Derek's POV
Ever since I learned about Tabitha's pregnancy, I had been in constant agony.
I suppressed the beast within me hard, afraid that my loss of control would harm her.
However, the anger and jealousy in my chest continued to grow, almost reaching the point of exploding.
I asked myself over and over again, "Why am I not the father?
"If she were pregnant with my baby, I wouldn't have to suffer all this."
However, no matter how brutal it was, the truth was the truth. I had to face it.
Alvin helped me bandage the wound on my arm while comforting me. "Alpha Derek, calm down and please don't harm yourself again."
I responded with a bitter smile, "Alvin, what would you do if you were in my shoes?"
He remained silent for a moment and then said, "Alpha Derek, I don't have a mate yet. Thus, it's impossible for me to imagine what you're suffering now. I'm sorry that I can't be of any help."
I was like a fatigued driver on a highway, which meant a single bit of negligence could easily lead to fatalities.
So Alvin dared not give me any advice. Also, he couldn't.
The main reason Tabitha and I had reached where we were right now was primarily because of Elena.
Even though Elena was so unbearable, she was after all the daughter of my former Beta, whom I had been searching for and feeling indebted to for many years. Plus, she was Randall's sister.
Yet as long as Elena was between us, Tabitha would never forgive me.
"But what I want to say is that Tabitha had already lost a child. It took her a long time to heal herself. She always wants to be a mom. Her baby is her life. If you harm her baby, I'm afraid..." Alvin's words made my heart tighten.
I surely knew that. I had just learned from Joanna how much Tabitha had suffered during that period of time.
I knew she cared about the baby more than anything or anyone in the world.
"But I couldn't bear the thought of her bearing someone else's illegitimate child. If I didn't deal with it soon, as the child grew little by little, I would be in constant agony every second of the day, as it is solid evidence of Tabitha's betrayal."
Alvin patted the back of my hand and said, "Alpha Derek, calm down. Can't you try to accept the baby?"
I looked at him in surprise.
He continued to console me, "Think about it, Alpha Derek. Tabitha and you have already rejected each other. She is now single again and considering she was betrayed and hurt by you, it actually makes sense that she seeks shelter from someone else."
Alvin cautiously glanced at me.
I asked with a furrowed brow, "Was I really so mean to her before?"
"Yes." He nodded.
"So, I deserve what I get," I said self-deprecatingly.
"Alpha Derek, that's not what I meant. I just wanna say that what's done cannot be undone. The only thing you could do is accept it and try to improve the current situation. Just try to ease your relationship with Tabitha."
Alvin made his point quite clear.
I knew deep down that if I couldn't accept this child, there would be no chance of salvaging my relationship with Tabitha.
I lay back on the chair, letting Alvin bandage me.
He kept his mouth shut, probably because he knew that I needed some time to sort this out.
I could see how hard he tried to change my opinion.
If I couldn't convince myself to accept the pup, I would hurt her sooner or later.
I knew deep inside me there was a wild beast, craving to destroy and longing to unleash all my pain and anger.
But as Alpha, I had to control it. I wouldn't allow it to harm Tabitha, even if that meant I had to endure endless torment.
I then glanced at Alvin, noticing the worry in his eyes.
I could tell that he, though as an onlooker, was sweating it for me and Tabitha. And I was grateful.
I silently prayed in my heart, hoping that things would smooth out for Tabitha and me.
As I opened my eyes, I darted my gaze to my injured arm once again. If this continued, I might end up becoming a complete lunatic.
Not only would I hurt myself, but I would also hurt others.