sofa. But for how long? It was dark outside. I sat up a little straighter and grabbed my phone from the coffee table.
After acknowledging the mid-afternoon time, I answered my cell. “Hawk? Hey.”
“Mai—”
I cut him off, playing forecaster via the picture window. “Those clouds sure are heavy and dark. What’s up with your mom’s flight?”
“It was rerouted. Haven’t you seen the news?”
“No. I was sleeping.” I breathed out a gust of air. I had been out. I must have been more tired than I thought. I hadn’t even put on the television.
“There’s a tornado warning.”
“Huh? Really?” I took another glance out the window—the wind had picked up since Hawk had left, but there wasn’t any rain.
“You need to get in the storm shelter.”
“What?”
“Right behind the house, next to the garage, there is a set of doors on the ground. They’re red. There’s no key, just a simple latch.” God, he was serious.
“Like The Wizard of Oz?” That was the only association of tornados and storm shelters I remotely had.
“Wha—?” He wasn’t up for my movie reference. “Yeah. Yeah.”
“I’ll be fine here,” I insisted.
“You’ll be fine because you are going to go into that cellar.” His directive was punctuated with clipped force and, I knew, concern.
“I’ll be fine,” I soothed. “I’ll put the TV on. I’ll stay away from the windows.” I knew what to do. “It’s just a little wind. Besides, macho man, you forget how we met. I’m pretty capable of—”
“Maya, this isn’t an active shooter!” he boomed, causing me to not only stop mid-sentence but flinch. “And it’s not a thunderstorm we’re going to out-drive. I’ve been through these before. You need to get in the cellar. You don’t have a lot of time.” I could hear the elevation of stress in his voice not only because of the storm but because of my obstinate stance.
That didn’t help me because, despite my façade, the tornado, with its winds already battering against the house, scared me. But I couldn’t go into a storm shelter…not in a dark, small, closed … “I…Hawk, no. I can’t.” That time, my voice came out in more of a plea.
“Maya!”
“There’s no windows, right? It’s underground…small?”
He either realized then or understood that yelling at me wasn’t helping. “Sweetie, I know. You need to, though. You can do this. I’ll talk with you as long as I can, but I’m afraid the cell service might not work down there.” He had me for a second with his offer of continuing to talk, but the thought of not having any communication…forget it.
“No, I don’t think I can.”
“You can. Just stay down there until someone comes and gets you or you can tell it’s absolutely still…for a while. They’re not letting us leave. We’re in the tunnel connecting the airport and the parking. When they do…when I get back on the road, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“You need to be safe!” I exclaimed, rising from the sofa in full stance.
“I am.” I know he was speaking as calmly as his body was letting him. “Momma usually keeps a flashlight in the top drawer next to the stove. Go, Maya.”
“Haw—”
“Maya, don’t make me stand next to another grave.” He said it gut-wrenchingly slow because of the impact it had on both of us. After a pause, he added his own plea. “Please.”
I was in the kitchen on his final word. I knew what it was like to stand at a grave, especially in front of one whose life could have been spared if they hadn’t thought they were invincible. “All right. I have the flashlight.” I found it right where he had said.
“Good.” His exhale was strong. “Mai? I—”
But I couldn’t hear anything more. The phone was already breaking up, and I had just stepped outside. The kitchen’s back door was a beast to even shut.
“Sheez.” I gasped for air from the effort of the door shutting and just trying to stand upright. “It’s really bad,” I yelled over the wind and into the phone. “I’m outside. I’m going to the cellar doors. I’m…God, I’m a little scared,” I admitted. I was far from “a little.”
“I know. You got this. You got this, Maya. I know it.” His voice was going in and out, but I could hear it and at least know it was him. “Keep breathing.”
“You’re breaking up.” It was hard to talk and try to get the damn, old shelter doors undone. “I’ve got to put the phone down for a sec.” When I didn’t hear anything from his end, I let out a small wail and shoved the phone and flashlight into my pants. It was the only place I felt they wouldn’t fly away.
Finally, I opened the red doors. The howling wind was not only deafening my voice, but it was blowing me around. I knew it was serious. I had to get in the shelter. I couldn’t even look up. There were leaves and other debris whipping around. I kept my head hung and found my way, inching down the first few steps of the dark abyss.
I flipped on the flashlight. Thank God it worked. When I looked downward, there wasn’t much to see. It was a simple, plain, yet solid, cold cellar. Suspended on the steps, with the doors wide open just inches above me, I put the flashlight back in my pants and pressed the speaker button on the phone.
“Hawk?” I tried again.
“Maya!”
“I’m in,” I screamed, knowing it was going to be nearly impossible for him to hear me. “But I have to shut—Oh, God.” Just the thought of shutting those doors made me want to vomit.
“Maya? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“All right…Okay.” I reached up and yanked until they closed.
“Feel how mu—”
And, nothing. He was gone. We were disconnected. I kept shouting out his name. But it was no use. I climbed down the remainder of the steps and placed the flashlight on the ground so it was beaming straight up. I then placed my useless phone next to it. I’m sure it was searching and searching for a signal, just as I was. It wanted a connection to the real world just like I did—not inside a dark and dusty cave.
I laughed, almost in hysterics as I thought of Finn’s similarly named song. I even tried to sing a few verses in hopes it would get my mind off my predicament, but it wasn’t working. Even through the solid captivity of the cellar, the circling wind was making so much noise I couldn’t even think or hear myself sing.
It was stifling hot despite the little rectangle that supposedly provided ventilation. I had only been in there a matter of minutes, and I was considering stripping out of my clothes. I knew I was panicking. I knew I was panicking instantly. I considered opening the doors back up and just going for the house. Maybe there would be a bathtub to lie in. Wasn’t that what you were supposed to do? But when I inched back toward the first step, the winds were howling. It was like a piercing alarm was vibrating as loud as it could in an attempt to break my eardrums. And then there was a thunderous, metallic boom like something had exploded right above my head. That, intermixed with the recollection of Hawk’s words encouraging me to breathe, gave me the courage to be entombed a little longer.
I closed my eyes. It didn’t do much good to have them open, anyway…it was so dark. I tried meditation. I had seen Finn do it a couple times on tour, and it calmed him. But the storm that was raging inside my body was battling with the fierce one just feet above. I tried timelining every second from the moment Hawk and I first met. I imagined I had my laptop and was editing the scenes, as there were things I forgot and retraced back to and things I wanted to bold and highlight and exclamation point.
And then, finally, there was stillness. There was stillness above me. My pursing lips slowed, and I took a deeper breath. The storm seemed to be over, and I would be able to leave. I decided to wait just a couple more minutes to be sure. I had been able to hold out that long. A few more minutes, knowing freedom and genuine air were just on the other side, was doable.
The silence remained, so I exhaled a couple more times and started to climb— cell phone and flashlight intact—up the steps. I had no idea what to expect when I would eventually make my way out of the escape hatch. Would there be total destruction? Or broken windows and shingles? Or simply trash tossed around? All I had to do was spring open those red doors, and I would find out.
But they didn’t open. They… Oh, my God, wouldn’t move. Well, there was a little wiggle, but the doors were not going to budge. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Having just regained a slight semblance of regular breathing back, I began to downright hyperventilate. I pushed. I clawed. I screamed. I went back down the steps and sat and tried to calm. My thougsht process was not rational. I thought I was actually losing my mind. I could not think straight…at all. I climbed the steps once more and pushed and clawed and screamed again. Nothing was working. I went back down, cursed my useless phone, cursed Hawk, and cried…hard.