As we stood outside, she stopped to stare at the house, and I realized it was the first time she was seeing the place where I had brought her, where she would be staying. She looked at me with unasked questions in her eyes, probably wondering how a homeless beggar came to have an apartment and why he still roamed the streets if he had a roof to give.
I ignored all the unasked questions and asked, "You coming?" She nodded and followed me. I noticed that she was no longer limping as much as before.
As we walked, I pointed out the directions to the library, "When you reach the end of the street, you'll see a huge sign board that says 'WILSON'S LIBRARY & BOOK STORE.' Tell the keeper that you're here for the vacant job and he'll tell you when to resume. I've spoken with him already so he won't give you a hard time," I instructed her.
She looked at the directions and started to walk towards them. "Goodbye," she said to me, "And thank you."
I gave a curt nod, watching her leave.
I was ready to be on my way, but suddenly I remembered that the baby was alone at the house. I couldn't leave the child all alone. Despite my initial thoughts that it's not my problem, I found myself retracing my steps to go back and stay with the little boy, until she comes back.
Hours later, I paced anxiously in the living room, waiting for her return. It had been two days since I had last had a drink and my mind was starting to wander to places I didn't want it to go. Some would think that I love to drink because I live on it, but the truth was, I hate the liquid itself but I take it because of what it could do for me. It's like taking meds; you know you hate them but they keep your illness in check so you gotta keep taking them.
I needed a drink to quiet my thoughts and keep me sane.
I heard her approaching and waited for her to enter the house. She looked happy, sad, and scared all at once.
"How was the job hunt?" I asked, trying to keep my tone neutral.
"I got the job," she said softly, walking over to her baby to check on him. "The old keeper seemed kind, but I couldn't help feeling a little sorry for him. He was almost blind and had to wear old glasses."
"He made it to old age, the bad sight is only a small price to pay," I said simply. "Some didn't have the luxury to live as long as he did."
She paused and looked at me. I could see the questions and my face hardened. She got the message because the look dissolved, replaced by gratitude. "I don't know how to thank you... I don't know how to express my gratitude for all of this," she said, gesturing around the room.
"It's nothing," I said, my voice harsh and cold. I couldn't allow myself to get too invested in her and her baby's well-being. I needed to walk away and forget about them.
As I turned to leave, she spoke up again. "Will I see you again?" she asked softly.
I didn't know how to answer. Part of me wanted to say yes, but I knew it would be a lie. She needed to move on and take care of her baby without relying on anyone else.
"No," I said firmly. "Take care of yourself and your baby. This is the last time we'll see each other. Stay safe. Goodbye, lady."
I left the house, needing to drown my thoughts in alcohol and forget about her and her baby. It was the only way I knew how to cope.
Two months later,
JASAMINA
Organizing the books on their designated shelves was not an easy task for me, but I was content with the outcome.
My son, Jaime, had been a healthy and happy baby ever since he began eating well. He had grown so beautiful and his complexion was now lighter and smooth. He was a cheerful baby and that made me happy for having the courage to run away from my previous life.
As I climbed the wooden ladder to place more books on their shelves, a regular customer walked in. I approached her gracefully and greeted her politely, with my signature smile on my face.
She was a chubby woman who seemed nice, but I didn't care much. Everyone may seem nice, but only the mysterious drunk who had helped me was truly kind to me.
"Good afternoon ma'am," I greeted her.
"Oh Mina, how are you?" she asked, smiling as always. Sometimes I wondered if she had any worries.
I shortened my name to Mina, instead of Jasamina, so that no one would recognize me.
"Fine, so what book would you like to read today?" I said, changing the topic.
"Oh! I won't be needing any books for now, I just came to return these," she said, handing me the books before turning to leave. "And thank you, I enjoyed your recommendation," she added as she walked out of the store.