I stayed in my room for three hours, ignoring all of the guys that came to check on me.
I felt drained.
I had cried for hours and I had nothing left. I felt empty, I felt used and I felt dirty and disgusting.
Would the feeling ever get any better?
I sniffed and rubbed my eyes, forcing myself to sit up right. I glanced at the cold plate of food that Carter had brought me and pushed it to the side.
"Come on, Daisy," I said to myself and stood up. "Stop being so damn pathetic." I grabbed a bundle of clothes and made my way into the bathroom and showered, glad to get rid of the strong hospital smell. I showered slowly and changed into a pair of long pyjamas, covering as much skin as I could. I then made my way back into Blake's room and stiffened when I saw him sprawled out asleep on the bed. I backed out of the room and jumped in fright when Eli walked out of mine.
"Take it," he said and rubbed his eyes tiredly, looking like he had just woken up. It was pretty late. "I'll crash downstairs."
"No-"
"I'm too damn tired to argue," Eli yawned. "It's your room, just sleep in it."
I swallowed and nodded. "Thanks," I muttered and he waved his hand dismissively and stumbled his way downstairs in his tired state. I made my way into my room and felt comfort when I crawled under my covers and fell asleep safe and alone.
"Daisy?" Joey called and knocked on the door to my bedroom. He cautiously poked his head round and smiled sheepishly.
"Can I come in?"
"I suppose," I shrugged, not looking up from my laptop.
"Can we talk?" Joey asked quietly.
"About?"
"Us," Joey said softly. "I don't want you to hate me."
"Why would I hate you?"
"I thought you did," Joey frowned. "Because I wanted to join the Agency and you didn't want me too."
I sighed and closed my laptop, pushing it to the side. "I don't hate you," I said. "I just wouldn't wish anyone to have this job."
"I like it."
"Wait until you start putting bullets in people," I said and raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't hate you, I promise. It doesn't mean I'm pleased you're here."
"I'm sorry," Joey said. "I just wanted us to get on good terms."
"It's me, when am I ever on good terms with anyone?" I asked and Joey chuckled.
"Touché," he said. "Blake is aware you're being very blunt with him."
"I would hope so, I've made it pretty obvious."
"Why?"
"Did you happen to fall asleep or zone out while Eli and me were tortured?" I said sarcastically. "We have Blake to thank for that and he's an ass so he doesn't deserve any respect from me."
"Oh, right," Joey coughed. "So we're good?"
"Yeah," I sighed. "We are."
Joey smiled brightly. "Good," he said and took a seat at the end of my book. "How are you?"
"I thought I said for people not to ask me that," I said.
"We're all worried about you," Joey said softly.
"I'm the same as I was when I came home last week," I shrugged. "I'm the same as I'll be for a while."
"James has been ringing us. He says you've been avoiding his calls."
"He is correct."
"Why?"
"Because I want to move on from what happened, not talk about it with him in hopes it will help. It won't," I shrugged.
"It might?"
"It won't," I shook my head.
Joey sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "You make it really hard for people to help you."
"Have you maybe thought that I don't want help?" I said.
"But you need it," Joey said quietly and I sent him a cold look just as Blake walked into my room.
"What do you want?" I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest.
"I'm here for your benefit, so be nice," Blake said and looked at Joey. "Can you leave?"
Joey looked at me, making sure I was okay with him going and I nodded. "It's fine, go. I'm glad we had this chat."
"Me too," Joey smiled and stood up and walked out.
"How are you?" Blake asked and kicked the door shut.
"Getting sick of that question," I said through gritted teeth. "What do you want, Blake? I don't particularly want to see you."
"Give me your hand," Blake said and I raised my eyebrows at him.
"Why?"
"Just do it."
"Why should I listen to you?"
"Because I have more power over you," Blake shrugged. "You may be Rob's daughter, but I'm in charge of our team."
"Actually, since our teams were put together you and Eli are joint leaders," I pointed out.
"Just give me your damn hand," Blake sighed. "Daisy, you're pissy at me, I get that, but I'm doing you a favour here."
I narrowed my eyes and pursed my lips. "Tell me why."
"Just trust that I'm not going to do anything that you won't like," Blake said. "Hand, now."
I slowly moved my hand out and watched Blake cautiously and he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small circular piece of metal with a button on. He moved it towards my wrist and held it above the silver bracelet that prevented me from accessing any private files on the computer and tracked my every technological move.
Blake pressed the button and suddenly the bracelet snapped open and fell to the ground. I looked up at Blake with wide eyes. "Why?"
"Let's just say I managed to persuade Rob to give you some more freedom," Blake shrugged. "You're welcome."
"Cheers," I muttered and crossed my arms back over my chest. "You can go now."
"How long are you going to be pissed at me for?" Blake sighed.
"For as long as I want too."
"You're damn stubborn," Blake muttered.
