Christmas Eve dawned clear and bright, the light snowfall from the night before left the whole ranch dusted in a sparkling blanket. Lenora was worn out but happy as she made the final breakfast for her departing guests. After arranging the trays with the French press, maple-pecan scones and hot apple preserves, as well as frittata of goat cheese and chives, she made her way through the snow to the bunkhouses. Her days had started at 5 am since her visitors arrived. The early mornings just meant she was alone with the horses and the beautiful mountains before anyone else was awake. If this was her way of saving the ranch from the doom of being parceled off and sold to build mansions, then she would get up even earlier and never complain.
As soon as she knocked on the bunkhouse door, Jennifer Reynolds opened it and welcomed her into the spacious foyer.
“We’ve all had such a marvelous time here at Bear Dance Ranch. I really hope that you will have us back someday soon,” Jennifer said.
“Oh, yes. Please do come back,” Lenora said. “And if you wouldn’t mind telling your friends about us as well, we would really appreciate it.”
Jennifer turned and gave her husband a quick look.
“Well, actually,” Jennifer said. “I’m a travel writer for Vente Magazine, and I wanted to do a story on your ranch. The timing seemed right, so I brought the whole family with me for a pre-Christmas trip. I really, really loved the ranch, and your family and the amazing food. You should be a chef in New York City. Do you know how well you could do with all this clean-eating, organic stuff?”
“Thank you!” Lenora replied. “The article will help us so much, and I’m so glad you enjoyed my cooking. I used to doubt my ability, but coming out to this ranch has saved me, as well as my passion for cooking. And so you see, even if I went to New York it wouldn’t be the same. I owe everything to this ranch and the people on it, and so I’ll stay here and cook.”
“It’s so refreshing to meet someone as dedicated to what they love as you are,” Jennifer said.
Back inside the ranch kitchen, Lenora poured herself a cup of coffee and added a dash of vanilla and coconut oil. Annie appeared around the doorway with Clay and Byron behind her.
“Looks like our guests had a great time,” Annie said.
“Yeah, they really did,” Byron replied grinning.
He came over and kissed Lenora on top of her head before picking up a scone and giving her a wink. Lenora was so happy and surprised; she put her hand on top of her head to feel where her uncle had kissed her.
“Oh, man. We have a dude ranch,” Clay said.
“Whatever it takes,” Annie said. “Now eat and then out. Because Lenora and I have a whole Christmas dinner to put together.”
By one o’clock in the afternoon Annie and Lenora had a pineapple-glazed ham in the oven. They also had prepared a sweet potato casserole and a vat of cauliflower mashed potatoes. They also had roasted brussel sprouts with an avocado oil glaze, three pies and two dozen dinner rolls.
Byron entered the kitchen with a big smile and Jesse at his heels. Both looked hungry and a little frosty from the wind.
“How about I head to town,” Byron said. “And pick up your friend Liz?”
Lenora realized Liz’s plane would be landing in just two hours. How had the day gotten so busy?
“That would be amazing,” Lenora said. “There’s still a lot to do for dinner.”
“We’ll head out now,” Byron said. “Clay’s stripped the sheets in the bunkhouse. And I think he’s even vacuuming. Just help with the tractor when he takes hay out to the heifers, please.”
“Of course I will,” Lenora said. She smiled, thinking of Clay doing laundry.
At ten minutes till five o’clock, Lenora abandoned the kitchen. Everything was finished or nearly so. In her room, she sat for just a moment to enjoy the peace of the setting sun out her bedroom window. She was exhausted but so happy. This Christmas was proving to be so much cheerier than the previous one. For a brief moment she went back to that gray day a year earlier. She saw herself sitting on the couch in her mother’s empty house, hitting reject on the calls from her worried friends. The day had slipped past as if on some kind of horrible slow loop.
She realized that was in the past, but she felt like if she did not look back from time to time she might take all of the new joy and people in her life for granted. Never again did she want to take for granted how precious every second with those she cared about truly was.
As Lenora came down the stairs, she saw that Amos had already arrived. He had taken off his hat, and he smiled as soon as he saw her making her way down the staircase. Lenora wore a soft, cream dress with a green angora sweater over the top. Before she could lose her nerve, she gave Amos a quick hug. He looked surprised and pleased. Just then the door opened, and Liz came through with her glowing skin and huge smile. She was followed by Rosa and her husband Landon, then finally Clay, Byron and Jesse.
