I texted Brett using my new number—I mean, the number that Nick lent me.
Four PM tomorrow. Front gate, university.
Immediately, my phone rang.
“The fuck, dude! You have no idea what hell we’ve been through looking for you!” Brett’s voice was raised and agitated.
“What?”
“Your phone was off. I didn’t know where you were. I went to your house. Nobody wanted to let me in. They said that you ran away from home without telling anybody where you were off to. I had to force myself to speak to your father. He said he had no idea where you were, and he didn’t care. In fact, he looked happy that you were gone! He gave me your wallet and told me that if I saw you, I should give it to you. What happened? Where were you?”
I took time to process what Brett was saying. The mention of my father suddenly made me cringe. I had to close my eyes for a moment to let the surge of panic and fear settle down.
I felt a warm hand caress my nape, providing me comfort and some proof that I was not alone. I leaned my body toward Nick’s. His warmth gave me the courage to go on with my conversation with Brett.
“I’m staying with a friend.”
“Shit! I thought you were through with Gracie! What the fuck are you doing staying with her?”
“What gave you the idea that I was with Jen?”
“You said you’re with a friend. Gracie was your only friend.”
“Thanks a lot, dude!” I said sarcastically. “I’m staying outside of town.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m done with that man I used to call my father, Brett. I’m not going back to that house.”
“I can’t say I don’t support your decision, but would you mind telling me why?”
I took a deep breath. Memories of that night came rushing back to me again. I focused on the warmth of Nick’s body against my back and the comfort of his fingers lazily massaging my nape.
“He’s no longer my father. Please, do not speak his name in front of me. I am not his daughter anymore. I want nothing to do with him. I’m just waiting to finish the next few months of university, and I’ll be out of this town, where he couldn’t find me.”
There was silence on the other end of the line. “Okay. But where are you? Are you safe?”
That was a question I could easily answer. “I am. Do not worry about me. I was just going to ask you to go to the house, take my passports, my IDs, and some other things that were my mom’s and Isabella’s. I’m not taking anything that Robert Clarke gave me.”
“O-okay,” Brett said. “I’ll see you in school.”
Silence.
I could feel the lump in my throat. Tears started welling up in my eyes.
“Ken, you know you can trust me, right?” Brett’s voice was gentle.
“Yes.” I was crying, but I couldn’t let him know that. Not yet. If Brett found out what happened, he’d go after my father, or he’d tell his dad. And if my father could hire a rapist to defile his daughter, no doubt, he had the guts to hire a hitman to murder his brother and nephew. I’d keep this from Brett for their own good, not mine.
“Are you okay?”
I took another sharp breath. “I am. Don’t worry about me. I’m in…” I thought about Nick and how he saved me, protected me, and comforted me. “… good hands.”
“Okay, see you later.”
When I hung up, I felt that my hands were shaky. I tried my best to text all the things that I needed Brett to pick up for me. When I finished, I put the phone on the table. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt Nick pull me to him gently. I turned to him and wound my arms around his waist, burying my face against his chest.
He didn’t say anything. He just held me, listened to my whimpers, and absorbed the pain I took out of my system. I hated feeling like this, but I couldn’t help breaking down emotionally at the thought of my father and what he did to me.
When the tears subsided, I pulled away from Nick. I stared at my toes, unable to look at him. I felt him put an arm around my shoulder and pull me to him again.
“I hate this feeling. I feel broken,” I admitted.
“It’s only been a few days, kitten,” Nick said in a soothing voice. “You’ll be whole again. But give yourself time. I know it’s easier said than done. But I promise you, we’ll fix it.” He tilted my chin up so I could look into his eyes. He wiped my tears with his thumbs. “You do not look broken to me. You might be in shock or pain, but you’ll never be broken. And even if you are, I will do everything I can to make you whole again.”
“Why are you doing this?”
He smiled at me ruefully. “Because I want to. Sometimes, you do not need an explanation for the things that you want to do. You just want to. No logic, no explanation.”
I looked down at my toes once again. I leaned my head forward, and it touched Nicholas’s chin. We stood like that for a while, with his arms wrapped around my waist and my hands rested against his firm chest.
I took deep breaths to calm my hammering pulse and beating heart. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself being this close to a man. But amazingly, I didn’t feel disgusted. Instead, I felt comfortable, as though I was always meant to be held like this. I needed warmth, comfort, and protection.
And damn it! Nicholas Atkins is now synonymous with all those things.
I didn’t care that he was a guy, and I grew up hating guys.
I adjusted my head so that it rested against Nick’s shoulder. I closed my eyes and hugged him. I didn’t care anymore. Right now, being in Nick’s arms felt too damn right.
