We were quiet in his car. I was angry with him. My emotions are mixed so I can't say what I should say.
I was worried about Kurt. I should feel sorry for him. He drives seriously and I saw the veins in his arms flexed while maneuvering his car.
Only a sigh escaped the two of us.
"About, your last message." He broke the silence between us.
I don’t know where he will take me. Maybe we really need to talk...to clear up some issues and maybe to clarrify what we really are.
I just leaned against the window glass.
"Did you really mean it ? Nor do you know what happened Frix. You didn't let me explain. "He said to me when I didn't answer.
I miss his voice so instead of answering him I just chose to keep quiet.
Even walking in and inside the elevator I said nothing. He tried to reached me but I refused.I remained the distance.
My heart started to rattle. I sat on the sofa and I felt him following.
I was surprised when Rad squatted in front of me to level our vision.
"Let's talk." he said seriously while looking and I avoided h immediately.
"About what?"
I noticed that he was only wearing a white t -shirt and pants. His body was almost out of the tshirt because of his musculinity.
"You saw the pictures." He trailed out. I still don't have the strength to pour out all my emotions.
"That was nothing. She's a family friend."
"I don't know what to say...." Atlast I was able to speak.
I remember what Cassy told me.
"Let’s stop this Rad."Then he tried to reach my chin but I just took his hand away.
"What, Frixxie?" His eyes narrowed.
My vision became blur because of my tears. "I don't want this anymore."
"Baby, please we can talk about this.Ask me anything. Please tell me your thoughts and I will listen. "
So, this is it Frix. This is what you want to happen, isn't it? You will be clear.I took a deep breath and gathered all my strength to look straight at him.
His arms wrapped on my small waist he looked up at me squatting while I sat on the sofa.
"I'm hurting." I said in a low voice as if we were the only two who could hear.
He licked his lips and nodded while looking at me. Waiting for what I will say next.
"We start like this, we kissed..." I swallowed. "We make out and .... we ... fucked." My last word was a whisper. I saw the bitterness in his eyes when I said that.
He nodded briefly while I wiped my tears. "But you have a lot of women. I’m afraid to ask you what's really are we. Because I know I'll only get hurt because I'm just one of your women, right? You know even though it hurts, I endured it though I looked like a fool. "
"I-I can't. ... don't want to, I've trained myself too much with you. Even though I know we don't really in a relationship. I don't want to expect Rad. So while it’s still early, Let’s stop this. ”I said. "I love you Rad.I love you damn much but I look like a martyr. It hurts me to see you have someone else." I sobbed and shook. "I have to stop this."
In a flash he turned my neck and kissed me on my lips.
When it comes to love, you never know what is right and wrong. All you know is you are inlove.
He stop the kiss. We both gasped. And in just a swift move, he sat down and he made me sit on his lap. He stop the kiss. We both gasped. And in just a swift move, he sat down and he made me sit on his lap. He did that without any difficulty!
"You're so dense, baby." He whispered in my ear."I love you fucking much too and it's not just fuck Frix, it's making love."My heart pounded at what he said. What the heck!?
"I love you. From the very first time I laid my eyes on you. I know what you've taken from me... You took my heart Frix." He continued.
"Listen baby, at first I don't know why I want to be with you every day. I want to see you all the time and I want you to be mine. It got to the point where I almost killed those men around you."
"I just felt it..I did everything I could to avoid you and divert my attention to others. But every time I see you all that is useless. Baby, please face me. "he said and I looked at him."Do you want to stop this? Baby please tell me. Do I still need to woo? Tell me baby."
My brain could not process the words that came from him.
I shook. "I love you, Rad. I missed you." I said in a low voice.
I heard him swear. "Fuck, I love you too. You are only mine Frix. Mine only" He said and buried his face on my neck.
"Won't you greet me?" He asked.
I was confused. "What? Why?"
He smiled and tucked some of my hair behind my ears.
"Today is my birthday." Damn! I do not know!
*****
I covered my mouth. "Oh my god, Rad. I -I did'nt know!"
