(Day 119/122 of the experiment)
The road to a dream. Excitement. Shaking knees. The fear that it’s all just a dream.
But here I am, my fiancé, and the road – the road to Kherson, where my car awaits me. A Volvo S90 – a dream I’ve been longing for almost two years. A dream that just a year ago seemed unachievable and impossible. And now I'm going to pick up my own car in “metallic blue” and later tonight I will drive to the big city behind the wheel of my own dream.
With every kilometer we traveled, my tension grew. Just in case, I sent a text to May, to which she replied briefly: “You’re in for a surprise at the dealership.” And that made me even more anxious.
Here it is – the Volvo showroom. A large and beautiful building. And inside it stands my dream.
– Tristan, I’m so nervous.
– Cinderella, dear, everything will be fine. Just wait and see. You're here for your dream!
– Thank you for the support! But where is May?
My classmate’s phone was off. Maybe her battery died, and she’s waiting for me inside?
– Good day! We are glad to welcome you to the Volvo dealership in Kherson. My name is Kateryna, and I will be your consultant. – greeted us a young girl with a sincere smile.
– Good day! My name is Cinderella, and my friend May should be waiting for me here. We came for the S90 in “metallic blue.” May was supposed to send you the deposit the day before yesterday to reserve the car.
– Yes – Cinderella, we were waiting for you. May called the day before yesterday and asked us to reserve the car because you were abroad and couldn’t send us the advance. Come, I’ll show you your little gem.
Here it is. So beautiful, new, stylish, and modern. Leather interior, comfortable seats, a noble color. When I sat in the driver’s seat and took a deep breath, I felt the scent of luxury and home. I realized I was home. It was almost impossible for Tristan to pull me away from my dreams with his cold hands.
– What do you mean, May didn’t send the deposit and said Cinderella would come and settle the bill?
– Cinderella Bell – is that your fiancée’s name, right?
– Yes, that's her.
– Here it is. May said to reserve the S90 for Cinderella Bell, who's abroad and can only come the day after tomorrow.
With trembling hands, I almost blindly searched for May's number. Tears blurred my eyes, and there was a bitter taste of disappointment in my mouth. How could this happen? What does it all mean? Is this some kind of cruel joke?
With each ring, my heart raced faster.
– Hello, May, they’re telling me that you reserved the car in my name. What.. what should I do?
– Cinderella, did you really think you entered a fairytale? You snagged a great guy, started earning some money on your course, and everyone on Instagram is singing your praises for being so awesome. Let me bring you back down to earth, okay? What kind of free Volvo S90 are you expecting? I’ve divorced a cheating husband, lost a friend who only wanted my connections, gained ten kilos. And you think I'm going to help you – Miss Success and Fortune? No way! If you’re so successful, go buy that car for yourself, and don’t call me again.
Before I could say anything, I heard the short beeps of the phone disconnecting. I’d been fooled. My dream would remain just that – a dream. The prize for which I agreed to this crazy experiment turned out to be a mirage.
Not understanding anything and sobbing loudly, I apologized and ran out into the street. Tristan held me and said something, but I couldn’t comprehend. We arrived at some hotel. Everything felt foggy. Here I am in the shower, but I can’t even feel the temperature – I’m just standing there crying.
Tristan tries to give me tea. Now I’m lying in bed and don’t understand what’s happening at all. I came here hoping my big dream would come true. And now I'm curled up on the bed wishing it would all end.
When I opened my eyes, I saw Tristan gently stroking my hair. It turned out I had slept for three whole hours. The room smelled pleasantly of food. On the table, I saw a huge tray filled with various treats.
– Cinderella, dear, would you like to have dinner? You haven’t eaten anything except porridge in the morning.
– Tristan, I don’t want to.
– What if I told you there's a nice surprise waiting for you later?
– No, no, no, I’ve had enough surprises. May just pulled one on me – and hot, bitter tears streamed down my cheeks again.
– This will really be a nice surprise. Come on.
In my hotel bathrobe and barefoot, I went with Tristan. We took the elevator down to the first floor (our room is on the 12th, and I didn’t even notice when we checked in) and walked to the doors.
– Are you okay with this? – Tristan carefully blindfolded me and took my hand.
I felt the pleasant summer air and realized we were already outside. Holding Tristan's hand, I walked down the steps and heard, “Ready?”
In front of me stood my dream – the blue Volvo S90 with a huge white bow.
– Cinderella, this is your car. I love you and want you to cry only like this – from happiness.
He did it. My fiancé bought the expensive car I had dreamed of so much. I started crying and even pinched myself to make sure it wasn’t a dream. My dream came true and in the best way possible – I was reminded once again that people only change when they want to. May never respected me, and I was shocked when she offered a pair. But I am infinitely grateful to her. If it weren't for her, I would still be munching on pizza and washing it down with beer.
