SERAPHINA'S POV
Jasper carries me in his arms quietly until we're right in front of the girls' dorm. He drops me gently on my feet and pulls apart, far enough to look at me with pitiful eyes.
I hate it.
I don't want to be pitied like some sad, pathetic girl who is helpless and weak, bending to the will of the wind tossing her wherever it sees fit.
"Are you okay, Sera?" he asks, only now when I'm about to go to my room.
He hadn't said anything at all until now.
I know his intentions are innocent and he's genuinely worried about me, but I can't help but be annoyed by the gentle tone he uses, the way he looks at me like a brittle egg that will break.
Yes, I guess I am fragile right now, but I'm not so weak that such news would ruin me completely.
"I'm fine, Jasper. Don't worry about it," I say coldly, though unintentionally.
He recoils from my tone, his features turning wounded, but he doesn't say anything. I regret it. But I'm too hurt to be any other way. I can't seem to utter any kind words, not right now.
So, in order not to make matters worse, I walk straight toward the door. Olivia bids him farewell in a rushed tone and chases after me soon after.
We walk side by side quietly, no words exchanged, and I'm grateful she doesn't press me immediately, even when she is definitely brimming with curiosity about how I'm feeling, where I ran off to, how my clothes got destroyed and messy.
We walk until we get to our own room, and I walk in, immediately stripping off my dress. She walks in seconds after, closing the door behind her and walking towards her own bed, sitting silently.
I can feel her eyes on the back of my head while I change into something less filthy.
"Someone tried to kill me," I finally speak amidst searching my wardrobe for my comfy baggy t-shirts, saying it in the most casual way so she doesn't flip.
It doesn't work.
I hear her gasp with horror behind me.
"I suspect they wanted to make it seem like I killed myself after hearing about Artemis' engagement, but they... they weren't successful." I finally turn to meet her eyes, and she's crying, full-blown weeping with an endless stream of tears falling from her eyes.
I freeze in panic.
"Olive..." I begin.
"Why can't they just leave you alone already?" She starts, yelling at no one in particular to vent her frustration, and I'm too stunned by her reaction to speak. "You've been through enough already, you've suffered enough, you deserve so much happiness and yet, at every single turn... how can anyone be so cruel?"
She weeps uncontrollably, and I find myself drawing closer to her, patting her back, moved by her tears and maybe feeling a bit of my own moving toward the surface again until I force it all down again.
I numb myself to everything I don't want to feel, force all memories of tonight away, all thoughts of Artemis to the back of my mind.
He still hasn't shown himself to explain what's going on.
"Thank you, Olive. I'm fine, I survived it somehow. They couldn't hurt me."
"How?" Olivia looks at me with curiosity.
I hesitate to say the next few words, afraid they might sound too bizarre to believe, but then again, she's believed everything up to this point, hasn't she? Seen the supernatural shit up close more than once, too.
I retract the hand on her back, rubbing my palms together to calm myself.
"I think I figured out what that awakening ceremony did to me," I start.
Her attention is instantly on me, tears forgotten. She sits on the edge of her bed, leaning closer with wide eyes.
I continue, "I think it's about waking up to my full potential, my abilities maybe. The sudden outburst of energy has stopped and I can sort of control it, channel it into something else."
A quick glance at her face tells me she's confused, not fully grasping what I'm saying, but she stays quiet, thankfully. She trusts me completely and waits for me to make her understand.
"I can control my shadow, Olivia," I say, staring back at my hands, remembering what happened tonight... the man I killed by mistake.
I think.
Her head tilts with more confusion, so I decide to show her instead of trying to explain something that I don't fully understand myself.
I close my eyes, focusing hard on my inner core, until I can feel my own heartbeat, the blood rushing through my veins, the thump of my pulse. Everything else fades away, and I feel that energy inside me again, alive and powerful.
I summon it like before, telling it to bend to my will, move according to my control, and then I open my eyes.
My shadow on the floor comes to life, shifting on its own, pulling itself up from the floor slowly like a cloud of darkness until it takes my shape fully.
Olivia gasps, throwing herself backward, not actually expecting me to do what I said I could.
"Holy fuck!" she exclaims, pressing her back against the wall, still unable to look away from this thing that seems too unreal to be real.
But it is real. It's alive.
I can sense its emotions, its desire to help, to fulfill any of my wishes as long as I will it. I feel its undying loyalty to me and yet I also know it's a part of my own soul that can't live without me.
It tilts its head to the side, facing Olivia. It has no face, but I just know it's watching her, without having a single thought of its own.
It can't think unless I tell it to.
"The awakening ceremony made me stronger somehow. I can channel that chaos into manipulating my own shadow."
"Is it sentient? Can it hear me?" she asks, her fear fading as it doesn't attack.
She draws closer, more amused than startled now, looking at it with so much curiosity.
"What are you?" She asks it directly.
It looks at me, maybe hoping I have an answer.
I don't.
"I don't think it can speak, Olive."
"I guess not," she says, a brief flash of disappointment in her eyes that quickly disappears.
The shadow moves again, this time on its own, gliding across the room towards the drawer where I distinctly remember locking the book away. The lock breaks effortlessly, and it retrieves the book, dropping it into my lap.
I look down at the object I swore I'd never touch again, then back at the mass of darkness observing me, seemingly expectant.
"You want me to read this? Does it have answers about what you are?" I ask.
It nods, understanding.
Yet, I'm hesitant, skeptical about whether I'm truly prepared for the revelations this journey might bring.
"Sera?" Olivia's voice, tinged with concern, cuts through my thoughts.
"I can't do it, Olive. I don't think I'm ready. I don't want to hurt you again-I don't want to hurt anyone," I admit, the panic rising in my voice.
"You won't hurt me," she assures me, placing her hand over mine.
I appreciate her gesture, but doubt lingers. She wasn't there; she didn't see it happen when I watched my shadow snap his neck in self-defense.
"You're not sure," I counter.
"I am," she insists, her gaze steady and full of reassurance, almost making me feel foolish for fearing a book.
Taking a deep breath, I finally open the book.
It seems to anticipate my needs, flipping pages on its own until it stops at a peculiar drawing-a girl with long hair standing hands on hips, with her shadow beside her, rendered in dark charcoal as if to mirror her.
"The mark will reveal your true power," I read aloud to Olivia. "All children of Astria bear the mark, and those who carry its burden find their souls divided between darkness and light, taking on a physical form that can never be sundered-Light manifesting in flesh, the dark forever lurking in the shadows."
The words resonate, eerily familiar. I remember reading them in the red book from Artemis' room-the same ominous statement that now clicks into place.
"Light and dark... that means you and your shadow, right? Your soul was divided after the awakening. At least something finally makes sense," Olivia concludes, piecing the facts together, her excitement quite obvious.
Despite the clarity we've gained, my heart remains heavy, unable to celebrate this discovery.
Because even as I stand here, having narrowly escaped death and seemingly intact, the same ominous feeling that this is just the precursor to a greater calamity refuses to fade-the foreboding sense that this is merely the beginning of the end.