Jaime whimpered and started crying, squirming in my arm. I broke down in tears too. I've never felt so helpless in my life.
"Shh, baby, it's going to be okay. I promise," I whispered.
I kept rocking him as I made my way into the motel room. I had to pay for the cheapest room and somehow get him to fall asleep. Then, I had to go out and earn some money to buy his drugs. I have to buy Jaime's drugs... whatever it takes.
In the motel room, I placed the portable box on the bed. Jaimie had finally stopped crying, but he was still very sick. I laid him on the bed and stroked his hair, "I will be back, baby. I just need to run you a bath." My voice was hoarse from all the crying.
I walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower, but it wasn't working. It's one of the faults of the cheapest room in a motel. I grabbed an old-looking bucket and placed it under the tap to fill it with warm water. Thank God the tap was working.
I strode back to the room and undressed Jaimie. His eyes followed me around, but he didn't giggle or coo as usual. It was almost too much for me to bear, but I tried to stay positive for my baby's sake.
I carried him to the bathroom and placed him in the tub and started bathing him, "You'll survive. You're strong and brave. We will get through this together." I bathed him as gently as I could, trying not to cause him any more discomfort.
Afterwards, I carried him back to the room and sat down on the bed. I pushed my blouse up and settled him comfortably on my chest. He took the nipple into his mouth and started sucking. It was a heart-wrenching sight to see him so worn out and sick.
I caressed his hair and whispered, "You're my reason to live. I love you so much, my baby. For you, I'll take on the whole world. You're my strength, and I will get you help. Stay strong for me." I held back my tears, not wanting to upset Jaimie anymore.
I watched him as he fell asleep, and then I laid him down on the bed, took a quick shower and changed into my last clean clothing, a simple gown that hugged my curves.
In the street, I looked around, and people were passing by. I saw a woman buying goods from a nearby store, and I decided to approach her. "Good evening, ma'am," I said, trying to sound confident.
"Evening, how may I help you?" she asked.
"Please, I really need money. I'm desperate. My baby is sick, and I need money to buy his medicine," I pleaded, trying not to cry.
"Oh really? Do I look like some charity organization to you?" she snarled, glaring at me.
"No, ma'am. I'm just pleading with you to help me. I'm badly in need of money," I said, my voice shaking.
"Get out of my sight, you whore! Doesn't the baby have a father? Did I send you to get pregnant? Leave my sight before I unleash my anger on you," she yelled, and then stormed off.
I felt so sad and hurt when she called me a "whore". If only she knew what I have been through and my current situation, she would never call me that. I watched her cross the road in her expensive heels and enter her car. I felt devastated, but my baby's sickness could worsen if I didn't get the drugs on time. I had to try again! I couldn't give up like this. I saw another woman who seemed to run a restaurant.
"Good evening, ma'am," I cried to her as I walked closer.
"Evening, young lady," she answered reluctantly.
"Please, I need financial assistance. I have a baby, and I need money to buy medicine for him. I can wash plates for you all night, clean tables, serve customers, or do anything. I just need money, please," I cried softly.
"I wish I could help, young lady, but I am also not financially stable," she looked at me with pity. "I furnished the shop on a loan, and it isn't even enough for daily pay. I'm so sorry, but I don't think I can help you."
"Oh God, alright, thanks, ma'am," I said, sniffing as I moved on.
She gave me a once-over with her eyes. "You're still so young to be saddled with a child. You should have told your boyfriend to use protection. You would have prevented this."
I would have laughed if my heart wasn't threatening to burst out of my chest. This woman didn't know a thing. If I had said something like that to Dale, he would have strangled me to death. Jamie is the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't regret not preventing him.
"Thanks for your concern, ma'am," I said as I walked away.