After such an emotional day, I had enough energy to take a drive around evening Kherson in my new car and have dinner in our hotel room.
(Day 120/122 of the experiment)
We returned home in two cars – Tristan in his, and I in my Volvo S90. After yesterday, I experienced such a whirlwind of emotions that I couldn’t fall asleep until I calmed my mind with meditation. And I started today’s morning with meditation on Instagram – I invited my followers and shared what helps me stay calm.
At home, Lilia and Ivan were waiting for us. Lilia was very worried yesterday when she learned about the situation with May. They had a cake and many colorful balloons in their hands.
- So? May you have smooth roads and interesting adventures! Congratulations on the realization of your dream, Cinderella!
We started hugging, and once again I felt a wild gratitude for everything I have. For my life, for friends, opportunities, chances, dreams, and goals. For the people who surround me, for the fact that I have everything to be happy. And it’s not about money or even about the Volvo S90. It’s about the attitude towards life.
If you think about it, I could have been happy even before, but I just didn’t want to. I liked the swamp I was sitting in. I didn’t have to do anything at all. And when you do nothing, it’s much easier to blame everyone for your own troubles. Parents, who supposedly raised you wrong, a sister who hurt you in childhood, people who didn’t accept you as you are. But if you think about it, you can come to conclusions: parents raised and loved you the best way they could, your sister hurt you unconsciously – she just wanted to be happy again in her own way, people didn’t accept you because you didn’t accept yourself. You always felt bad, ugly, unworthy, stupid, a horrible daughter and friend. And when you project negativity into the world, it returns it to you. So to speak, the law of the boomerang.
For me, personally, the hardest part was to start. To start thinking differently – to allow myself the very thought that people are not bad, men are not scoundrels, and women are not bitches. To start exercising when all you want is to drink beer with chips. To start sharing my story with strangers on social media when deep down I think that no one cares about my life. To start new relationships after a negative experience in the past. To start a new life without burning all the bridges and remembering all the good and bad that came before.
I also realized that I missed Sofi. And even though she doesn’t fit into my “ideal sister” frame, I love her just the way she is. And I really want to hug her and tell her that I love her. I want to feel the warmth of family and share my feelings.
The penultimate day of the experiment
I spent yesterday evening in Tristan's arms in front of the computer, all in tears. My conversation with the family lasted almost three hours. Initially, we talked to Sofi. I didn’t expect such an honest conversation.
We candidly confessed to each other all the grievances that had prevented us from moving forward and asked for forgiveness. Then we shared all the news we were unaware of due to the lack of communication. I told the story about May, and Sofi said that her husband left her because of her silly character. She shared with me that she had been going through a crisis in her relationship with her husband for a long time and that our quarrel had occurred during that tough period of her life. Now they are seeing a psychologist and starting a new life from a clean slate. And my sister even admitted that it was I who inspired her to see a psychologist and try to rebuild her relationship with her husband instead of getting a divorce. Even though 300 km separated us, I felt such warmth and love that I had never received from my sister, even when we were close.
After the reconciliation, Sofi and I called our grandmother and parents. We told them about our rapprochement and asked how they were doing. We also shared plans for a family weekend – when we would all gather together in New York.
And when late at night we hung up the virtual receiver, I started to cry. And these were not tears of sadness, resentment, or regret. These were tears of total relief. Tears that showed me that I did everything right. Tears that symbolized my reunion with my family.
I spent today working – personal consultations, checking homework of the course participants, and Instagram. Until I opened my laptop in the office, I didn’t realize how much I had missed it in just a few days. But when I fully immersed myself in work, I felt again that I was in my place.
Also, today I had the most challenging consultation of my practice. My client was Sofi. We talked for two hours about her self-esteem and perception of reality. And deep down, I was sure that my sister would want to end our conversation at any moment. But at the end of the meeting, I received sincere gratitude and a request to book her for the next session.
In the evening, I invited Tristan to ride around the evening city.
The last day of the experiment
Today is the last day of my experiment. Over these four months, I have experienced a plethora of emotions and events. It seems like it was a small life. But that’s only an illusion. Because each day we live is indeed a small life. A life that we create every moment, every minute.
All the difficulties that initially seemed too complex, I managed to resolve. All the new habits that I hated, I learned to love when I tried. All the grievances that sat in my soul for almost 30 years vanished as if washed away by water under the scorching sun. All the complaints to the world somehow transformed into inexpressible gratitude.
And everything that is so necessary for happiness has always been with me. And so it is for every person. You also have everything for happiness. Because all it takes is a sincere heart and the desire to be happy.
I wish that one day, like I did, you wake up and feel happiness. Happiness for being alive and healthy. For having the ability to read, speak, write, and enjoy every moment of your being.
With faith in you and gratitude,
Cinderella