Samantha
When I woke up the next morning, I briefly wondered if I’d died and gone to hell.
That’s how shitty I felt.
My head was throbbing, and my stomach churned.
I thought I was going to be sick, and I struggled to build up the energy to even get out of bed.
At length, I forced myself to open my eyes. Flinching at the muted sunlight coming in through my thin curtains, I slowly pushed myself so I was sitting upright. Slipping my feet to the floor, I sat on the edge of the mattress for a moment as I fought not to vomit on my floor.
After several seconds, I felt stable enough to stand, and I staggered to my bathroom. I reached the toilet just in time and emptied my stomach into the porcelain bowl.
It took me a while to feel stable enough to push back up to my feet. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, then went back into my room and got dressed.
Feeling somewhat normal again, I made my way downstairs to the kitchen and started brewing a pot of coffee. I needed to finish sobering up before my parents showed up with Henry.
Once my coffee was ready, I poured a mug and sat down at the table, blowing on it to cool it down.
My mind began to wander, and I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about the night before and of Ryan.
I was furious with him, and with myself for letting things escalate the way they had.
I couldn’t believe he kissed me, and I couldn’t believe I kissed him back.
It’s about the stupidest thing I could’ve done. I risked opening a door for him that I’d sworn I’d always keep closed.
I probably should have thanked him for pulling away and stopping things from progressing further, but I was too angry at him.
I shouldn’t be surprised that he was the one to pull away first. That seemed to be what he’s good at: running.
As I was sitting and fuming over thoughts of Ryan rejecting me once again, the doorbell suddenly rang, making me jump and nearly spill my coffee.
I furrowed my brow in confusion. My parents were a little earlier than I’d expected.
Standing, I hurried through the house to the front door and answered it without hesitation. When I found Ryan standing on my front step, I let out a yelp of shock.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded to know.
“We need to talk,” he told me.
I let out a humorless bark of laughter. “I don’t think so. I think we’ve said all we need to say to each other.”
With that, I tried to slam the door shut, but he stopped it by shoving his foot in the way.
“Move your foot!” I exclaimed.
He shook his head, his expression stubborn. “No. I’m not leaving until you talk to me, Sam.”
I tried to shove his foot out of the way but I couldn’t budge him.
“Go away!” I snapped.
“No,” he stated firmly. “I just want to talk, Sam. We need to clear the air between us or we’ll never have any kind of peace. I’m not just thinking of us. I’m thinking of Jason and Henry and what’s best for them.”
Damn him.
He knew exactly which buttons to push, and I hated him for it.
Still, I could see that he wasn’t moving an inch unless I gave in and spoke to him. I didn’t want him to be there when Henry got home, so logically, the easiest way to get rid of him was to give him what he wanted.
Releasing a frustrated sigh, I said, “Fine. We can talk. But you leave as soon as we’re done.”
“I can agree to that.”
I opened the door and let him inside. Silently, I led him down the hall to the kitchen.
“Have a seat,” I murmured. “You want coffee?”
“No, thanks,” he replied, sitting down at my kitchen table. “I’m good.”
I sat back in my chair across from him and picked up my mug, taking a long sip as I eyed him over the rim.
Setting my coffee back down, I met his gaze and bluntly asked, “What do you want to talk about?”
He looked around my kitchen for a moment. “You have a nice place here. You seem to have done all right for yourself.”
I click my tongue in annoyance. “Yeah, I’ve worked my ass off for all this. That’s not what we’re talking about, are we?”
He scowled. “I’m giving you a compliment. Jesus.”
I folded my arms and sniffed. “I don’t need your compliments, thanks.”
“I’m trying to be civil. Can’t we at least be that?”
“What did you come here to say, Ryan? Say it, so we can get this over with.”
His jaw clenched, and I could see he was struggling to hold his temper in. I sat and waited, genuinely curious about what he wanted to talk about, though I’d never admit that out loud.
Several seconds passed, and I was about to snap at him to get on with it or get out when he blurted, “I’m sorry for last night.”
I blinked. “What?”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I kissed you and then left you like that. I shouldn’t have done that. I panicked, but that’s not an excuse.”
I stared at him, taken aback and unable to come up with a response. The last thing I’d expected from him was an apology. I wasn’t sure what to say.
“Maybe I don’t want this to work,” I spat. “You ever think of that?”
He clenched his jaw. I noticed that he did that whenever he was irritated and was trying to bite his tongue and not say something stupid.
“You’re being stubborn for no reason,” he said in a low tone. “You’re determined to hate me, and nothing I do will persuade you from that. Only you can choose to actually give me a chance.”
I didn’t say anything in response. I couldn’t, really. He was right, and I hated him for it. Or maybe I didn’t hate him, per se. I wasn’t sure. My mind was all jumbled and confused. Being so close to him was making it hard to remember all the reasons I needed to keep despising him.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I told him after a few moments. “If that’s all you want, then you need to go.”
“That’s far from all I want,” he growled.
“Then what else do you want?”
Before I realized what he was doing, he cupped my face in both his hands and pulled me in for a searing kiss.
I lost my breath and gasped.
His tongue swept past my lips to tangle with mine.
I clung to him, my fingers curling into his shirt.
All rational thought left my mind, and I could only focus on what my body was feeling.
Heat and need coursed through me, and I seemed to melt in his arms.
How did this keep happening?
How did I go from fighting with him to falling into his arms over and over again?
I must have been the weakest woman in the whole damn world.
Suddenly, I heard the front door open and all-too-familiar squeal.
“Mama! Where are you?”
My eyes widened, and I shoved Ryan away from me. He looked as startled as I was.
My parents had arrived with Henry.