“Did the mare have her colt?” Clay asked
Now it was Lenora’s turn to feel her throat close and the tears come, they were so scalding hot she could not blink fast enough to keep them from spilling down her cheeks. She stepped into the tiny room. His eyes never left hers, steadily drawing her towards him.
Still she could not speak, and so she took the hand Byron released and Clay offered. He squeezed her fingers in return and still met her gaze. She had to look down and swallow before speaking. “Yes, she had a chestnut filly.”
“It’s good luck having a filly,” Clay said. “And red mares always bring change.”
“Clay, I’m so sorry. I…” Lenora did not know what to say.
“I’m going to be fine,” Clay said. “A few bones to heal. And the lungs already feel much better. You should have seen Byron’s face on the way to the hospital. He drove that dually truck like a formula-one car.”
“You should have seen your face, Clay,” Byron said. He reached out and touched Clay’s shoulder and then looked down to hide his own tears.
A nurse appeared and ushered them out of the curtains, and then a tall lady with Clay’s clear, bright eyes came walking down the hallway towards them. A taller, younger version of Clay flanked her. Lenora knew she was staring, but the young man must have broken a lot of hearts with his clean jawline, dark complexion and shining, black hair free-falling down his back.
“Raina,” Annie said and grasped the woman’s turquoise studded hands.
“And you are Lenora?” Raina said. “Clay’s told me a lot about you.”
“Yes, I’m sorry we’re meeting under such bad circumstances,” Lenora said. Her voice sounded stiff even to her own ears, and she felt her cheeks starting to heat up under the older woman’s steady gaze. Now she knew where Clay got that piercing look, his mother.
Raina smiled and then turned and pulled open the curtains, despite the nurse’s protest. She knelt next to her son’s bed and kissed his damp forehead and touched his cheeks and neck. Lenora could not hear what she said to him but felt the warmth only a mother can give to her own dear child.
When Raina appeared again and stood with their small group, her eyes were softer. “I’ll stay with him tonight. You all should get some rest,” she said. “Ahh, sorry. Lenora, this is my youngest son, Corbin.”
Clay’s brother took Lenora’s outstretched hand and held it while meeting her eyes. “My brother spoke the truth when he said he had met a woman as beautiful on the inside as the out.”
Lenora just stared at him, unsure what to say. He released her hand, and then he moved to his brother’s side.
“Let’s go home,” Annie said. “We all need to sleep, and we can come back first thing in the morning.”
Despite the slow pulse of a headache, Lenora did not want to leave Clay. What she really wanted was to sit with him quietly, to show him she loved him more than she feared a broken heart.
She needed a quiet night to say those words to him; a night to ride in the mountains, to feel the brush of stars and the smell of pine sap on the breeze. Instead, she went to his bedside, and with the nurse, his mother, her aunt, uncle and his brother all watching she bent and kissed his pale lips. When she pulled back his eyes were open, and that half smile she so loved slowly appeared on his face.
“Maybe I should tell those young colts to try and kill me more often.” Clay said. “Seems you like me better hobbled and in bed.”
Was it her imagination, she wondered, or was he flirting with her in front of his mother. Her face was hot, and she could not look up from the bedsheet.
“Please, don’t ever let it happen again,” Lenora said. “What can I bring you for breakfast?”
“Blueberry muffins,” Clay said.
The next morning everything conspired to keep her from the hospital. She woke to hear Uncle Byron yelling that the heifers were loose. Outside in the pre-dawn light, a herd of twenty young mothers stood around the ranch house leaving piles of steaming manure in the snow. The ranch had guests arriving that morning; Lenora sighed and zipped up her coat. Next, Jesse complained of a stomach ache, and two minutes later he was outside leaning over the porch and releasing breakfast. The morning kept getting worse: Raina called the ranch and informed Annie she was taking Clay back home with her to recover.
Lenora felt like crying. All she wanted was to spend the afternoon sitting with Clay at the hospital, finding out that he might not be returning to the ranch for weeks, maybe longer, was too much to handle. The whole situation was a huge mess. Lenora slammed down the colander in the sink.
“What’s wrong?” Annie said.
“Nothing, sorry. I think I’m just out of sorts from not getting enough sleep and being all stressed out about Clay.”
