It wasn't a nightmare.
Josh was really gone.
The funeral passed like a silent wind.
No one could process anything.
The pack atmosphere was gloomy.
They couldn't take in the loss of a strong, kind-hearted warrior like Josh.
He was dear to everyone. He always put everyone else before him. No one in the pack didn't like him.
Rain walked back to his room like a ghost after the funeral. He didn't have any energy or any more tears to shed.
He felt so tired.
Evelyn blankly stared at the place where they buried the beta. She flinched when someone put a hand on her shoulder.
Keiran looked at her worriedly. "We should go back. It's getting cold, "
The omega looked down as another tear rolled down her cheek. "I feel so guilty… my heart can't take it an-anymore, "
She broke down and her mate quickly pulled her to his chest, gently caressing her back. "It's not your fault—"
"It is! It is…. I saw it, Keiran… I saw that bastard throw the knife. I should've stopped it—I was trained for it! But I couldn't…. I couldn't focus...You were injured and my mind couldn't con-concentrate… I could've saved him if I did… He would be still alive if I had tried…. I told you… I told you people die because of me… It's all because of me—"
"Evelyn, " The alpha interrupted her sternly. "It's not your fault! It happens to everyone. The reason I got injured in the fight was that I saw you barging towards Victor. My mind at that time could only focus on you. I was worried you were going to get injured and that weak moment was what Victor took advantage of, " He sighed.
"It is what happened to you too… You were distracted. It happens to everyone when their mate is injured. And you didn't do it to Josh. He made a decision to do that… He saved us and the whole pack. He was aware of what he was doing…. " Keiran trailed off before placing a kiss on her forehead. "Don't beat yourself up for it, okay? "
Evelyn stood there silently for a moment before she nodded.
"Let's go inside, shall we? "
"O-Okay… "
*
*
The alpha closed their bedroom door soon after they got in. "Take a shower and rest for a bit. You must be tired, "
"You look tired too, " The omega pointed out.
"Then how about we rest together? "
"Hmm… will you cuddle me? "
"As much as you want, " Keiran placed a kiss on his mate's head as he took off his jacket.
Evelyn sighed and quickly hugged the alpha. "We should check on Rain… "
Keiran nodded. "Let's do that after some time, "
*
*
*
"Rain… you should eat this…. " Calvin heaved a heavy sigh as he extended a spoonful of soup towards his mate.
"I don't want it, " The omega replied stubbornly. "I told you I'm not hungry so stop forcing me, "
"You haven't had anything for so long. You're getting thin day by day. If this continues, you're going to faint again. I can't let that happen, "
"Why? Why do you care so suddenly?! You hated me! Why do you care now?!"
"I promised Josh I'd take care of you, " The beta rubbed his temples as he frowned.
Rain paused. "That's it?" He asked, his voice small and soft while he stared down at his lap. "Is that the only reason…? Because you promised him...? I became a burden… didn't I? A promise that you have to keep… "
"Rain," Calvin looked up in surprise. "That's not what I meant…. You know it… I'd take care of you regardless—"
"Liar! You're a damn liar! " The omega cried as he hit his mate's chest. "Just like him! He promised me he would never leave me…. but he left… leaving me behind here… "
Calvin caught the omega's wrist and stared at him empathetically. "You loved him… . didn't you? " He asked, his eyes trailing down to the boy's necklace.
Rain took in a shaky breath before he looked down. He clenched his fists as he nodded. "I-I did…before I… before I was m-mated to you…" His lips trembled as he tried to talk. "Then-Then I couldn't… I couldn't lo-love him like that after… My heart could only beat for you… I couldn't feel t-that kind of love f-for him…" He leaned back with a sigh. "Oh god…. I must h-have hurt him so much…"
Calvin made the omega look at him. "It wasn't your fault. It's the Moon Goddess who decided it… "
"Calvin….do you think the goddess hates me?"
"I don't think—"
"She made me a male omega…. A-A freak… then she took away my p-parents… and made me an orphan…. I spent my whole life being a burden to the people around me… " He looked down. "I thought everything w-would be better when I grow up… but then we became f-fated pairs… you-you hate me… and she took away the only person who loved me… " The omega broke down.
"D-Did I do something bad to deserve this? Why is this happening to m-me? I couldn't even tell Josh that I l-loved him! He was still my best friend! He still had a place in my heart… "
Calvin quickly engulfed the trembling omega. "I'm sure he knew it… It was obvious in your eyes… He knew it very well… " He gently caressed his mate's back.
"I'm tired… "
"You need to eat—"
"I'm not hungry, "
"But you should eat…please… I can't watch you faint again, " Calvin stared at the omega and Rain had no choice but to give in.
The omega slowly took sips from the spoon as his mate fed him. He finished half of the soup silently before he timidly spoke up.
"Calvin…"
Calvin hummed as he looked up.
"Can-Can you… "
"What is it? "
"Umm… C-Can you h-hold me till I f-fall asleep? It's just that I-I can't sleep—"
"I will, " The beta answered which surprised the boy in front of him. "I will if you finish this soup. Can you do that? "
"Huh… ? Y-Yes… I can. "
*
*
*
Rain snuggled into his mate's chest. He was stiff for some moment before he finally relaxed. His mate's fresh sandal scent calmed his nerves.
Calvin on the other hand didn't know what to do. It felt weird having the omega in his arms but for some reason, he didn't feel disgusted or uncomfortable as he thought he would feel.
Instead, he felt so calm. His eyes felt droopy and he unknowingly snuggled into the warmth of his mate as they fell shut.
Maybe one day everything will be alright…