He laughed at my reaction.
"Hey, calm down. It's okay, we had the whole day baby. We'll go out later." He said to me.
I pouted. "I don't have a gift."
He shook his head and kissed my cheek. He wrapped his hand on my waist.
"It's okay for me that we're settled. I don't need gifts."
"Okay. But, who's that woman with you? I mean the one in the pictures."
"She's a family friend Frix. We're just friends." He explained.
"Really? Friends? Why there’s a hug? What's that?" I can not control myself.
His lips rose. "You are jealous."
I scoffed. "Wow! What a thick face you have Rad.Dont turn the tables. Its about you and that bitch."
"Her mother likes her for me. Her mother and mama were bestfriends. I didn't know they were there." I was devastated by what he said.
"Huh?" that's all I can say.
"Don't worry my family won't meddle about my life. I'll still be the one to follow. So you don't have to worry coz' you're the only one I love".
"Please don't fool me. I don't know what to do then. I only have you in my life Rad.I dont have a family here. You're the only one I have. "
His forehead creased. There, he was wondering.
"Your family isn't here?" His reaction was surprising. I never said anything about in my life.
I shook and hugged him.
"I'm papa's daughter to another woman." I saw the melancholy, confusion and pity in his eyes. He looked at me like I'm a puzzle.
"We used to live in the US. Mama left me with papa for reasons I don't know when I was young. My mom is american... I am half american." I looked at him intently.He's just looking at me....Waiting for something else from me.
"That's why you had a foreign looks huh? ' Snow white skin, pointed nose and a brown eyes. " He said while looking at my face. "Very beautiful."
I laughed. "My dad had a family there...He’s a filipino Rad. "He nodded. Very attentive to my life story.
"His family hate me that's why dad have to throw me here and leave me alone."
"Damn! I don't know! If I only knew from then then we've been living in one roof before. Ouch!"
I slapped his arm.
"What ?! I still want to graduate Rad. I don't want to live in just nothing."
"We're going to marry anyway... If you're ready." He told me that my heart was pounding.
"R-Rad."
"Hush, I can wait.You're mine and I'm yours too. You have a right for me from now on and please trust me. Okay?"
"Yes...Happy birthday Rad." I said and kissed him softly. The kiss was simple at first but the two of us ended up in bed.
Rad and I went out and ate at the bistro that just opened today.
We were at a table not far in front of the mini stage. Rad ordered a lot. It's about six o'clock in the evening and we went out because he said we were going to eat. Just the two of us even though it was his birthday he didn’t want the celebration. As he said he hate parties .
One of his hands was wrapped around my waist and he was very attentive to me. He didn't even eat much
He gently kiss my hair and we look to the front where a familiar woman is singing . This woman is so beautiful.
"Isn't she a beautiful? She has a beautiful voice." Nothing of my own ,I say.
He kissed my forehead. "I know her." He smirked.
He know her? "What? Your ex?" I sighed and slapped him . "Rad what ?!" I moaned when he didn't answer.
"Damn, baby. I'm no longer claimed by someone else's. That's Natalia! Sebe's girl! That's my cousin's girlfriend." He told me that I was surprised. What the heck.
"So sorry." I stuttered.
"You're so beautiful baby. No matter how you react, you're still beautiful."
This is also the first time that Rad and I will date in public. I'm still looking forward about our relationship.
"I love you." He whispered in my ear as we listen to the song.
I once prayed that this would not end. Let me do this first.
Suddenly my cellphone rang. I prompted Rad to read my cellphone first because there was a text. He snorted and nodded.Dad text me!
From Dad: 'We are here in your condo, I'm with your sister.
I'm going home to my condo. Rad also insisted on coming with me because he said he wanted to meet papa but I refused. It's not that I don't like his idea but It's just really not the right time.
And wow.After a years, papa think of going to see me? I was suddenly nervous. I was sweating cold!
Rad just drove me and I promised him that we would meet tomorrow at school. Although I didn't say that I knew he would find me himself.