I did not expect to hear from Hawk before that night’s concert. The best I was hoping for was a redo around the post-show circle. But hear from him I did.
I had been walking with Lara, Vanessa, and the kids around the grounds. There were concert-goers tailgating and meandering, but we went unnoticed, partly because of hats and sunglasses, but a lot because of the privacy Finn insisted on with his family. Pictures of the kids were very scarce. So it gave Lara, Chance, and Arinn some anonymity. We were heading back to the trailers so Lara could get the kids something to eat and calmed down before putting them to bed. She and Vanessa were staying with the kids that night, leaving me some free time before the after-show. They had just asked me if I wanted to stay with them for a glass of wine when a text came through.
Meet me backstage? It was from Hawk.
I typed back After the show?
No…now was his response.
“Everything all right?” Lara asked. “Is it your friend Sophia?” We had talked a lot about Jeff and Sophia’s father during our tromp around the area.
“No. No. Everything’s good.” I looked back at my phone.
“Is it Hawk?” Vanessa, I was learning, was bold, outgoing, and a little feisty—a style that seemed to both compliment and contrast her best friend’s.
Before I could answer, a follow-up text came in from Hawk. It will just B a couple mins.
He probably thought I was hesitating…which a little bit of me was. I didn’t want to interfere while he was doing his job, just as I asked of him the day before. But I also realized, considering the unique situation we were in—working for the same employer and being in the work environment essentially twenty-four-seven— the lines were going to be blurred. He asked me to see him, and God knew I wanted to. I was the one who’d initiated the contact earlier, anyway.
“Yeah,” I replied to Vanessa first. “I’m just gonna meet up with him for a sec. Have some wine for me.”
And then I texted back to Hawk. OK. B there soon.
“If you see my man, tell him not to use up all his energy.” She smirked a sultry look.
Lara and I had a similar head shake as I said, “If I see him.”
I put on my backstage pass lanyard and made my way through the mass of people who were all busy doing their own part to make the superstar’s show spectacular. I had a pretty good idea where Hawk would be…or at least in the vicinity. And I was right.
Without being detected, I stood back, watched, and waited. He was helping move some type of equipment with a couple of the guys. He had such strength. But it wasn’t just in those muscular arms. It was in the way he directed people—in an authoritarian way but not with one ounce of superiority. He knew what he was doing and people respected him for it.
When the other men moved on to the next project, Hawk turned. That was when he noticed me. “Hi.” He wiped his hand on the thigh of his army-green cargo shorts.
“Hey.” I took the couple remaining steps toward him.
But before we could get more than the single introductory words in, somebody from catering interrupted, asking about a delivery. Of course, Hawk knew. He seemed to have his hands in a little bit of everything.
Problem solved, he turned his attention back to me. “How’s your…Sophia’s…” He seemed to stumble on what to call my father-in-law.
But then again, so did I. We weren’t truly in-laws any more. And I was only really realizing that, as my relationship with the man in front of me evolved.
“Stable,” I answered.
“Good, right?”
“Yeah.” Thank goodness. “They’re probably gonna keep him for about a week, though. I’ll tell you more about it later. I know you’re busy.”
Even though we had managed to have a minute conversation without being interrupted, it certainly wasn’t intimate. There were people buzzing around everywhere. And I knew some of them were going to need Hawk’s attention.
“Yeah.” He couldn’t deny it. “How about tomorrow?”
Admittedly, my heart sank a tad. “Yeah, I guess. But I thought I’d see you after the show.”
He tilted his head slightly when looking at me. “Not going. I’m driving again tomorrow. You in?”
My enthusiastic, instant “Yes!” got an equally quick closed-mouth smile from Hawk. “Oh…” I amended, briefly remembering then what should have been my first concern. “Should I check with Fi—”
He cut me off. “Stop worrying about him. You can go!”
“Okay.”
I regretted asking, not only because of Hawk’s agitated state but because I already knew the answer. I hadn’t asked the previous time if I could ride with Hawk. And it shouldn’t have been any different. It didn’t matter which of the onslaught of vehicles got me there as long as I was in one of them…and I got my work done.
