I T WAS Dad Richard’s birthday. Alexandra was excited to see him again. May anim na buwan silang hindi nagkitang mag-ama at bago iyon, hindi rin madalas na nagkikita. Naging busy siya sa pag-aasikaso sa mga naiwan ng ina, kasabay ng pagtatayo ng sariling negosyo.
Ibinenta ng may-ari ang resort na tinutuluyan niya. She took advantage and now she owned it. Pinatayuan niya iyon ng ilan pang cottages dahil malaki ang lupa, kahit pa tatlo lang ang cottage na available for rent. Gusto ni Alexandra na maging isang fully-functioning resort iyon. Gusto niyang ma-accomplish ang maging isang successful na negosyante. It was something that she looked forward to.
Simple lang ang birthday celebration at gaganapin sa Amalfi Coast, sa bahay ng kanyang ama. Imbitado si Luca, at maging si Connor, siyempre. She was not looking forward to seeing Connor again. In fact, kung puwede lang, ayaw na niyang makita ang lalaki kahit kailan.
Siya pa ang na-guilty nang umalis ang lalaki na parang nasaktan sa kanyang mga sinabi. Ilang gabi siyang hindi nakatulog, tinitimbang kung mag-a-apologize, hanggang sa maisip na mas maganda na rin iyon. Totoo naman na wala silang aasahan sa isa’t isa. Unang-una, hindi niya alam kung ano ang totoo nitong damdamin. Wala naman silang pinagsamahan, bukod sa baliw na mga sandali sa Las Vegas. There was absolutely nothing to work on.
Ang sariling buhay ang kailangang ayusin ni Alexandra. At iyon ang kanyang ginawa. Iyon ang patuloy na gagawin. A family? Of course she wanted one. Pero darating iyon kung darating. Bata pa siya, marami pang oras. Kung hindi man dumating, walang problema. Hindi iyon isang bagay na pinipilit.
Hindi rin siya worried na walang makilala ganoong hindi siya umaalis ng Siargao. In fact, she met a man, a tourist. Nagkakausap sila sa Internet ngayong nakabalik na ito sa Amerika. Nagsabi na ng intensiyon sa kanya. Gusto nitong bisitahin siya sa Pilipinas. Hindi nag-commit ng kahit ano si Alexandra. Ayaw niyang sumige, kahit madalas na lalong nabibigyang-diin sa kanya ang kalungkutan tuwing mag-isa siya sa gabi.
She wondered what Connor would say if he found out that she thought about him most of the time. What she felt for him she never felt for any man she had ever met before. What they had was something she had never shared with anyone before.
Nang makarating sa bahay ng ama, nakitulong si Alexandra sa matanda na maghanda. Together, they made a Sicilian salad, pasta, salmon, and tiramisu. Naunang dumating si Luca, may dalang alak at agad siyang niyakap. Luca had been a part of the family. Nag-retire na rin ang matanda, ayon na rin dito. Gusto nitong magbakasyon sa Pilipinas at sinabi ni Alexandra na walang problema iyon.
Eksaktong alas-nuwebe, nag-dinner na sila. Wala pa rin si Connor kaya tinawagan na ni Luca. Nang matapos ang tawag, sinabi ng matanda na on the way na raw ang lalaki. “I think he is with someone. I heard someone speaking.”
“A girl?” tanong ni Dad Richard.
“You know Connor,” sabi ni Luca.
Oh, yes, I do know Connor , sa isip-isip ni Alexandra. Wala namang bago sa balita. Connor was still the womanizer that he had always been. Nagsabi-sabi ito na gusto siyang makasama noon, pero ngayon, agad nang nakatagpo ng kung sinong Italyana na nakuha pang isama sa birthday ng kanyang ama. Hindi man lang ba nito naintindihan ang salitang “simple” get-together at kailangan pang magsama ng kung sinong babaeng sigurado si Alexandra na malaki ang boobs at puwit. Hindi ba at iyon naman ang type ni Connor? Base sa mga babaeng nakita niyang nilandi nito, palaging kasama ang katangiang iyon.
At ang mga babae naman, tanga at nagpapabola sa isang tulad ni Connor na walang hindi gagawin para lang makasama ang mga babae sa kama. Well, they can have sex all they want! To hell with them!
Natigilan din si Alexandra mayamaya. Ano ba ang kanyang problema? Mag-iisang taon na mula nang soplahin niya si Connor at sabihing walang aasahan sa kanya. Sinabi pa niya nang harap-harapan na hindi ito ang “best man” para sa kanya. Pagkatapos ngayon, ikinakatwiran niya na walang tibay na maaasahan sa pangako nito. Sinabi na nga ni Alexandra na ayaw niya rito, to the extent na namintas siya, at nang lubayan siya at maghanap ng iba, naiinis siya? So kapag nangako sa kanya, ang gusto niya hindi na bibitiw habang-buhay?
