KAMILA'S POV
It's not fair that only Artemis has the liberty to disregard our bond, treating it as nothing more than an annoying shackle that binds him to me.
It's not fair that he gets to bask in the love of another, feeling the warmth of affection every single day while I loiter in his shadows, like a villain haunting him.
I crave love, too. I yearn to be adored, to be touched as though I'm something other than a mere inconvenience, an annoying pimple on one's back that doesn't want to be popped.
I want to be desired, held close, cherished, treated as if I'm too precious to be tainted by the harsh realities of our world.
So, in that moment, I let myself drown in Ace, who isn't my mate. I immerse myself in his touch, his embrace, his kisses, pushing aside all the things that, under different circumstances, should matter immensely.
I let go of every burden, allowing myself to float in this fleeting distraction.
I initiated the kiss, but he deepens it, pulling on my lips with a passion and desire I've yearned to see in Artemis.
As Ace's gentle kisses and caresses envelop me, I find myself imagining Artemis's face, focusing on his gentle blue eyes and dark hair as I press myself further into Ace's embrace.
His lips travel from mine, trailing down to my neck. They leave a sequence of hot, wet kisses that lightly nick my skin, igniting a long-dormant fire within my core-a fire that hasn't been sparked in far too long.
"Kamila," he calls my name softly.
It isn't his voice, but I imagine it is.
I close my eyes and imagine it's him moaning my name, begging to have me in his arms like this. He tries to be gentle, but that's the last thing I want right now.
I don't want a sweet experience; I want release. I want the pressure in my mind to unwind, to drown in pleasure and nothing else.
And so, I take the reins myself.
I push him away and onto the bed. He looks up at me, confused, drunk on pleasure beyond his mind and desire.
I pull my top up first and then unbuckle my jeans until I'm down to my underwear, giving him a striptease.
He sucks in his breath, biting his lower lip, desperately trying to hold himself back from lunging at me and devouring me whole.
He's starving, just as I want him to be.
I remove everything else, and he growls lowly, warning me with eyes that flash between human and the beast he tries to hold back.
I slowly approach him, pushing his upper body back before getting on my knees. I pull his shorts down and take his hard member in my hands.
The second I touch him, he rolls his eyes back, biting his lips until he draws blood.
I revel in this feeling-having someone under my thumb, someone who wants me so badly that he hurts himself in the process.
I'm high on it, feeling almost too powerful and craving even more reaction from him. I stroke him first, watching him huff and puff for air.
He begs me with his eyes to stop the tease, but I don't relent until I'm satisfied. Then, I climb onto his thigh and sink down onto him.
The moment he pierces through me, I let out a moan, feeling an intense wave of pleasure that hits me like a freight train.
He bites his lips again and swears, "Fuck," relinquishing the control I crave without a fight.
I can see how badly he wants to take over, to pin me against the wall, but he lets me ride at my own pace, ceding all command to me.
I grind back and forth, picking up the pace as I seek my own climax. Moaning loudly, I stare up at the ceiling, imagining it's Artemis watching me, holding me, filling me.
I imagine it's his scent that envelops me, his face etched with pleasure, and in that moment, I come undone.
My entire body quivers over him as I find my release, floating for those five seconds in heavenly pleasure coursing through my brain-where nothing else matters.
And then, it ends too quickly.
Suddenly, I'm back on Earth, in Ace's room, sitting on his lap while he's still inside me.
I look down to meet his brown eyes and watch him panting hard, trying too hard to hold back.
"I love you," he says, the words leaving his lips too quickly, catching me off guard.
I'm shocked, confused.
"Why?" The question comes out softer now, devoid of any previous anger. "I don't know how to love anything, how to feel anything. I can only ever use you."
His smile remains unfaltering, and I suddenly feel the urge to cry again, but I blink the tears away.
"I love you," he repeats, as if the words could change everything.
"Fool," I mutter under my breath, hoping it's too low for him to hear.
I don't need his love; I only needed companionship, and he's given that to me. There's nothing more to take.
***
I have sex with Ace two more times until we're both completely spent, passing out for goddess knows how long.
I wake up hours later, enveloped in his wide arms that cocoon me, as though shielding me from the world.
We're both naked and under his sheets, and surprisingly, none of his roommates have shown up since I arrived.
I lie there for a while, watching the subtle rise and fall of his chest as he sleeps, a peaceful look gracing his face. How I wish I could feel that kind of peace, but I don't.
I stare at him, and I feel nothing.
His warm body is comforting, but that's the extent of it-nothing more. He isn't my mate, and I'm not his.
This will never evolve into anything else.
His love is pointless.
Gently, I tug his arm off me and slide out of his hold and the sheets. I change into my clothes, hoping to leave before he wakes up and spoils this momentary happiness for him.
Though I suppose that when he does wake up and finds me gone, the same thing will happen. He'll realize that last night meant nothing and he'll move on quickly.
I know this, yet I pause once my clothes are fully on, taking a moment to look at him. His once peaceful face furrows, sensing my absence.
I lean forward and kiss him still, just because.
"Stop moping around and go to school," I whisper in his ear before leaving.
It's too early for anyone to be awake, so I don't bother sneaking through the hallways as I leave the boys' dorm, but I still walk quickly.
I'm exhausted, eager to retreat to my own room and sleep, now that all that useless emotion and stress has been relieved.
But as I approach my door, someone is waiting for me just outside it.
He's the last person I was expecting to willingly pay me a visit, especially after the last time he kicked me out, after the pain he's caused me.
Yet, seeing him, I realize I still can't harbor any resentment. If anything, my heart leaps with excitement, and I'm left breathless.
"Artemis," I utter, stunned.
He leans off the wall, meeting my eyes with a look of surprise that slowly turns into a smile.
"Kamila... can we talk?"
In that instant, I realize I lied.
I'm sorry, Ace. I am capable of love, and the only thing, the only person, I do love is Artemis.