Hugging and kissing ensued; it seemed that Rosa and Liz were already hitting it off royally. Annie ushered everyone into the living room, and bottles of red wine and Byron’s favorite bourbon were opened. The doorbell rang again and this time Jesse’s parents, the closest neighbors to the south of Bear Dance Ranch, were at the door with more wine and a very thick pecan pie.
“I can’t believe how beautiful it is out here,” Liz said, once they finally had a moment alone in the kitchen.
“I know,” Lenora said. “I still wake up sometimes and have to pinch myself.”
“You look awesome,” Liz said. “I really, really mean that. You look like you’re actually happy again.”
“That’s funny you would say so, because when I was upstairs getting ready I was remembering how bad last Christmas was. Just how sad and lost I felt. I’m really, really grateful that I made my way out here. Oh, and get this; the lady who brought her family out to stay at the ranch this last week, is a writer for Vente. Can you believe it? We’re getting a write up! Bear Dance Ranch is getting a write up in Vente!”
“Wow!” Liz said. “That’s awesome.”
“I know, I can’t believe it. I just really want to make this whole guest ranch thing work. I want to do my part, you know?”
“Yeah, for sure,” Liz said. “So, I hate to change the subject, but is that the Clay that you told me about?” She nodded towards Clay, who was laughing and telling some horse story to Amos, Byron and Jesse’s father.
“Yeah, that’s him,” Lenora said.
“Wow,” Liz said. “He’s a hunk. You kept talking about how he rode horses well and all that stuff. But you never said that he was so sexy!”
Liz was starring; Lenora could not blame her. Clay looked amazing; he wore a black, fleece shirt with a blue button up underneath. His hair was free of a hat and brushed the collar of his shirt. It was impossible, even in the two shirts he wore, to avoid seeing the strength in his broad shoulders, the tapered waist that led down to his rider’s butt and long, lean legs. Just then, Rosa appeared.
“Who are you two ogling?” Rosa said. “Oh, right. Clay. He’s easy on the eyes for sure.”
“So is your husband, Rosa,” Liz said. “I think I need to move out here. Since getting off the plane, every man I meet looks like he just walked out of the pages of GQ: Western Edition, like he could kill a bear and build a fire with a piece of flint!”
As if realizing he was the object of their discussion, Clay turned and came into the kitchen. He held a tumbler with a fingers’ worth of amber liquid. His eyes were alive with the fire and dancing shadows in the room.
“Hi Ladies,” Clay said.
He was the gentleman and took Liz’s hand and smiled his full, white grin at her. Lenora was pleased to see that even man-savvy Liz looked a bit like a deer caught in the headlights as he held her hand.
Just then the doorbell rang again, and Lenora had a feeling it was Crystal. It was. Annie shepherded Clay’s ex-wife into kitchen.
“Lenora invited me,” Crystal said quickly, almost defensively, as she pulled off her coat.
Clay turned to Lenora with his eyes full of questions. Lenora smiled and took Crystal’s coat and scarf.
“I’ll explain later,” she said quietly to Clay as she passed him.
Liz followed Lenora to hang up the coat.
“Let me guess, that’s the ex-wife?” Liz said. “You invited her?”
“Yeah. Look at her,” Lenora said. “Why does she have to be so gorgeous? And need so much from him?”
“Dinner!” Annie called.
Lenora tried to quiet her thoughts and began pulling dishes out of the oven. She really hoped Clay would be pleased she had invited Crystal. Their hands met as she handed him the glazed ham. She felt the familiar jolt and held his eyes for a brief moment.
Once everyone had filled their plates, they returned to the large table. Byron had added both of the leaves to enlarge it enough to fit all their guests.
“Thanks everyone,” Byron said. “For coming to Bear Dance Ranch tonight to help us all celebrate Christmas. I really want to thank my wife, Anne, and my niece, Lenora, for making all of this amazing food. You both have outdone yourselves. You’re spoiling us rotten. Merry Christmas!”
Lenora blushed and looked down at her plate. When she looked up, Clay was watching. He winked, and gave her one of those lopsided smiles that she loved so much.
The food was good, the wine wonderful and having Liz and Rosa at the ranch made the evening perfect. On top of that, to have Christmas dinner with her own father… how life was changing. Lenora knew she was smiling uncontrollably, but she could not help it. Amos sat on her left and his voice was intimate and warm as they spoke.