Napabuntong-hininga si Alexandra at nanigas ang likod nang marinig ang pagbukas ng pinto.
“Ciao! Tanti auguri!” bati ni Connor, hinipan ang isang torotot.
“Tanti auguri!” bati rin ng babaeng kasama nito.
The house came alive upon Connor’s arrival. Hindi kayang itanggi ni Alexandra ang katotohanang iyon. His presence was warm always, distracting in a good way. Niyakap nito si Dad Richard, maging si Luca. He was full of life, he was vibrant. Parang hiniwa ang puso ni Alexandra. One thing she had to admit, he seemed happy. Happy with this woman she had to admit looked decent and kind. Hindi tulad ni Nadia ang babae o ng kahit na sinong nakita niyang nilandi ni Connor. This woman had a kind face. Alam niyang hindi tamang manghusga base sa hitsura, pero ayon nga sa iba, ang ganitong uri ng babae ang uring magandang iharap sa magulang.
“Grazie, grazie,” sabi ni Dad Richard. Pinaupo nito ang mga bagong dating.
Tumingin kay Alexandra si Connor at tumango, saka siya kinumusta. “Come va?”
“Bene, grazie.”
“And who is the lovely lady?” tanong ni Luca sa wikang-Italyano.
“Guys, I would like you all to meet Giovanna. Vanna, this is my father Richard, his daughter Alexandra, and this gentleman here is a good family friend, Luca.”
Nakangiting binati ng dalawang lalaki si Vanna kaya bumati rin si Alexandra, kahit wala siyang maisip sabihin. Pinakain na nila ang mga bagong dating. Nagpakuwento si Luca kay Vanna kung saan ito nagkakilala at si Connor.
“Funniest thing,” sabi ng babae na marunong palang mag-Ingles kahit makapal ang Italian accent. “I was waiting for my father to pick me up in front of a Thai Restaurant in Milan. I wasn’t feeling well. I have a sensitive stomach, but I ate too much sriracha. Anyway, it started to rain and I didn’t have an umbrella. This man came out of the restaurant and offered me his. He was very nice. He offered to carry my shopping bags as well and took me home. As they say, the rest is history.”
“Yes, he likes picking up girls that way.” Natigilan si Alexandra nang ma-realize na nasabi pala niya iyon nang malakas. It was just a thought! Napahiya siya, pero biglang tumawa—sana hindi mahalata ni Vanna na fake ang kanyang tawa. Nagpanggap siyang joke lang ang nasabi. “Gotcha! I was just kidding!”
Salamat at naging palihim ang nasabi niya. Marami pa silang napagkuwentuhan hanggang sa isilbi na niya ang kape. Wala siyang gustong gawin kundi ang umalis na sa komedor at magpunta sa kuwarto. Ayaw na niyang marinig ang magiging usapan pa. Habang tumatagal, ayaw man ni Alexandra ay nagugustuhan niya si Vanna. She was an intelligent woman and seemed kind, too. Sa isang rehabilitation facility ang trabaho nito. She seemed passionate about helping others. Maayos din ang pamilya nito. Butcher ang ama at teacher naman ang ina.
Nang matapos ang hapunan, muntik nang tumutol si Alexandra nang hindi bigyan ng kanyang ama ng nakabukod na kuwarto si Vanna. She felt so stupid. Ano sila, bata? Pero nang nasa sarili nang kuwarto, hindi naman siya mapakali. Hanggang sa magsawa na siya sa kakabiling-biling sa kama. Lumabas siya at naghanap ng makakain sa kusina.
“How are you?”
Hindi na niya kailangang lumingon para malamang si Connor iyon. “I’m great. Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be busy right now?”
Kailangan niyang sawayin ang sarili sa pagiging sarcastic. Wala siyang karapatan at nakakahiya ang labas niya sa ginagawa.
“You seem mad.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just tired.”
“You don’t sound tired. In fact, you sound like you have a lot of energy when it comes to expressing your annoyance. Is something the matter?”
“I said I’m just tired. Do you need anything?”
“Relax. I stay here every now and then so I pretty much know where everything is.” Nilagpasan siya nito, binuksan ang cupboard at kumuha ng energy bar.
“Need a Red Bull, stud?” hindi nakatiis na tanong ni Alexandra.
“Man, the acid in your words sizzles. Why are you so mad at me?”
“I’m very tired. I’m not fit to talk to any human being right now. I better get some rest. I helped Dad cook all day.”
“You sound a little jealous, to be honest.”
Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Alexandra, halos malaglag ang panga. “Me? Jealous? Oh, please!”
“Yes. You. Jealous.” Humakbang palapit sa kanya si Connor. Now their faces were an inch from each other. “I think I’m right.”
“Y-you have never been more wrong.” Bahagyang napaatras si Alexandra. What the hell was he trying to do anyway?!
