Obsessed?
I was left there, staring at her back and the hem of her pink sundress flowing behind her. That was six years of friendship walking away from me. Six years of nothing.
Six years of… what the fuck was I thinking?
I realized that everybody in the corridor was now staring at me. But the embarrassment I felt was nothing compared to the sting of Jen’s words. It was nothing compared to the anger that was threatening to burst out of me.
Shit! This is what I get after everything I did for her?
Obsessed? Did Jen think I wanted more than friendship from her? Is that what everybody thinks?
I turned around toward the exit. I could feel eyes following me. I could hear the buzzing sound as they started to gossip.
Who the fuck cares?
No matter what they say or do, they could not make this day any worse than it already was.
When I parked in front of my house, I noticed a car parked across the street. There were two guys sitting inside. They looked at me for a brief moment, and then they rolled up the window and drove away.
Weirdos!
Whether they were friends of my father or not, I couldn’t care less. My father wasn’t here, so they could come back another day with their business.
When I got to my room, I took off my pants, my shoes, and my jacket. I sat on my balcony wearing only a shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. I drank beer as I flipped through my planner to ensure I was on schedule with my thesis papers. I also sorted out my finances to see how much money I had saved up.
I was distracting myself.
I couldn’t go to Rhythemes because Brett would only ask about my foul mood. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he had always been right about Jen. At least, not yet.
I have two months before I can finally get that degree. Then I’ll be free to move out, move to a different city. Leave this place behind. Leave my father. Leave Jen. Brett can always come and visit me wherever I decide to settle in. He’s the only family I have. And now, I think he also might be my only friend.
I realized that now that Jen was gone, I had to make major changes in my life. I molded my future around her because I thought she would need me. Turned out she couldn’t wait to get rid of me.
Now, I have no best friend, no band, and no haircuts.
I’d probably go with Brett’s suggestion to grow my hair long and get a cornrow hairstyle. I wondered how my father would react to that.
I missed playing drums. Brett was back to his old glorious self and could now handle playing at Rhythemes by himself. The last time I played was that day with the kids and Nicholas.
Nicholas…
I have to admit, he was not such a bad guy. He did give me a ring once in a while. I never picked up. Now that I was out of his way, nothing would stop him from getting on with Jen.
I didn’t know why I found the thought quite revolting. I felt nauseous. In fact, it was physically revolting that my stomach felt queasy. I dropped my planner to the floor and quickly ran to my bathroom.
I threw up most of what I ate for dinner. When I recovered, I brushed my teeth and stared at my flushed face in the mirror.
Something didn’t feel right. I felt as though something was missing. I just didn’t know what it was.
Then suddenly, my heart hammered in my chest. I walked back to my room to get my planner. I flipped through the pages and found that day last month. The number ten was circled red. I flipped back one more month and found the same red circle on the numbers twelve and fourteen on the month before that. It had always been like that since I was a teenager. It’s like clockwork. It never skipped, never missed… except this month.
I looked at the calendar for the current month. I didn’t remember marking a day at all. And if I were to use my scientific knowledge and my body clock, I should be marking the number eight. But it was already the fifteenth, and there was nothing.
Shit! It’s impossible.
I knew there was no way in hell this could happen. I knew there was no instance when I could be—
No shit! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!
I felt all the hairs in my body stand as I remembered that morning I didn’t wake up in my own bed. That was three weeks ago.
I stared at the numbers in my planner for a long time until I finally made sense of it all. I couldn’t remember anything. I completely blacked out that night.
I quickly dressed in my jeans and grabbed my jacket and car keys. I got into my car and drove in high gear. I was going for a hunt. I was out for blood. And I knew whose blood it was going to be.
Tonight, I am going to kill Nicholas Atkins!
I drove to Rhythemes, hoping he would be there. I ran into Brett at the door.
“Hey, dude. Gonna watch us tonight?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Not tonight, bro. Have you seen Nicholas Atkins anywhere?”
He shook his head and gave me a confused look. “Why?”
“Nothing. I just need to give him something.”
A fatal stab straight to the heart!
“Well, when I see him, I’ll let him know you’re looking for him.”
I just nodded, putting on a nonchalant expression so that Brett wouldn’t suspect anything. If he knew what was going on in my mind, he would stop my plans of murdering Nicholas—so he could do it himself! But I didn’t want to involve anybody. This was between Atkins and me.
I drove to the diner. I really didn’t want Margaret and the rest of the people there to witness what I was going to do. They loved Nicholas, and it would break their hearts. But I would rather he was at the diner than on the other side of town. I’d never get out of there alive if I hurt a hair on Nicholas’ body. Those kids would kill for him.
When I reached the diner, I finally found him having coffee and a good laugh with Margaret and Grandpa Chef.
When Margaret saw me coming, she smiled widely. “Ken, dear. How lovely to see you!”
I forced a smile to my face. When Nicholas saw me, his face lit up.
“Hi!” His smile was warm and genuine.
I found three pairs of smiling eyes looking at me. I lost the heart to greet Nicholas with a power punch.
“C-can we step outside? I need to talk to you,” I said. My voice was grave, laced with warning. I was sure Nicholas didn’t miss it.
“Okay,” he said. I turned around toward the door, not waiting for him to argue or ask further questions.
Once we were outside, I took a couple of deep breaths.
“Hey, everything all right?” His voice was gentle and full of concern. I fought the urge to calm down and soften up to him.
He cannot fool me this time!
Nicholas Atkins was not the angel I thought he was over the past three weeks. Now, I knew why he was being nice to me, the deceitful son of a bitch!
I spun around, and without warning, I launched a punch at his face. He was taken by surprise, the force of my punch causing him to take a step back.
He stared at me with a confused expression on his face. “What was that for?”
“You son of a bitch!” I shouted and punched him again. He was ready for me this time. He caught my wrists with his hands and struggled to hold me back, to keep me steady.
“Calm down! What did I do?”
“What did you fucking do? You don’t know?! You fucking raped me, you asshole!” I struggled to free my hands. “Let go of me! Let go so I can fucking kill you!”
“What?”
My revelation caught him by surprise, that he loosened his grip on my hands.
Taking advantage of his momentary lapse of concentration, I managed to attack him again. He took one more blow to his jaw, and this time he almost fell to the ground had he not managed to gain his footing.
He had a bewildered look on his face. In fairness to the motherfucker, he looked genuinely shocked and confused.
“You took advantage of me when I blacked out that night, and you took me home!” I shouted. “You raped me! And now, I’m fucking pregnant!”
I launched another series of attacks on him. He managed to dock and thwart all my punches, and then he got a hold of my wrists again.
“Jesus Christ, calm down!” he said. “Let’s talk about this without you trying to murder me.”
He tried his best to tame me, but I was on fire. I had never felt so small, so abused, so disrespected. Was he really a sex maniac that he just couldn’t restrain himself? He just had to relieve himself regardless of whether the other person was helpless, drunk, or asleep.
I managed to free my right hand from his grip. I punched him with it, but I only managed to hit his shoulder. I aimed for him again.
“Mackenzie Belle Clarke!” His voice was louder, clearer, and firmer this time. “Stop!”