That fact made me say my next thought, though. “I guess I should maybe go write the blog since I won’t be able to do it in the car tomorrow.”
“That’s why I wanted to catch you now.” He had brought his level back down to normal.
“Hawk, did Finn sign those posters?” Someone else was asking him another completely random question.
“Yeah, yeah,” he answered. “I got him to take care of it.”
“Good deal.” And off they went in another direction.
“Sorry,” Hawk apologized to me and said, “It’s crazy.”
“Yeah.” Like I didn’t already know. “You could have just texted me. You know my answer would have been the same.” I brought my cheeks up in a subtle smile, hoping he realized how much I truly wanted to be in the car with him that next morning.
“But then, Maya, I wouldn’t have gotten a goodnight kiss. You are going to let me kiss you, aren’t you?”
If his magnetic, piercing eyes didn’t totally do me in, it was the way he asked—the sweet yet needy desire in his voice. Our lips hadn’t touched one another’s since the interrupted volleyball game and, hell yeah, I wanted them to. I didn’t think, and I didn’t verbally respond. I just took the remaining step closer, locked on to his eyes, and let my lips do the rest. The constant hum of all the commotion around us seemed to disappear during the soft, therapeutic kiss. When I dipped my head onto his sturdy, strong chest for a second afterward, I felt it sag in a calming way.
“Hawk? Finn’s ready.”
On Shelly’s voice, I pulled away. Time to go. Definitely not time to be in his arms.
But Hawk grasped my hand. “Tomorrow,” he said.
***
Headlights beamed onto the vast field full of vehicles ready to set off once again to our next destination. Those and the barely beginning to rise sun were the only things that illuminated my way to Hawk, who was standing propped up against the vehicle awaiting my arrival. We were both casually dressed for a long day of car travel. He was in a navy-blue hoodie and light cargo shorts, and I wore a white tee and jean capris.
“Good morning.” His quiet voice came out a little gargled, most likely from not having used it yet that day.
“Hmmm…” I managed. “Getting there.”
He opened my passenger door and waited for me to sit before closing it. Someone had taught him really nice manners. Internally attributing it to his practically single mom of three boys, I watched him enter the car via the driver’s side.
After starting the ignition, he took note of my belongings. “I thought you said you were going to get your stuff done last night.” It was an obvious reference to my laptop.
“I did,” I answered. “Even stayed up a little late, working ahead. This is just in case something comes up.” And I carefully stretched to put it and my phone in the back. After latching my seatbelt, my next move was to push down the window a tad.
“You warm?” Hawk’s voice was definitely perplexed. “It’s so early.”
I barely got “Just like the fresh air” out when a yawn escaped. “Sorry.”
“If you didn’t have that coffee,” he noted the travel mug I had immediately snuggled into one of the cup holders between our seats. “I would tell you to go back to sleep.”
“It’s for you. Wanta make sure you are awake.”
“I am.”
“For sure?” I know I sounded like a nag, and I tried so hard not to be, but it really, truly couldn’t be helped. “It’s just such an early start, and I know—”
“I’m fine, Maya.” He put his hand on the mug. “But I appreciate the gesture, and I’ll take the coffee. Thanks.” At least he sounded legitimately grateful.
After watching him take his first hearty sip, I asked, “Is it all right?”
“Yeah.”
“You shouldn’t be all that surprised,” I said, upon the inflection of his one-word answer. “I pay attention, remember. Just a bit of cream, right?”
I did pay attention—a people watcher. Not only did I pretty much have Hawk’s coffee order down to a science, I also noted he was mainly a beer and occasional wine drinker. But no matter how much he drank—and it seemed to be significant enough—he never appeared to get drunk or lose control. I was a little less aware of his food habits, though. But from what I could gather, he ate simple, wholesome kinds of food…not a lot of sweets. It showed in his build—his solid chest and those well-defined, muscular arms.
