She clicked a button on the remote, and the cartoon figures on the TV screen froze. Henry didn’t protest as Sam led him to the couch. I followed them, and the three of us settled on the cushions together. Henry sat between us, but I felt as though I were the one being boxed in. I didn’t want to screw this up, and despite Sam’s assurances, I was still terrified Henry wouldn’t be excited to find out who I was.
The boy looked between us, a curious gleam in his eye.
“Am I in trouble?” he asked.
Sam quickly shook her head. “Oh, no, sweetheart. You’re not. I promise.”
“Okay.” Henry nodded, his worries forgotten. “What do you want to talk about, then?”
Sam shot me a look and a nervous smile. I gulped, my heart hammering as I gave her a quick nod. She turned her gaze back down to Henry.
“Do you remember what I’ve told you about your daddy?” she asked.
Henry blinked and nodded. “You told me he had to go away before I was born, but that he loved me very much. He was big and strong and looked just like me.”
My lips parted in surprise as I stared at Sam. I hadn’t thought about what Sam might have told Henry about me, but I wouldn’t have guessed it was anything favorable. Yet, despite how angry she’d been with me, she’d tried to describe me in a decent light to our son.
I did not deserve this woman, and my love for her only grew stronger.
Sam smiled softly and brushed her fingers through Henry’s hair. “Yes, and I also said that someday, if he was able to, he’d come back to see you. You remember that?”
Henry nodded. “Yeah. You said maybe when I was older that I’d meet him.”
“Well, what if I said you didn’t have to wait? That you could meet him now?”
Henry’s eyes widened, and the look of excitement that crossed his features made my chest ache. He was trying to hide just how eager he was to know more, but he was just a kid and couldn’t control himself as well as he might have liked. I felt an intense mixture of guilt and eagerness. Guilt, obviously, at not being around for Henry so far, but eagerness to make up for lost time.
“Can I really meet him, Mama?” Henry gasped. “Really, really?”
“You already have,” Sam told him softly.
Henry frowned, clearly confused. “I have?”
Sam nodded, then tilted her chin toward me. “Henry, Ryan is your dad.”
Henry’s eyes widened, and he turned to stare up at me.
“You…you’re my daddy?” he asked in an awestruck whisper.
I swallowed, momentarily unable to respond. He was gazing at me with such hope and wonder, it stole my breath.
I slowly nodded. “Yeah, buddy, I am. Is that okay with you?”
He didn’t say anything right away, which sent a jolt of anxiety pulsing through me.
After a beat, though, his lips curled into a wide, bright smile, and he declared, “Yes! It’s okay! I like that you’re my daddy. You’re nice and fun, and I like playing with you.”
Tears filled my eyes so quickly that I was barely able to hold them back. “I like playing with you, too, Henry. I’m glad you’re happy I’m your dad.”
The little boy scrunched up his nose and furrowed his brow before asking, “Why did you leave? Why’d you go away for so long?”
A part of me knew this question was coming. Henry was an observant kid, and he wouldn’t just let it go that I hadn’t been around for any part of his life so far. I wasn’t sure what to say, though. I didn’t want him to think I didn’t care, or that it was his fault in any way, but I also didn’t want it to seem like I was blaming Sam.
“Your daddy didn’t know about you,” Sam said, running her fingers down Henry’s cheek. “He’d have come back sooner if he knew you were here waiting for him.”
Henry looked back up at her with a confused frown. “Why didn’t he know about me?”
Sam released a long sigh. “I didn’t tell him, sweetie. I kept you a secret from him, and that was selfish of me. I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I don’t understand,” Henry murmured.
I placed a hand on Henry’s shoulder and spoke before Sam did. “It’s a complicated grownup thing, pal. You’ll be able to understand it better when you’re older, but for now, just know that your mom and I love you very, very much and neither of us are going anywhere again. We’re going to be a family from now on.”
“We are?” Henry gasped. “You’re not going to leave again?”
I shook my head and smiled. “No, buddy, I’m not going to leave again. I promise.”
He stared at me for a moment, as if trying to decide to believe me or not.
Then, seemingly making up his mind, he launched himself into my arms and hugged me tight.
I was startled at first and froze, but slowly, I melted for him and returned his hug. I held him tight and buried my nose in his hair, taking his scent into my memory.
I looked up and met Sam’s eyes. She was fighting back tears as she watched us, her smile brilliant. My heart swelling more than I thought possible, I held Henry and gazed at the woman I loved.
The moment was perfect. So perfect that for a moment I worried it was only a dream. If that were the case, it was one I never wanted to wake up from. When I’d first thought of returning home, I’d been filled with dread and regret. At that moment, sitting with the family I’d never expected to have but now couldn’t imagine living without, I realized this was where I’d always belonged.