“Byron and I are going to see him in just a little bit, want to come?” Annie said.
“Yes, I, I just have so much to get done,” Lenora said. What she really wanted to say was she needed to be alone with Clay.
“Go,” Annie said. “We managed the ranch before you showed up, and I bet we can even manage these guests as well. Now go!”
As Lenora entered the hospital room, she was met by Raina and Crystal. Corbin stood at the window, looking out at the parking lot and mountains in the distance. Lenora felt her stomach clench into a cold ball of dread. She wanted nothing more than to shut the door, slip back down the white-squared linoleum floors and out into the bright sunshine. Instead, she closed the door behind her and leaned against it. She met Clay’s beautiful, deep brown eyes; her stomach unclenched enough to do a quick flip. It was good to see him, she thought, even if he still looked tired and beaten.
“Hi everyone,” Lenora said. “I just wanted to stop by, and make sure Clay was getting along okay.”
“Hi,” Clay said. He patted the white, hospital bedspread beside him as an invitation for her to come and sit with him.
“It’s good to see you, Lenora,” Crystal said. “Tell Annie and Byron hi for me. I better get going, my shift at the casino starts really soon.”
“Bye,” Lenora said. She realized she was even more jealous and protective of Clay now that he was injured.
Lenora sat next to Clay on his thin, hard bed. She pulled out carefully wrapped blueberry muffins from her purse and laid them on the table.
“You brought them,” Clay said. “Thanks.”
“Would you like a muffin, Raina? Corbin?” Lenora said. “The hospital food really stinks.”
“Yes, it does. Those look amazing,” Raina said. She reached out her hand for a muffin and even smiled a little. “I can’t wait to get him back home with me, and then he can heal up proper.”
Lenora met Clay’s eyes; she knew her own eyes must have been huge with worry. Her mind was filled with doubt.
“Just for a month,” Clay said. “That way you don’t have to take care of me and everything else around the ranch.”
Lenora looked at her hands. The one thing she did want to do was take care of Clay.
“Clay tells me you have a dude ranch now out at Bear Dance?” Raina said.
Was it Lenora’s imagination, or did everything this woman say seem like a challenge. Had she been like this to Crystal, or was it because Lenora was a white woman? She felt ridiculous for even thinking that way, but Raina was pretty darn chilly towards her.
“Yes, we do” Lenora said. “The ranch needed another source of income. The cattle business doesn’t always bring in enough money to keep the place afloat.”
“Clay also says that you don’t even eat beef?” Raina said.
“No, I don’t,” Lenora said. She felt caged and locked her fingers together, Clay touched her knee, but she did not look at him.
“The beef business has been bad for the west. My people have lost great swaths of land to them. And those damn cows eat up all the grass so the mustangs and other animals have nothing,” Raina said. “I’m headed out for some air. You keep him company, but don’t get him too excited, you hear?”
Lenora blushed and nodded. Once the heavy, industrial door swung closed, they were alone. Clay took her hand and brought it up to his lips.
“Are you okay?” He said.
“Oh, yes. I’m so happy you’re alive,” Lenora said. “I mean that. I was so scared yesterday.”
“You were?” Clay said. “That’s good.”
“So, you’re not coming back to the ranch to heal?”
“No, my Mom wants the chance to take care of me for a while. I think it’s best anyway.”
“Okay, I’ll… I’ll miss you,” Lenora said.
“Oh yeah? How much?” Clay said. He was smiling and when she turned to look at him he pulled her down and kissed her swiftly. Then he groaned and lay still with his eyes closed.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you alright?” Lenora said. “Oh, no. That’s my fault.”
“I’m fine. Don’t be sorry,” Clay said. “I’m the one who moved. It’s still so hard to breathe. And moving is sheer hell.”
She touched his cheek and then wiped away the beads of sweat that appeared on his forehead. His skin was pale again, and the dark circles under his eyes stood out in stark contrast.
“I’m sorry, Clay,” she said. “For the past. Can we go out for a ride when you come back? And talk?”
“What, are you worried I won’t be able to give you the best night of your life anymore? I fell off a horse, I’m not dead!” Clay said.
“Actually, the horse fell on you. And you can joke about it, but you almost died yesterday and so, yes, we are all worried about you, and I want to tell you I’m sorry for making such a big deal over Crystal,” Lenora said. “Now, can we just have a nice heart to heart talk when you get back, with no touching?”
