(Day 96/122 of the experiment)
Most of my experiment has passed, and it has prompted me to various thoughts. It's interesting to consider what exactly became the driving force behind my move forward? Was it some kind of tremendous effort of my will or just luck? Or maybe the desire to live differently than I did before? Or, after all, was it the Volvo S90? Or perhaps I was simply tired of the routine life and realized that it was a one-way street? After all, I had no family, interests, or friends; in my life, there was Richard, food, and work. And there was just no goal—small or global.
Counting today, I have four days until the new block, where I will be working on my career. I’m gradually looking at job openings and have even sent my resume to two companies. In the coming days, I want to catch up on the course as much as possible so that I can calmly focus on the job search thereafter.
I briefly went live on Instagram, and through interacting with my followers, I realized that many young, beautiful, and healthy women face one major problem—they don’t know what they want from life or simply don’t want anything at all. They just go with the flow—home, work, and, at best, the gym and a manicure. And many, like my "past self," just go to work and cover their basic needs—eat, drink, put something on, and sleep.
It seems to me that the core problem is that we are used to denying ourselves everything. My grandmother used to tell my sister and me in childhood: “as long as it’s not worse. We eat what we have, we’re not naked, and for that, we thank God.” And while at first, I tried to argue with her, proving that one can live better, later this mindset stuck with me so much that I began to believe it myself.
During that hour we communicated, I tried to explain to the girls that the main problems and blocks are in our heads. For example, I (I am only sharing my own experience because I understood and realized many things through it) always considered myself not very attractive. Just a typical gray mouse. And so did people think. Not because it was true, but because I projected this into the world.
But when I allowed myself to think differently and believe in my own beauty, people began to notice it too. Although nothing fundamentally changed—only my beliefs did.
Many viewers wrote that they cried during my live stream because I voiced what they had known deep down for a long time but were afraid to admit even to themselves.
In the evening, I wrote a huge post on my Instagram, where I once again articulated my realizations about self-esteem and the sense of self-worth.
(Day 97/122 of the experiment)
Every day I'm growing fonder of the bride role. I want to cook delicious food, take care of the home, discover new things to later discuss with Tristan. But the key is balance in everything. So after the morning rituals and family breakfast, I rushed to the gym and to meet with the girls – the assistant from the course and my friends, who will be guest experts.
We leisurely sip coffee and discuss the format in which the psychological consultations and online yoga training will take place. Suddenly, my phone starts loudly ringing. An unfamiliar number.
-Hello.
-Good day! Is this Cinderella? – I hear a pleasant but rather strict voice of a young woman.
-Yes, it's me.
-My name is Julia and I am the HR manager of the online publication "Women’s Gadgets." You sent us a resume for the journalist position. Are you still looking for a job?
-Yes, of course.
-Then we expect you tomorrow at 10:00 for an interview. I’ll say right away – there is a dress code in our office, so no mini skirts or shorts. And the interview will take at least 3-4 hours, so don’t plan anything until the evening. I’ll send the address later via SMS.
-Okay, thank you. See you tomorrow!
In response, there’s just a short beep. I didn’t imagine a women's website editorial office to be designed in pink tones and resembling light and tasty meringue. Well, tomorrow I’ll go and try my hand.
I told the girls about the unusual invitation for an unusual interview; they wished me luck and reminded me of one thing – I deserve a truly good job.
We agreed on the course plan, and now I’ll be detailing the outlines, the framework for recording videos, and creating the lessons themselves. Fortunately, I've almost overcome my fear of the camera, but a slight nervousness still lingers.
Tristan reacted warily to my story about the four-hour interview and asked me to keep him posted on how everything goes. He also said that if I have any doubts, I should voice them, and if my potential colleagues behave inappropriately, I should gather my things and leave.