I glanced up at him to see his reaction, and he looked like he was going to be sick.
“Is…is Ryan Henry’s father?” he asked in a broken whisper.
I swallowed and looked away from him. Tears blurred my vision, but I fought not to let them fall.
“Yes,” I admitted.
“My God.” Jason sounded stunned and a more than a little hurt. “Jesus, Sam, why didn’t you ever tell me?”
I wrapped my arms around my torso and hugged myself tight. “I was heartbroken and confused. Embarrassed. When he left without a word, I couldn’t face it. I wanted to forget all about that night, but then, I wound up pregnant. By that point, I was too humiliated to admit it was him, so I made up the whole story about hooking up with someone else. I’m sorry, Jason, I really am, but I was scared and I didn’t know how to handle things.”
A tear escaped the corner of my eye. I quickly wiped it away, but I couldn’t look at him.
I felt like I’d just ripped open my chest and pulled out my heart. This secret was one I’d held onto for so long that I wasn’t sure what to do now that it was out there in the open. I waited for him to respond. To say something. Anything.
Suddenly, Jason grabbed me and pulled me into tight hug.
“I’m sorry, Sam,” he murmured as he squeezed me to his chest. “I’m so sorry you’ve been going through all that alone. I love you so much, you know that? You and Henry both. You are two of the most important people in the world to me.”
I blinked, surprised, but I melted into his hug and clung to him. I soaked in his love and forgiveness, and I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer.
A sob broke past my lips as I began to cry into my brother’s shoulder.
He held me and rubbed my back as all the pain and heartbreak from the past seven years seemed to come pouring out of me at once.
It was a relief, honestly. I’d been so burdened by that secret that finally telling someone felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders.
It took a little bit of time for me to finally calm down. When I was reduced to nothing more than sniffles and hiccups, I lifted my head up to meet his gaze.
He appeared sympathetic and ran a hand over my hair, just like he’d done when we were kids. I felt an instant wave of comfort, and the corners of my mouth twitched into a small smile.
“Feel a little better?” he softly asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, I do. Thanks.”
He ran his hands over my shoulders before cupping my face in both his hands and giving me a quick peck on the forehead. Dropping his hands, he held my gaze and released a long breath.
“So, do you want Ryan and Henry to meet?”
The question gutted me. It wasn’t something I’d ever let myself really think about before. It made me feel all that hurt and heartbreak like a fresh wound again. I knew it wasn’t fair to keep Henry away from his dad, but I was still so angry and bitter toward Ryan. I didn’t want to give him the unique happiness that came with being Henry’s parent.
I shook my head. “Yes…I’m just not sure how to go about it. Everything is so messed up. I don’t want to do anything until after the wedding. It’s too complicated.”
He looked surprised at that. “Really? You think waiting is a good idea?”
“Really. Ryan walked out on me once and broke my heart. I’m not going to risk the same thing happening to Henry. I need to make sure when they meet, Ryan understands he can’t leave Henry behind.”
Jason appeared hesitant before saying, “Are you sure about that, Sam? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m furious with the guy, but Ryan has missed out on seven years with Henry. Don’t you think it’s a little cruel to make him wait?”
I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it. It was selfish of me, but I didn’t want to face Ryan until I was confident I could handle the confrontation. I wanted Henry to meet his dad, but I was scared to give Ryan a foothold into my life.
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “But I don’t know what else to do. I need more time to think. To make a plan that works for all three of us.”
Jason didn’t appear convinced by my reasoning. “I really think it’d be better if you got this all figured out right away. Just clear the air and move forward….”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore!” I exclaimed. “This is my decision, Jason, and I’ll deal with whatever consequences come my way, okay?”
Jason gazed at me for several moments with a hopeless expression, but then, he sighed and nodded.
“All right,” he murmured. “You’re right. It’s totally your call.”
“You have to promise you won’t tell Henry about Ryan,” I insisted. “I don’t want him getting worked up and confused over this until I know how to explain it to him.”
Again, he appeared reluctant, but he said, “All right, I promise I won’t say anything to Henry about Ryan. But what are you going to do about Ryan, anyway? Chances are that he’s going to try and talk to you again, or maybe even attempt to meet Henry. How are you planning on stopping that from happening?”
“Don’t worry,” I said through gritted teeth. “I’ll take care of Ryan. He won’t be a problem. I promise.”