He tightened his grip around my waist. Then he bent and scooped me up in his arms. I closed my eyes and allowed him to carry me upstairs and settle me on the bed. I didn’t need to say it. I couldn’t. But he knew. He took me in his arms and held me until I fell into a peaceful sleep.
When I opened my eyes again, it was already morning. I was lying on my side, facing the window. I could feel Nick’s body nestled comfortably behind me, with his arm resting over my waist.
I waited for that feeling, that feeling that was supposed to tell me that this wasn’t right. That this was icky and disgusting because Nicholas was a man, and I didn’t trust men, and I found this utterly revolting, like an act of betrayal against my life-long beliefs.
But nothing came. I did not find this disgusting at all.
Damn! This thing with Nick is something else.
“Slept well?” I heard him ask.
I closed my eyes for a moment, and then I put on a brave face and turned to face him. “Yes. Thank you.”
He nodded. “I miss you saying ‘whatever.’”
I raised a brow at him and then gave him a playful push. I turned around and stood up from the bed. Before I went to the bathroom, I turned to him and said, “Whatever.”
Before I closed the door, I saw him having the widest grin on his face.
I stared at the mirror for a long time. I suddenly developed this dependence on Nick. I was broken, I wasn’t myself, and I needed him so I could quickly get over my post-traumatic episodes and nightmares.
Right?
I looked at my flushed face in the mirror.
Right?
I closed my eyes, and immediately, Nick’s perfect abs flashed in my mind, and I started feeling hot.
Fuck! I need a cold shower!
I stayed a full five minutes under the cold running water. I was trying to forget the memory of Nick’s body attached to mine all night, trying to forget the feeling of his arms around me, the warmth of his embrace that enveloped me all night, protecting me, keeping me safe from my nightmares.
When I was sure I was normal again, I hit the stop button of the shower and went out of the bathroom. I dried my skin and hair and wore a pair of jeans and a white shirt. I put on the new sneakers I had just bought, which reminded me that I needed to see Brett so I could withdraw some money from the little savings I had and pay Nicholas back for my clothes.
I stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was growing longer now. I had a visible bruise on my cheek, and the cut on my lip might have dried up, but it was still noticeable.
When I went down to the living room, Nick was waiting for me on the couch. He was fresh from the shower and dressed in jeans and a black shirt with a tribal design.
“Nice shirt,” I said.
He teased me by saying, “You can borrow anytime.”
“Speaking of that, do you have a cap and a pair of shades that I could borrow?”
He nodded and disappeared into one of the rooms on the ground floor. I followed him.
The room we entered was considerably smaller than his room. It had a long table full of blueprints, two iMacs, and a large black sofa bed. This was probably Nick’s study.
“So this is where all your creative works are born,” I said.
He nodded. “I’m here more than any part of the house when I have a project. Sometimes, I work throughout the night, and I don’t have time to crawl into bed. I just camp on the couch.”
“Nice,” I said. I would probably do the same if my work required me to work late. This room overlooked the pool and the city beyond it. It was cozy but professional. Nick knew how to combine practicality and creativity in his designs.
Nick put a black cap over my head. And then he handed me a pair of shades that was a little too big for me but just right to cover the bruise on my cheek.
“Do I still look like a victim of attempted rape?” I asked him seriously.
Nick raised a brow at me. “No! What the hell are you talking about? You look like you just came from a brawl, and you beat the hell out of somebody. If you pout your lips more, raise a brow constantly and look permanently angry at the world, I’d say you’re a whole lot scarier than the last Ken Clarke the world had seen.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Nicholas smiled at me. I was thankful for his attempt to lift my spirits. Yes, nobody knew what really happened to me, except for four people. Two of them wouldn’t dare open their mouths unless they wanted to end up in jail. The two other people were Nick and me, and I sincerely believed Nick would not sell me out.
“I guess you’re right. I only needed to look tough. Nobody, except for you and me, knew I was afraid to sleep by myself at night.” There was frustration in my voice, and I was sure Nick heard it.
“Well, I won’t tell a soul.” Then he looked at me mischievously. “Not yet, at least. Maybe someday, it would make a good blackmailing chip.” I gave him a jab on the stomach. “Ouch! We should start making rules about the hitting. More specifically, you hitting me.”
I raised a brow at him. “Really?”
“Yeah. I was always at the receiving end of it. Seemed only fair you get something in return.”
My eyes widened. “Seriously? You’d hit a girl?”
“Now, you’re playing that card, huh?” He smiled at me triumphantly. It was the same smile he had at the pool when I told him he had this hopeless need to save people. “Okay, what about one jab, one kiss?”
For a moment, I was stunned. My mouth went dry, and my heart beat a little bit faster. I couldn’t believe what I heard from him. “K-kiss?”