“Might need a little sugar,” he teased, and leaned his coffee-flavored mouth onto my freshly toothpaste-minted one. “Perfect,” he concluded after the kiss. “Go ahead. Go to sleep.”
“You sure because I could—” God, Maya, I cursed myself for nagging.
“Yeah, Mai. I got the coffee and your window open.” He shook his head, still in disbelief of my act. “And if you snore, it will keep me even more awake.”
“I do not snore!” I exclaimed. I knew that for a fact—Jeff had told me I was such a silent sleeper, he had sometimes wondered if I was alive.
“I guess I’ll find out.” Hawk tipped the coffee mug back up to his lips and started the car down the road.
***
I really hadn’t expected to fall asleep in the car, no matter how little slumber I had achieved the night before. I never thought I would feel comfortable enough—either physically with a window as my pillow, mentally being in a moving vehicle, or emotionally with someone I had not slept next to before. But exhaustion must have won…and won quickly. I didn’t recall too many road signs or buildings before my eyes must have shut and put me to sleep.
When I did wake, the first thing I observed was the sun was definitely up. The next thing I noticed was Hawk’s hand lying casually and protectively on my leg. “Hi,” I said, turning just enough to straighten up but not dislodge the placement of his fingers.
“Hi,” he echoed.
“Where we at?”
“We’re officially in Nevada.”
“Hmmm,” I murmured, still trying to adjust to my awake status. My sleep hadn’t been long, but it had been legit. “I missed the big border crossing.”
“It was terribly exciting,” he mocked. “A snore.”
“I did not,” I protested, knowing exactly what he was implying.
There was the tiniest bit of a belly laugh. “No. You did not.” He rubbed my leg and then went to put his hand back on the steering wheel.
Missing his touch instantly, I took his hand back. He managed a side glance at me as I placed his hand on my leg. “It felt nice. And I do like when you protect me, Hawk.”
His eyes were more direct as he said, “We need to talk about all of that.” But he let his hand remain.
“It sounds like I’m going to be scolded.” I tried to make light of the situation even though I knew when I said it and how I said it, it alluded to the source of tension that had been between us since Father’s Day.
“Maya…” My name came out like a disappointment. “No.” He self-corrected, took an anticipatory breath, and said, “I talked with Finn. That’s what the whole gym thing was about.”
“What?”
At my tense query, he once again removed his hand. He had talked with Finn, and by our conversation starter, there was no doubt it was about what went down between the two of them and me. God, who initiated that conversation? And what did it mean?
“I know you didn’t want me to, but I did,” he continued. “I had to because you backing away or whatever is going on is not gonna work. I can’t…I need…” He swung his index finger back and forth between the two of us. “I need this to be okay.”
The awkward way the last part of his statement came out, plus the fact he was the one who brought the subject up with Finn, made me realize how much he cared about me…about us. It made me proud and appreciative of the man just inches away from me. But then, it made me nervous. What was the end result of their conversation?
“What did you say?” My voice was quieter in anticipation of a verdict. “What did he say?”
There was a small exhale before he replied. “Like I told you, he didn’t give that comment the other day a second thought. You and I don’t have to pretend we’re not together—at any time,” he emphasized. “He was going to talk with you and make sure you knew that. He actually felt bad. But I offered to drive today so I could…so we could talk.”
“Okay.” I felt like some of the weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
“Okay?” Hawk dipped his head a little toward mine. “Okay I talked with him? Or…”
“Okay with, yeah, all of it,” I clarified, while still processing the information and knowing it would make things so much easier and relaxed between the two of us. “I didn’t like it either, you know. I was just worried. I was worried about your job, about—” I started to explain.
“I know. I’m telling you, you don’t have to be. If you want me to have Finn talk with you…”
“No,” I replied immediately.
It was embarrassing enough. I certainly didn’t want to rehash it with Finn himself. I would much rather deny and forget those past few days or so even happened.
“I’m good,” I reiterated. “It’s…it’s good.”
