SERAPHINA'S POV
Three mornings ago was the last time I saw Artemis.
The image of him laughing nervously, casting a final glance with a flimsy promise of seeing me again, is the last memory I have, and since then, he's become invisible. Absent from all his classes and clubs - well, the plausible excuse was his engagement.
Despite promising he would do something about it, it seems to have taken over every aspect of his life, including the bits that involved me, leaving me staring at places we used to hang out with a certain longing.
School feels different without him; it's colder, quieter, maybe even pointless, or perhaps it's just me, unable to get my mind off him. Aside from that, I keep having nightmares, each more terrifying than the last.
This time, I'm stabbing a person with so much hate until I finally recognize his face as Artemis. The veil lifts from my eyes, and I realize what I've done.
Each dream becomes creepier and scarier than the one before, so I've sworn myself off sleep, feeling my own mind deteriorating.
Again, I'm deep in thought in the middle of class, reminding myself not to fall asleep, unaware of how my eyelids are slowly closing on their own.
"Sera."
I jump up, gasping as my body is forced awake abruptly.
Looking around, I remember I'm in the middle of art class with a paint-soaked brush in my hand, and what doesn't look anything like the daffodils I intended to draw.
"Sera," I hear my name again and my eyes settle on the face staring at me, peeking from behind his canvas with a playful smile.
"Lucian?"
"You're awake. I was beginning to think..."
I rub my eyes, trying to fight the smile forming on my lips, something I unwillingly contacted from him.
"How long was I out?"
"For like 5 minutes. No one noticed, don't worry. Except me."
"Thanks," I mutter, feeling subtly embarrassed.
I don't dare ask if I was drooling, for fear he might actually tell me the truth.
"You okay?" he finally asks, the same smile on his lips but with more concerned eyes.
I plan to settle for the generic answer and tell him I'm perfectly fine, but then I remember it's Lucian.
It's so easy to confide in him; he's always been there, helping out when I need him. I press my lips together in deep thought before shaking my head with a tired smile.
"No... no, not really."
His smile drops, and he turns sympathetic, just as the bell rings and the class ends. Everyone becomes a mess, getting up from their stools too quickly, trying to scurry out of class.
I store away my unfinished mystery art before finding my way through the crowd and out of class, planning to move to my next one.
"Sera," he calls my name again in the middle of the busy hallway.
I pause, slowly turning to face him, hoping he doesn't ask to talk about my feelings as a way to solve my problems. Talking won't help.
It will only show me just how messed up everything is and how almost impossible it is to fix what's already been done.
"Hey."
"Hey," I respond, already bracing myself to turn down an offer.
"Want a drink?" he asks with a boyish smile that instantly confuses me.
Does he want to fix me or not?
Reluctantly and still confused, I take his outstretched hand. He pulls me along briskly, and I stagger, trying to keep up with his long strides.
As we maneuver through the busy school hall, he skillfully guides me, ensuring I don't fall or run into anything.
We walk for a few minutes before stopping at a vending machine near the outdoor library. He buys two classic drinks and hands me one.
"It's lemon," he briefly explains, stepping out.
Without bothering to mention my next class, I just follow him. He does something unusual, jumping onto the seat no one usually stands on, and then looks at me.
"Do you like music?"
"Yes."
"Who's your favorite?"
"Jordan Sparks," I respond, still unclear about what's happening.
He nods with a smile. I watch in confusion as he pulls out his phone, plays some music from the artist, and starts bobbing his head to the rhythm.
His dance moves are surprisingly good, and I can't help but smile.
Then he starts to sing. With a face like his, it seems natural to expect a voice of an angel, but that assumption is quickly proven wrong when he goes off-key the second he tries to hit a high note.
I can't contain the laughter that bursts from me instantly, shaking my ribs until they hurt and bringing tears to my eyes.
Eventually, he stops, turns off the music, and hops down from the seat.
"Tough crowd?"
"I'm sorry, just... you have so many talents," I say, forcing a tight-lipped smile, trying to seem genuine.
He chuckles, waving me off.
"You don't have to lie through your teeth. I know I can't sing; I'm actually terrible."
I sigh with relief, finally allowing myself to breathe normally.
"Thank god... that was terrible. I thought it couldn't get worse until you hit the chorus. You sounded like a dying seagull."
"Haha, I'd like to see you try hitting those notes yourself," he teases, and I roll my eyes at him.
"At least I don't try doing that all on my own. I know my limits, Lucian."
"I bet you do."
We share a small laugh that slowly fizzles out, leaving us both silently staring at the garden, with nothing else to say until he speaks again.
"How do you feel?"
I don't respond immediately, searching myself for an answer before I reply.
"Better."
"You look it, and maybe with a night's rest, you'll be as good as new," he says, smiling proudly to himself, his shoulders squared while admiring his masterpiece.
He manages to make me forget, for a while, about all the problems that have been holding me in a chokehold, making me laugh wholeheartedly for the first time in a while.
"Thank you, Lucian, again," I mutter.
He always does this without being asked, so much so that now I can't help but feel indebted to do something for him in return.
"There's no need to thank me. I just worry about you," he says, looking at me now with a distant look in his eyes.
Something much deeper than worry.
"Artemis, you like him, don't you?" he asks.
He already knows the answer; we've talked about it already, yet something about how he casually brings him up puzzles me.
"I love him," I respond, attempting to correct the word.
'Like' doesn't fully describe what I feel.
'Like' would be a lie.
Love feels right.
"Of course." He nods slowly, looking away without a smile, just a blank stare that worries me.
He was happier seconds ago.
"What is it?"
"What are you going to do when he's married to Kamila? What happens to you?" His question catches me off guard.
I thought we weren't going to talk about it.
I struggle to respond but manage to find the words.
"It's not going to happen; he's working on it," I frown.
"Is he?"
"Excuse me?" I meet his eyes, suddenly feeling offended by the suggestive question.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair and facing me again.
"Look, they've been having succession classes for the days they've not been in school together. Every day they spend together, they grow closer and closer. Regardless of how messed up their relationship is, they did love each other at some point."
I'm speechless, standing here, hearing this from him of all people leaves me without words. I can't speak without getting furious or yelling, or unleashing my anger on him.
I guess he thinks he's helping, but he isn't.
So I turn away before things get worse, and I hurt him.
"Don't talk to me right now," I say coldly.
I take a step away, and he grabs my arm, spinning me around before I can leave.
"All I'm saying is I don't want you getting your hopes up and banking on his words when he's just as hopeless as you are. I don't want you getting hurt."
"So what are you suggesting, huh? Dump him, let him have his happy ending with Kamila? Lose the person I love? It's so easy for you to say that, to judge what you don't understand!" My voice rises with the emotions I feel growing.
Any more yelling, and I don't know if I can control myself.
"No, Sera... I'm saying you should choose me."
This time, I'm speechless for a different reason, stunned, frozen like a block of ice.I stare back into his silver eyes, searching for a lie or a joke, but there's none.
He means it; he's sincere.
Lucian likes me.
"W-what?" I stutter, completely taken aback.
"I have feelings for you, Sera, as strong as his. I'm more loyal, without a mate or an engagement hovering over my head. I can love you with every fiber of my being, so you'd never need to doubt me. I can protect you too," he says earnestly.
In this situation, I'm speechless, shaking my head repeatedly in denial. His eyes plead with me not to say no, not to reject him, but I'm already caught at a crossroads of decisions.
I can't think straight, let alone add this to the bundle of complexities already weighing on me.
Not right now.
So, I back away from him slowly and then turn to run away.