ARTEMIS' POV
I've lost track of time, staring at the walls and ceilings.
I've been forcing all the painful thoughts aside, deciding to feel nothing and think of nothing, numbing everything with wine and alcohol.
It's not as effective as I'd like, but it's something.
Maybe with time, it will get easier to drown all thoughts of her away, to resign myself to emotionless freedom and be my old self again.
With time, I won't have to pathetically mope around like a wounded pup over a girl. Sera...
She's the only thing that's ever made me feel something other than repulsion. She ignited an unquenchable fire inside me, alongside emotions I never thought possible.
But that's history now.
I take a final swig from the tall bottle of whiskey. I've heard of its effectiveness in humans, but it only tickles my gut a bit, and the burn isn't so bad.
My head spins, but only slightly. Yet, I can feel the thoughts in my head arranging themselves accordingly, pushing everything regarding her to a corner that will never be touched again.
Now there's a knock on the door-three light knocks, then silence.
I easily guess that it's not Jasper; he would have pushed the door open by now.
"Go away," I mutter, throwing the bottle to the floor.
The hard glass hits the ground without shattering, rolling to meet the rest of its conquered brothers on the floor.
Bottles from yesterday that I haven't cleaned up yet and probably won't, until I find the strength in me to care about it at all.
Another knock echoes from the door: three taps again, then silence. I ignore it, knowing eventually they'll go away and leave, taking their nuisance with them.
I've made it perfectly clear to everyone else that I want to be alone. Whoever it is clearly has a death wish.
Another knock echoes for the third time, and I'm pissed. My anger rises quickly, like a volcano erupting unexpectedly.
"Fuck off!" I roar, a warning.
Don't disturb me.
Yet the intruder ignores every single warning.
The door creaks open, and a small head peeps through, jet black hair falling over her shoulders. She takes a look, then walks in fully, closing the door behind her and adjusting her glasses.
I immediately recognize her face. I'm tempted to lunge at her for disturbing me, but instead, I sigh deeply.
"Wow, you look worse than Jasper described," she says, looking me over from a safe distance.
I growl, fully irritated by her presence and the mention of Jasper's name.
"Did he send you here after I kicked him out, hoping I'd be softer on you because you're a girl?" I scoff, reaching for a new bottle of alcohol. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but I won't be nicer to you, Sera's friend or not. You're wasting your time."
I crack the cap off and take a full swing, focusing on the bitterness mixed with barley. It's strangely calming, keeping my emotions in check.
"Right," she says, stepping closer and beginning to pick up the bottles. "How many bottles have you had already?"
I shrug, waiting for her to see the futility of her actions. But she's annoyingly resilient, stacking them in one corner, visibly pleased with the reduced clutter.
Yet she doesn't leave.
"Don't you used to be scared of me? I remember bullying you so hard you pissed yourself once," I taunt.
"It was orange juice that one of your idiotic friends spilled on me," she replies calmly, eyes narrowing slightly. "You lied and said it was pee."
"Still, a funny joke," I chuckle, mocking her, hoping she'll take the hint and leave.
But her eyes are resilient, stubborn even.
I frown and take another swing, but she's quick. She snatches the bottle from my hands and puts distance between us.
I glare, contemplating my next actions, but she meets my gaze, hands trembling.
"I think I preferred you when you were scared. The fear in your eyes, the way you cowered... It was more thrilling than anything else," I say, circling her slowly.
She shivers, a hint of that old fear flashing in her eyes. But she takes deep breaths, summoning her confidence again.
"Ah, but there's nothing much to be scared of, is there? You look like a washed-out, watered-down version of yourself. Sad and pathetic. Rather than fear, you should be pitied." Her words taunt me, a visceral stab that hits right at home.
With a snarl, I frown and bare my teeth at her.
"Watch your tongue. I could still break you in half with ease."
"With the way you are right now? I'd like to see you try."
We're locked in a staring match, eyes unyielding, waiting to see who cracks first. Not once do her eyes twitch or blink. This is not the timid Olivia I once knew; she's transformed 180 degrees, and I can easily guess why.
The fire in her eyes reminds me of one person-the only person I know who could stare down just about anyone, no matter their size or strength. The only one who could inspire such unimaginable strength in someone else.
As I look at her, my rage wanes and my heart softens. Emotions I've tried to bury for days come flooding back, and I surrender to them.
"How is...she?"
Her frown fades, and her squared shoulders slump. "If you really wanted to know, you'd have found out yourself."
I sigh, running my hands through my hair as I look away. She thinks it's that easy. Everyone thinks it's that easy, but it's not.
Facing her, seeing that tortured look in her eyes-I'd cave, throw my heart into her hands to be crushed all over again.
"You know I can't."
"I actually don't know that. Why can't you?"
I remain silent, unable to answer, unable to find the words that would put everything into perspective.
"She's not fine," Olivia sighs. "She's sad and depressed. Hasn't left her room for a while. She wants to apologize, but you won't let her."
"I don't want her apology."
"That's fine, but you can't keep turning her away just to hurt her."
"I'm not trying to hurt her. This is what she wanted-for me to keep my distance. Even if I never found out, she wanted this."
"That's because she thought she had no choice. You forced her into a contract, broke her trust, and your serpent of a girlfriend was driving a hard bargain at the time."
"She had a choice!" I yell, spinning back to face her, my breath coming in ragged gasps. "She could've talked to me, told me how she felt, asked for whatever she needed. I would have given it to her; I would have listened."
"Would you?" She pierces me with a searching look, and I falter.
Avoiding her gaze, I throw my hands in the air.
"Well, using me is hardly better than having a goddamn conversation!"
She snaps. "Oh my goodness, you don't even see how hypocritical you are! Coming from someone who has no idea how to respect a woman's wishes, how not to trample on her feelings. You've used girls like objects for years and never felt a shred of guilt for ruining so many lives just to satisfy your own desires."
And this time, she's right up in my face, fuming.
Yelling and thrusting a condemning finger in my face, she forces me to shut up and actually listen. After a moment of panting, she regains her composure.
"She's so much better than you are," are her final words.
She's right.
Like a bolt of lightning, the epiphany strikes.
All my actions, my whiny and pitiful behavior for days-it all floods back. I've squandered chances to make things right because I was too stuck in my self-pity.
She had wanted nothing to do with me, and I couldn't blame her. I'd hung the contract over her like a golden cage, and for someone like Sera who wants her freedom more than anything, that was wrong.
Friends, or whatever the fuck we are, doesn't work on the terms of a contract. It's supposed to be genuine. Loyal. Self-less.
And truly, we've both failed at both. I'd been hell-bent on torturing her existence during her first few weeks here, and although we weren't friends yet, that kind of garbage history makes me the least deserving of her.
I fucked up.
Just as I open my mouth to speak, my phone rings from the counter. Olivia strides over, glances at the screen, and hands it to me with expectant eyes.
"It's Jasper. You might want to take this."
I nod, swiping to accept the call. "Hey."
"Artemis?"
"Yeah?" I arch a brow, alarmed by the tremor in his voice and the heavy breathing from the other end.
"Oh Goddess, something's happened."
"What?"
Jasper hesitates, swallowing audibly before taking a steadying breath-sounds I can hear all too clearly.
"Something's happened with Sera."
Time freezes. A shiver courses through my veins, turning my blood to ice. My body tenses, gripped by an undeniable dread as my mind races through the worst-case scenarios.
"What happened?"