Besides, I didn’t need the country singer to tell me. Lara had, in a roundabout way, already done that the day before. When the subject of Hawk and me came up—thanks to Vanessa, of course—Lara had said how happy both she and Finn were that Hawk was happy. I didn’t tell Hawk that, though. He was way too macho for such girly talk.
“Good.” We drove in silence for a minute or so before Hawk, looking straight ahead to the windshield, said, “What are you going to do during the Louisville break?”
“Uh…” I scrambled my brain to the apparent change of subject. “I don’t know. I probably should go back home. I haven’t given it much thought, and I know I should. It’s coming up so soon.”
“A week. Well, six days.” He was more specific.
“I know. I guess you’re staying in Louisville. You’re like ‘I stay with the president, sir’ on these deals, right?” I joked since Finn and family were staying with his mom in that town where he grew up.
“Ha!” He seemed to appreciate my comparison of his job to a Secret Service agent. “I never thought of it that way, but, yeah, I guess, pretty much. Mostly everybody is going into Nashville since it’s only a couple hours away and home. I could, but…” He paused and finally did a side glance at me. “Finn offered to put the two of us up at the Galt House. It’s a nice hotel by the river.” His eyes were on mine as I quickly processed the offer and what it suggested. His voice was a little slower with the actual question. “Whatcha think? Would you want to stay with me? We’ll have some free time. I could show you around town. We—”
“Yeah.” I didn’t need to hear any more. “Yes,” I clarified, a little louder and enthusiastically.
Yes, it sounded like a fantastically marvelous idea. It was a chance for us to really be alone together. Besides the golf outing and a few car rides, we really had never been. And I knew what a hotel for a few days or so implied. And I was ready. I was so ready. I wanted to let him know that those past couple of days had nothing to do with the intensity of my feelings for him. And I knew by not only the hotel offer but the talk with Finn, his hadn’t either. The fact that it was Finn-endorsed was the icing on top of the cake.
“Sounds perfect.” I summarized my internal thoughts verbally and succinctly.
His voice and composure seemed to ease. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
“Then why is your hand still on the steering wheel?” When I smiled, he smiled back and placed his right hand back on my left thigh. And I knew not only was everything back to normal, it was even better.
***
“Hey, I just wanted to let you know we’ll catch up with y’all. I’m detouring through Vegas. Maya’s never been, and I thought I’d show her.” Hawk was on his phone, speaking with Toot.
As he listened, I watched out the windows. It had pretty much been deserted highway roads since we left California. I could not possibly imagine how the glamor and lights of Vegas were going to pop out of it. I had never had any desire to visit the notorious gambling city. But since we were right on top of it, I was anxious to at least witness what I had only seen on television and in the movies.
The whole summer had been like that, day after day. I had never ventured much in the United States before then. When I was little, we took trips to Hawaii, Disney World, and California, but I only had photo memories…not real ones. Other than that, I had pretty much stayed in the Maryland/DC area, besides when Jeff and I went on our honeymoon to Germany. Oh, and the Shriver family reunion in Connecticut.
I refocused on Hawk’s voice. “No, not hitting the tables or slots,” he said into the phone and then seemed to tag on, “No, not the buffets, either.” He laughed and listened to the head driver again. “Elvis…?” He looked over at me. “Whatever, Toot. I’m hanging up now. We’re just driving through. We’ll be right behind you. In fact, we might be ahead, how some of you drive.”
And before I knew it, I was the stereotypical tourist. I had the window all the way down and was taking videos and pic after pic of all the ostentatious buildings on the Strip. It was just around eight in the morning. So there were enough cars on the road, but Hawk still managed to drive slow for my benefit. Mandalay Bay, Luxor, Excalibur, Tropicana, MGM Grand, Bellagio… I managed to take it all in with audible awe and wonder in my voice.
“I can’t even imagine the insides of some of these places.” My head was cranked up, looking at the towering buildings above.
There was an edge of amusement coming from the driver’s side. “It’s like Disney for adults. It’s fun. But when we’re here, we rarely get a chance to see a show or tour anything, though.”