"I've been stabbed in the stomach, Blake, all I have is time," I said. "Don't expect us to be best buds any time soon."
Blake rolled his eyes and walked towards the door. He opened it, but stopped midway out. "Daisy," he said and glanced at. "I'm so fucking glad you're okay."
I sighed and nodded. I could see the pain in Blake's eyes. It was obvious that he thought I was going to die when it happened. We had known each other a long time and he wouldn't admit it, but he'd be pretty damn upset if I croaked. "Same," I said softly. "Goodbye, Blake."
"Up!" Blake yelled and walked burst into my room.
"Fuck," I groaned and rubbed my eyes. "Get out, you twat!"
"Get up," Blake said. "You've been hiding in this bloody room for too long and you've got to go to the Agency. I'm staging and intervention."
"Tell them to fuck off," I grumbled.
"It's a building, that's going to be quite difficult," Blake said and yanked my bed sheets away from me.
"Jesus, it's freezing!" I groaned. "Get the hell out!"
"Get the hell up," Blake ordered. "You've got to be in medical at 9am."
"I'm fine, I don't need to go," I said dismissively.
"You're also seeing James at 10, then you're helping out with the session Eli and I share. It's with the new recruits."
"I thought me getting stabbed in the stomach gave me a pass on that," l muttered.
"While you were recovering, but you're fine now," Blake shrugged. "You also need to get out of this room, you've been practically cooped up in here since the incident."
"I have not."
"You gave Jack a concussion when you threw your shoe at him when he tried to get you to come out yesterday," Blake said and raised his eyebrow. "You seriously need to get out."
"He deserved it," I said dismissively.
"Daisy, if you're not downstairs in half an hour I'll send Emma up here," Blake warned and then walked out of my room.
I sighed and sat up in my bed and checked my phone. I went onto the calendar and counted the weeks it had been since the incident. "Twelve," I murmured and chucked my phone onto my bed.
It had been twelve weeks and it wasn't getting any easier. Every day I woke up and saw the guys face and he haunted me while I slept.
No one could find the guy who had attacked me. It was like he had dropped off the grid. Gone.
I had refused to leave my room. I came out occasionally, for brief moments and then I retreated as quickly as I could. James had visited me at home, but it didn't seem like he was achieving anything.
Rob and Adam had also visited a few times. Rob's visits were brief, but the fact that he actually came was huge. I didn't let anyone get too close. I couldn't.
Beth had been a great help. She didn't ask questions, she didn't treat me like I was a broken china doll that needed fixing; she treated me exactly the same and that was what I needed.
I needed to forget, even though I knew it would be impossible.
I groaned as I climbed out of bed and forced myself into the shower. I inspected my stomach as I showered. I was a quick healer, so I didn't feel much pain from the wound, but it had left a nasty scar.
Once I was showered I dressed and grabbed my bag. Stashed inside was everything I needed. Pepper spray, flick knife...
I looked over to my bed and frowned, debating whether this was a good idea or not.
"Screw it," I muttered and walked over to my bed, lifting up the mattress to reveal the gun hidden underneath it. I took a deep breath and grabbed the gun, checking safety was on before shoving it in my bag. "Now, let's do this, Daisy. Put on your big girl shoes and a brave face. You can do this." I slung my bag over shoulder, shoved my trainers on and then walked to my door, gripping the handle tightly. "You're fine," I whispered, trying to fight the part of me that wanted to stay hidden in my room for the rest of my life. "You're fine." I pulled the door open and walked out into the hallway. It was silent, but I could hear laughter and talking from downstairs.
I gulped and gripped my bag tightly as I descended the stairs and I stood at the door of the lounge silently, half praying no one would realise me, and half hoping they would.
"Shit, look who's alive!" Mason gasped, causing all the heads in the room to turn to me.
"Are my eyes deceiving me?" Jack wondered and rubbed his eyes.
"Cut the shit," I said and rolled my eyes. I turned to Blake. "I'm here, happy?"
"Delighted," Blake said.
"Lets go," Eli spoke and stood up. He was soon followed by the new recruits and I sighed as I followed them outside. They all squeezed into the back of the car and I sat in the passenger seat, staring blankly out of the window.
I ignored everyone talking and went into my own little world. Not even Eli's shitty music could distract me.
Eli kept on staring. I hated it. It was the look I had been receiving from everyone. They were treating me like I was broken.
I was, but that didn't mean I wanted everyone looking at me like I was going to snap.
When Eli parked at the Agency the recruits all got out, but Eli waited and so did I.
"Spit it out," I said. "Whatever you're going to say. You've been looking at me the whole journey and I've got a short temper this morning."
"Only this morning?" Eli questioned.
"Don't push it," I warned.
"I'm not going to ask how you are-"
"Good."
"Not because you don't want me too, but because I already know the answer," Eli told me.
"Wonderful."