“How was it having your first guests at the ranch?” Amos said.
“Actually, really good,” Lenora said. “They loved the place and said they would come back. Mrs. Reynolds writes for a travel blog and so I think we will get some good publicity from the stay. Clay was pretty patient as a trail guide, even though I know it’s not his life’s aspiration.”
“That’s great news,” Amos said. “I’m proud of you for having a strong vision for this ranch. How’s that horse of yours getting along?”
How wonderful it was to have a father who asked about her horse, she thought. Smiling, she took a bite of brussel sprouts; they were tender and had a slight tang from the fresh rosemary and avocado oil she had used to roast them.
“Thanks for having me over. You’re one hell of a cook. And it’s pretty nice being with family for Christmas,” Amos said. He looked down at his plate and shuffled his fork from hand to hand as he spoke.
A lump formed in her throat; part joy at the budding relationship with her father, and part sorrow to realize that, as she moved forward, the memory of her mother changed and shimmered differently in her mind. The future was full of surprises and somehow that made the past a little more bearable, she thought, even as it shifted.
By the time pie was served with coffee, everyone had moved to the arm chairs around the fire. Clay and Byron had brought out their guitars and Jesse’s father had a harmonica. Soon, lively country classics filled the ranch house. As the evening wound down, they played “Silent Night,” and Lenora and Annie sang along.
After catching herself yawning for the second time, Lenora left the group to put the pies away. Clay followed her into the kitchen.
“I can get it. Enjoy yourself,” She urged, trying to take the dirty dishes from his hands.
“Don’t be silly, I can help,” Clay said.
They put food away in the refrigerator and stacked dishes in the sink. Sounds of “Jingles Bells,” and uproars of laughter came from the other room.
“Thank you for inviting Crystal,” Clay said.
“Sure, no problem. You know I went to visit her a little while back?”
“Really? No, I didn’t know that,” Clay said. “Why?”
“Well,” Lenora said. “I guess to get to know her better. I know I overreacted that first night she showed up here at the ranch. I’m still sorry about that. I’m starting to realize that my whole reaction had everything to do with me and my past. And, well, really not much at all to do with you and Crystal.”
He stopped rinsing dishes and turned to look at her, his face more earnest than she had seen him before. She set down the casserole dish and met his eyes, even though her own were a little blurred by tears.
“I guess I should have told you that I still took care of her,” Clay said. “I would have never slept with her after our camping trip.” He looked down at the soapy water. “I would have reacted just like you did if it had been your ex that showed up. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s just that at the time I was still so raw from my divorce,” Lenora said. “From my mom.”
She waved her hands in the air and felt the tears really prick her eyelids. Blinking quickly, she leaned against the sink to look out at the clear night. Stars and half-moon lit the fields of pure white.
“I’m sorry. I really, really want you to trust me again,” Clay said. “I wish I could go back and change a few of my actions. I wish I could have seen how this would affect us.”
He reached out and touched her shoulder. His hand felt warm and alive with all the electricity Lenora remembered. She turned from the window into his arms; it was like coming home after a long trip. He sighed as she laid her head against his chest. He brushed his hand up her neck, under her hair. His finger sent shocks of pleasure through her whole body. She looked up at him knowing she toyed with fire. He had been waiting, as soon as their eyes locked he bent and kissed her. She responded by kissing him back; that was all the permission he needed. He deepened the kiss, devouring her lips. His tongue was strong and fast as it stroked through her mouth. She could not breathe and grasped his arms, enjoying the movement of his biceps under her hands. His hands reached down and cupped her buttocks before lifting her up so that she was straddling his waist. With her in his arms, he turned and perched her on the sink. Her skirt hiked up, and his emboldened lips kissed down her neck. He pulled her sweater free from her shoulders and exposed her bare skin, then lipped his way along her arms and collarbone. Lenora was lost in his touch, unabashed as she threw her head back and enjoyed the play of his tongue across her body.
“Um, wow, sorry.”
Reality came back with a rush. Lenora pulled her sweater back up her arms, her face on fire. Clay let her slip to the ground and turned shielding her from a laughing Rosa and Liz.
“Get a room, you two,” Rosa said. “Or at least go upstairs.”
“Sorry, it was the wine,” Lenora said.
“Really?” Clay said. “Just the wine.”
“Yes. Um, no,” Lenora replied. “I don’t know.”