“No touching ?” Clay said.
“Yes,” Lenora said. “I mean I can’t think straight with you touching me. So, if we ride separate horses, I’ll be able to say what’s on my mind.”
“You can’t think when I touch you?” Clay said. “Why did you hide this very important fact from me until now?” He ran his free hand across her thigh and then grasped her opposite hip and moved his thumb until it was under the fabric of her shirt and touching her bare side. “Let me make love to you right now.”
“Clay, are you crazy?” Lenora said. “No!”
He smiled. “Aww, come on. I nearly died yesterday. You said so yourself. Why can’t I want you here and now, in this hospital bed?”
“I can’t believe I’m even having this conversation.” But she bent her head and touched her lips to his.
“I’ll miss you, too,” Clay said, and his eyes told her he meant every word.
***
Spring turned the ranch to green emerald pastures. Swallows built nests in the barns, and the fish spawned in the river. More guests than the ranch could accommodate tried to book a retreat at Bear Dance Ranch. Lenora found herself busy from the moment she woke until her head hit the pillow at night. Corbin was a good hand around the ranch. He took over Clay’s string of training horses, and helped out with all the ranch work as well.
Lenora missed Clay. His absence was a steady ache located deep below her ribs. Some mornings when she woke, she could almost smell his scent on her pillow. She wanted nothing more than to roll over and be engulfed in his strong arms and rest her head on his chest. Cell service was spotty at the reservation. The few times she was able to speak to him Clay sounded happy and as if he was having a great time catching up with old friends. His mother was pampering him through recovery.
Nearly a year to the day of Lenora’s arrival at Bear Dance Ranch, Clay came home.
High atop the middle foothill to the east, Lenora saw the old Ford Raina drove kicking up a dust plume. She urged Major into a full gallop, and the two of them raced across the brilliant green pastures, cattle scattering to get out of their way. In the driveway in front of the ranch house, a group had formed around Clay and his mother. Slipping off her blowing horse, Lenora stood and watched as Clay hugged her aunt and uncle for a good three minutes. Annie was crying when they finally pulled apart, and so Clay hugged her again.
“There you are,” Clay said. “I thought that was you tearing down out of the hills. No one else on this ranch would ride a crazy, white Arabian.” He locked eyes with Lenora, and she was reminded of their first introduction on a similar evening a year ago. How much had changed, she thought. She had never imagined this cowboy would come to mean so much to her.
“Welcome home, Clay,” Lenora said. She hoped her face showed all the pleasure she felt to see him standing before her, nearly healed and so strong. Her face was starting to flush. He was giving her the look which seemed to mean he knew what color her panties wore— or at least he would like to find out.
“Come inside for dinner,” Annie said. “Lenora has made lasagna, and there is fresh bread.”
Lenora put Major away, then headed into the ranch house. The table was alive with stories of the ranch and all that had happened in Clay’s absence. Jesse and Corbin explained all about the training horses and what had been accomplished with each animal.
“No riding colts, Clay,” Annie said. “Until the doctor releases you.”
“That is for darn sure,” Raina said.
Lenora caught Clay watching her several times, and each time he winked. Would she be able to sneak out to see him later? His mother might be staying in his bunkhouse. Plus with Corbin out there, too, it seemed highly unlikely. Maybe, she thought, she could take him out on a leisurely trail ride tomorrow for some much needed privacy.
“Clay, Annie and I have been talking,” Byron said. “And we’d like Corbin to stay on if he wants to. After speaking with your momma, Corbin, she tells us you’ve hung up your spurs and bucking saddle and aren’t doing the rodeo anymore, so maybe it’s time you found yourself a good ranch to be part of. You think about it. With so many guests coming to the ranch now, and well, Lenora wants to expand even more. I know Clay is going to need to start back slow as well, so there will be some slack to fill around this place.”
“Yes sir, I’d like that pretty well,” Corbin said.
“Me, too,” Clay said. “Someone has to keep an eye on you and all those ladies you like to bring home.”
“To Clay coming back to Bear Dance,” Annie said. “And to Corbin staying on.”
Everyone raised their glasses and Lenora felt herself smiling so much her cheeks began to ache.