“Oh, yeah?”
“Oh, y-yes!” Get away from me!
“Prove it.”
“How the hell—” Bago pa matapos ni Alexandra ang sinasabi, nahapit na siya ni Connor sa baywang, saka hinagkan sa mga labi. God, the warmth of his lips, the taste of those damned lips were intoxicating. Ilang gabing napanaginipan ni Alexandra na hinahagkan uli ang mga labing iyon. She kissed him back, with all the passion in her heart.
And then she wanted to cry for she realized something—she was in love with this jerk from then until this very second. When he took her heart he never gave it back.
“I guess my job here is done.”
Napasinghap si Alexandra, saka naitulak palayo si Connor. Standing a few feet from them was Vanna.
“I’m so sorry,” sabi ni Alexandra, pahiyang-pahiya, nanliliit at gustong lumubog sa kinatatayuan.
“For why?” tanong ni Vanna, tumawa. “He’s not my boyfriend. Did he introduce me as his girlfriend? I don’t recall he did.”
Nalito si Alexandra. “I don’t understand.”
“He’s not my boyfriend. I happen to be engaged to his accountant.”
Ilang sandali bago iyon naintindihan ni Alexandra. Napakahirap paniwalaan. “Accountant?”
“I started a few businesses,” sabi ni Connor, parang bahagyang napahiya. “Legal ones, of course. You’re not the only one who can clean up, you know.”
“Oh.” Magkakahalo ang naramdaman ni Alexandra. Bukod sa pagkagulat, nagsimula rin siyang makadama ng kasiyahan. Hinding-hindi niya inasahan na makakaisip si Connor na magbagong-buhay. He seemed to enjoy the adrenaline rush of the job. “Wait,” baling niya kay Vanna. “Why did you make it seem like you’re together?”
“He said he just needed the support of a friend and I came with him. Seems too afraid to see you on his own.”
“No, it’s not that,” tanggi ni Connor, pulang-pula ang mukha.
“Ah-ah-ah! Don’t make me look like a liar. Now, be a good boy, Connor, and grab me a beer,” sabi ni Vanna.
Parang nalito si Connor, pero kumuha ng beer sa ref at iniabot kay Vanna, saka sinabi, “I was not afraid to see you, Alexandra. I just, you know…”
“No, I don’t know. I don’t understand,” sabi niya.
“Do you really not?”
Nagtama ang kanilang mga mata. Hindi maipaliwanag ni Alexandra kung ano ang nararamdaman. Napakabilis ng tibok ng kanyang puso. Parang sasabog ang dibdib sa kaba. Gusto niyang maniwala, kaya mali siguro ang sabihing hindi niya naiintindihan. She understood, but she was afraid to understand.
Hindi alam ni Alexandra kung ano ang sasabihin. Kung magtitiwala uli siya, baka siya na naman ang mapahiya. How many times could she allow herself to believe this man who had lied before? God, her mind was telling her no, but her heart was begging her to give him another chance.
Si Connor ang unang nagsalita. “So... how have you been?”
“I’ve been good. Y-you?”
“Miserable.”
Hindi nakapagsalita si Alexandra. Ayaw niyang sabihin kay Connor na ganoon din siya. Sa loob ng nakalipas na taon, naging busy siya sa pag-aasikaso sa mga naiwan ng ina, sa kanyang buhay, pero malungkot. Sinunod niya ang sinabi ng isip, pero hindi naman siya masaya. Palagi niyang naiisip si Connor, kahit pinipilit niyang mawala na ang lalaki sa kanyang isip. Ngayon, sinasabi nitong naging miserable rin ito. Gustong-gusto na niyang maniwala.
“I will never be the best man you can have… but… well…” Namula ang mga pisngi nito. “I was thinking maybe I can try… I never gave up on you, I was just trying to see if maybe something has changed. Or if maybe… something can be done. If maybe I won’t look too stupid so I brought her. Maybe—”
“Maybe I don’t need the best man. Maybe I just need a man who can make me happy.”
Biglang lumiwanag ang mukha ni Connor. “And maybe I can be that man.”
“Maybe you can prove it.”
“Maybe I can start as soon as possible.”
“M-maybe we can try that.” Tumingin si Alexandra sa lalaki, puno ng kaba.
“Funny thing is, I can see you’re scared, but you don’t understand, honey, that you have my heart in your hands. You can easily crush it.”
“Kiss me then. Take my fear away.”
He did. He kissed her thoroughly. He kissed her like he had never kissed her before. Nang maghiwalay ang kanilang mga labi, kapwa may hingal ang kanilang paghinga. She held onto his shoulders.
“Maybe this time it can work,” bulong ni Alexandra.
“Maybe deep inside we both know it will.”
Tumango si Alexandra, napangiti. She looked at Connor’s face, her heart warm and pounding in her ears. “I love you.”
“I love you more.”