“ACMs?” I knew the award show was broadcast in Vegas annually.
“Yeah.” He paused before continuing. “Yeah, you should come. You would like it.”
“I’m sure I would.” I was thinking the show was nearly a year away, and God knew where I would be then. Deciding to get myself out of my hasty funk, I decided to stay in the beautiful, amazing present. “Thanks, Hawk.”
“For?”
“For riding me into Sin City.” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I realized the non-intended sexual innuendo. When he squinted his eyes at me in an obvious debate on how to react, I admitted my word blunder. “Go ahead, laugh. It was funny.”
He nodded his head. “Any time, Maya.” And on the repeat, he said it slower. “Any time.”
I was thankful there was enough traffic to keep the driver’s eyes more on the road than on mine at the moment. The pull between us was undeniable, and I knew it was going to cultivate into something magical…soon. Without saying it, we both knew the invite of Louisville promised to be that time…when all of those feelings that had been building could find their proper home.
I wanted to take in the sights, sounds, and heat of Vegas while they were still fresh in my mind and write them down. So I reached into the back and pulled my laptop up front with me. It wasn’t anything formal—just some notes. But once I got started, I found my fingers dancing on the keyboard.
As Hawk made our way out of the Strip and into a little less busy commercial area, it was like any other suburban town. There were grocery stores and big-box chains. I didn’t bother to look up. I just continued to type.
But when Hawk not only stopped the car but put it in park, it forced me to take note of our location. It had only been about fifteen minutes from the Strip. Why were we stopping? We couldn’t have needed gasoline yet.
I laughed loud and quick once I did a double take of the multitude of cars parked around us. The rows immediately in our line of vision were all…Volkswagen Bugs. We were in the parking lot of a VW dealer.
“Parked bug.” Hawk chuckled, seemingly causing his eyes to light up and his eyebrows to rise.
“Quite a few,” I noted with good humor.
“Mmmm-hmmm. Better get started.”
I laughed through our first smooch then sank into the rhythm of his mouth. I liked the feel of his hands on my ribs. I liked how natural everything seemed between us. I liked—
“Maya…”
“Mmmm,” I mumbled, thinking he was just calling out my name.
But he wasn’t. “There’s somebody coming.” When my eyes flew open and our lips completely parted, Hawk questioned, in an obvious reference to the salesman walking toward us, “Do you want to car shop?”
“Uh…no.” I laughed in a mortified way.
“You better think of something quick then.” Hawk rolled down his window completely.
“Hi, there, folks. Can I interest you in something? Look at one of our Beetles? Maybe take a test drive?” Oh, Mr. VW Vegas definitely went to Classic Car Salesman School 101.
Ready for Hawk’s challenge, I spoke from across the gear shift. “Sorry. No. Definitely don’t need a car. We’re from out of town and just looking for a place to get some ice.” I almost laughed when Hawk swung his head toward me, obviously amused by my excuse.
The dejected salesperson answered nonetheless. “In just another block north”—he pointed that direction—“there’s a convenience store and gas station. They sell it. There are big freezers right outside the doors.”
“Ah, I knew we were close,” I flat-out lied. “Thanks. This one just needs to trust the GPS.” I mockingly rolled my eyes and shook my head at Hawk, giving the salesperson my old-married-couple routine.
“Sure you don’t want to look at a new one? Built-in GPS in the—”
Oh! I had to give the guy some credit. He did want a sale.
“No. No thanks,” I started, but was interrupted by the loudspeaker system requesting a salesperson to the main showroom.
After the salesman’s quick retreat, Hawk rolled up the window and burst out laughing. “Ice?”
“I thought you might appreciate that.”
“Didn’t realize it was your go-to line.”
“Only around you.” I smiled.
“Good.” Using his index finger, he touched my bottom lip and gently pulled it down. He then replaced his finger with his mouth, dropping his tongue inside and letting it sit there for a second before our tongues started playing with one another’s again.