She was flustered, confused and a little angry to have been caught by her friends. She had let her guard down. It was easy to keep everything friendly between herself and Clay until they spoke so openly. All her buried feelings had risen quickly to the surface with his frank words.
She straightened her dress and walked past Clay, trying to resist meeting his eyes. He touched her arm, and she turned. His eyes were full of questions.
“The party isn’t over yet,” Lenora said. “Let’s have another drink.”
Out in the living room, the party definitely was still swinging along. Annie was dancing with Amos and both were pretty light on their feet. Liz and Lenora sat down on the long couch. Landon grabbed Rosa as soon as they entered the room and pulled her into the dance. Clay was somewhere behind them, and Lenora watched as Crystal found him and pulled him into the fray. There was no reason to feel jealous. After all, she was the one who had invited Crystal, she reminded herself.
When Jesse and Byron started playing the next song, Clay grabbed both Lenora and Liz and pulled them up and into the spinning mix of bodies. Out of breath and red-cheeked, her jealousy forgotten, Lenora began to smile.
After the dance she noticed Crystal head off to the bathroom. She knocked on the door after a few minutes had passed.
“Are you okay?” Lenora said.
“Yeah, just a long day and too much wine,” Crystal said.
“Would you like to go lay down for a while?” Lenora said.
“Yes. That would be perfect,” Crystal said.
The two of them made their way upstairs. Lenora helped steady the taller woman as they reached the landing.
“I drank too much again,” Crystal said. “I always do that at the wrong time.”
“Yeah me, too,” Lenora said. Pulling back the two quilts and flannel sheet, she readied the bed for Crystal.
“That first time you came out to the ranch, do you remember? Well, I went into town and sang karaoke with Rosa. And made a huge fool of myself by drinking way too much. Clay came to collect me, and I was foul-mouthed to him.”
“He’s used to it. I got so drunk a few times, he had to carry me to the truck,” Crystal said. She pulled off her jeans and climbed into bed.
“I’ll get you some water,” Lenora said.
Outside in the hallway she was amazed at how easy it was to be nice to Crystal when Clay was not around. Actually, she realized, she even liked the other woman. There was something child-like about her even while she tried to act so worldly. Could she really blame Clay for still feeling responsible for Crystal when she herself was now taking care of her after a few too many drinks? Funny, she wanted a man with a big heart in her life, and, yet, she also did not want him to be kind to his ex-wife.
Lenora set a full glass of water on the nightstand. Crystal had closed her eyes, but she opened them as Lenora was about to leave the room.
“Thanks for inviting me. I had a good time,” Crystal said. “I won’t get in your way. I promise. Plus, I don’t think he loves me anymore.”
“Okay then. Sleep well,” Lenora said. She found herself smiling as she closed the bedroom door. She knew Crystal meant no harm with her tipsy words.
After their last guests had finally gone home; Rosa driving her bourbon-sodden husband, Jesse, and both of his parents, Lenora and Liz sat down by the fireplace. Liz winked and poured Lenora another glass of wine.
“Sorry for walking in on you two earlier. I thought you and Clay were finished with all that,” Liz said quietly.
“I was. I mean, we are,” Lenora said. “I don’t know what happened. We were talking and then he kissed me.”
“It looked like more than just a kiss,” Liz said. “And, it also looked to me like you kissed him back.”
“I did. He’s amazing,” Lenora said. She took a sip of wine, thankful the day was over, and she had a friend to confide in.
“I don’t think you see the way he looks at you, Lenora. He’s still crazy about you. Why not give it another shot?”
“I don’t want to ruin what we have. You don’t know how hard we have had to work on getting our friendship back. It’s been a long road. I just can’t stand the thought of losing him, and that seems like the only likely outcome to me.”
“Or maybe you married the wrong guy,” Liz said. “When you were too young and inexperienced to know better. And, well, now when you have met the right guy, you’re too afraid to commit again. Learn from your mistakes and move onward. Life isn’t about a single shot at happiness. It’s about trying again and again until we get it right.”
“I think that’s the most profound thing you’ve ever said to me.” Lenora smiled at her friend.
“I just care about you,” Liz said. “And I think Clay cares too. I know I’m just arriving on the scene and don’t know all the past history, but I think you’re a great person who deserves to be happy. You need a wonderful guy like Clay in your life!”
“Oh, Liz, I’ve missed you,” Lenora said. “I’m not going to live in fear of failure because of Mick my whole life. I know I’ll get brave again. I’m sure of it.”