SERAPHINA'S POV
My eyes flutter open sometime in the night, observing the ceiling in front of me.
I turn, trying to get a sense of my surroundings. Through the window, it's still dark out, making it hard to tell if it's very late or very early.
A movement to the left catches my attention. It's Olivia, quietly rolling up the rug in the room.
Weird.
Attempting to sit up, a sharp pain hits my head, and I groan, drawing her attention. Her hurried footsteps approach, and I feel her warm hands checking the top of my head.
"Are you okay?" She asks, sounding worried.
Why? I was just sleeping. Yet there's an itch in my mind, a sensation of forgetting something important.
Unconsciously, my eyes move to the floor, and the sight of thick red liquid triggers a barrage of fragmented memories.
Most of them seem incomplete.
I remember that Artemis was here, and we were talking. I remember things got hot at some point, really hot. The feel of his skin on mine was electric. Our bodies felt like two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together.
Then, everything goes blank, a vast stretch of darkness until I woke up just seconds ago.
"Where's Artemis?" I ask Olivia, panic evident in my voice.
Did we go all the way? Is that why I can't remember?
Her face is solemn, giving away that whatever answer I might get from her won't be comforting.
I sigh and fall back on my bed.
"Did I fuck it up?"
"I guess you could say that," she begins, taking a seat beside me. "You went berserk again tonight."
My blood suddenly runs ice-cold, looking up at her in frozen fear, waiting for her to laugh it off as a joke. But her features remain serious.
There's no joke there. Plus, it explains the blood.
Oh my god, the blood.
My heart immediately begins pounding faster.
"Was he here? Did I hurt him?"
She nods slowly, confirming my biggest fears.
"When I came in, he was already bleeding, and the floor was a mess of broken glass and, well, the blood. You were over him, pinning him down to the floor and choking him."
I gasp, clasping my hands over my lips, feeling fear grip me. Fear from the things I had done without knowing, fear that I could possibly hurt someone else one day in one of these blackouts.
"I got to you in time, though, knocked you out before he could have gotten worse, and then he left."
"Did he... did he say anything?"
"He seemed worried. He asked what was going on, but I dodged the question. He's curious, and he'd have questions, Sera."
I sigh deeply, hugging my legs to my chest and burying my face in them from morbid shame.
I really attacked him. I really attacked Artemis. I feel more guilt than ever, hurting someone I never wanted to come into harm's way unconsciously.
At this point, I can't even recognize who I am.
Accepting deals to sleep with someone and then almost hurting them because I can't control this thing living inside myself.
It's almost as though I'm becoming a monster.
A wicked monster.
Tears fill my eyes, and I sniffle.
"Hey," Olivia speaks up, patting my back. "It's okay; I stopped you."
"What if you weren't here? What if I had done something worse?"
"You wouldn't have."
"How are you so sure? These days, I can do just about anything regardless of the consequences. I'm selfish."
"You're desperate for answers, and I can understand that. It's hard to make certain decisions to fix things, and you did that. You made a sacrifice for what needs to be done."
"Yeah, but I wasn't able to fulfill my own end. I failed, Olive, and now possibly Kamila won't ever give me that key."
I break into a sob, overwhelmed with self-loathing and the weight of the moment.
She doesn't utter another word, simply holds me, consoling me with gentle pats on my back, allowing me to release all the pent-up emotions.
***
Morning rolls by, and though I've never been so desperate to skip school, I can't afford to today. My attendance record is already hanging by a thread, and I need every point to boost my grades.
There's no more room for slacking off, even if I did have a near-death experience that affected my attendance. I can't let that be my excuse to stop chasing excellence.
But going to school means I'll have to face Artemis.
A whirlwind of emotions engulfs me: dread, excitement, and apprehension. I'm terrified of how he now perceives me.
Will he think of me as a crazy, sleepwalking psychopath?
Will he still greet me with the warm smile he has every morning?
Amidst all my anxiety, I can't help but dwell on that kiss.
It was perfectly enticing, filled with passion and heat. Every moment, every detail of it, still sends sparks down my spine.
Just recalling the gentle caresses on my skin makes me shiver.
Never in a million years did I imagine that being with him could evoke such powerful feelings. That my body would not just accept, but yearn for his touch. Crave him.
And now, he's consumed my thoughts, refusing to leave.
I find myself in the school hallway, my gaze scanning the area, searching for him, wanting to apologize.
I spot him a few feet away. My heart races, my palms start to sweat, and the air around me feels heavy.
Yet, I push through, lifting my hand in a wave as I approach.
As always, he turns toward me, his blue eyes meeting mine. For a split second, they're just as bright and electric as they've always been.
"Hey," I greet, trying to sound casual as I get closer.
But his reaction isn't what I expect.
His gaze is cold and distant. Without a word, he slams his locker shut and walks right past me, acting as if I'm not there, as if I never existed.
I freeze in place, standing there with my hands still stretched out. My mind processes everything that just happened, over and over again.
He ignored me, walked past me as if I were a nasty piece of gum stuck to the wall.
It felt like I meant absolutely nothing to him.
Suddenly, I forget to breathe; my heart hurts, almost like the worst heartburn ever. I try to gulp down air, but even that causes pain.
A flurry of thoughts race through my mind. Panic sets in, making me dizzy. I grapple with what I could have possibly done wrong. Did he hate me because of what happened?
I lean against the wall, forcing myself to breathe through my lips, trying not to pass out.
What just happened? Why did he act like that? Why does this hurt so much?
Nothing makes sense anymore.
"Sera?"
I snap out of my anxious spiral, refocusing my gaze to see Kamilla.
Her ever-indifferent expression meets mine, but there's a hint of curiosity as she observes me.
I straighten up, hoping she doesn't notice my trembling, or the raw emotion evident on my face. I had hoped to postpone telling her that her plan didn't work, maybe even call it all off, but here she is.
"You look horrible."
"Yeah, I couldn't sleep."
Her eyebrows rise slightly, and I realize she's connecting my statement to last night - the night I was meant to sleep with Artemis.
Panic sets in, fearing she'll question me, push me to confess, and leave disappointed.
"Well, whatever. I came here to give you your reward."
"My reward?" Confusion clouds my thoughts, then it hits me: she probably doesn't know we didn't go through with it.
She pulls a gold-plated card from her purse and offers it to me.
"Here."
I study the card, overwhelmed by the feeling that I don't deserve it.
"Are you sure?"
She rolls her eyes, "Do you want it or not?"
I take it, letting my fingers brush over its intricate design.
This card might be the answer to all my questions, a way to determine what's wrong with me, and how to become normal again.
It's the thing I sold myself out for. The reason I did what I did.
A sharp pang of guilt strikes as I remember Artemis' face, the way he looked past me, even after our intimate moment.
After he touched me in a way no one else ever had.
"I'll see you around," Kamilla smirks, leaving me to the consequences of my choices.