I look up at the sunlight -permeable tree. I look at the leaves falling there. I'm always here in my tambayan aain. In front of the soccerfield with benches under the trees.
Nothing. The air here is fresh. It slightly cradles my fallen and lifeless hair. I looked up to breathe fresh air. I'm being emo again. They'll just say I'm a weird nerd.I am wearing an eyeglasses and have books always with me. Always loose hair but my clothes are trendy now.
I'm wearing eyeglass because I need it when I'm reading. I need a books for some research and to learn more. In short it's my hobby. if they have a problem with it. I can do nothing.
Why they have to waste their time to someone who dont want an attention?
I dont have to change myself just for them. This is me, I have friends. Jen and Kylie is enough. If they don't like me I don't either. Simple as that. I'm fine with it.
People now adays. The great judge. They can't see their own faults. But what is wrong with other people is that they can easily see.
It's pathetic.
My all thoughts fade when my phone rang .I answered that.
"Mom," I answered. She heaved a sigh.
"Sweety, I have something to tell you when I come back," She said on the other line. I want to get angry and I want to laugh.
But I just can't. I'm just her child. I still have a respect. Even though she has not been home for a few months. I know there's something wrong. Something I don’t really know but I feel it. She was really the only one I waited for to tell me that.
"I miss you," Even though I'm mad I still love her. The child will endure the mother. But the mother could not bear the child.
"I miss you too sweety. I hope you don't get mad." I close my eyes emphatically. my chest throbbed with anger and other emotions.
"I'll understand mom.I'll wait," I immediately ended the call. I was swayed by my senses.
I missed you so much dad. I got up and went to the bell classroom.
"You're terrible Nat! Your brain is really a monster! You're perfect on our exam! The others here are not our lessons! " Jen said in amazement and took my papers one by one.
"Reading books can't kill you Jen. Try it, It's worth it than just fucking around."
"Woah! It hurts you to speak. But I'll try, don't worry," She rolled her eyes at me.
"Where's Kylie?" I asked her. All of a sudden, you left earlier. We said goodbye immediately after the exam.
She's being weird. It's obvious.
Jenn shrugged. "I don't know maybe CR?"
I stood up to look for him.
"I'll just look. I'll be going, right?" Goodbye.
She nodded and I left.
I hold my book while walking. Someone greets me, I greet back.
I first turned to the locker room to put my thick book there. I took off my eyeglasses and put them there as well. because of the hot weather, I first went into the comfort room to wash and comb my long hair.
The clean look and cozy on the face when the hair is ponytailed.I adjusted myself and went out.
When I came out I went through the men's locker. I'll look for Kylie, she's the only one I can tell about this kind of thing. I heaved a sigh that would have passed the men's locker door when I heard a familiar voice.
"Why are you like this huh? What have I done? I'm avoiding you right !?" fuck! That's Kylie!
My forehead furrowed. Why is she inside the man’s locker? Someone’s cursed inside. A man voice.
"Stop bullying her," a deep voice said emphatically. Kylie's scoffed but I know she's crying.
"I'm not bullying her! Okay fine! You like her right? That's not her !I don't know anymore! Let me go Clinton! "
I bit my lip when I heard Clinton's name. I knew it! That's why Kylie is so weird last time! There was a thud inside so I was scared.
I hate you! I hate you! I hate- "She screamed inside but suddenly it stopped and I heard her moaned.
Fuck! I was almost stuck in my position right in front of the locker door.
Are they? I do not know what to do. I don't know anything. But that was my friend. I was shocked when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me somewhere.
"Shit! Let me go," I said emphatically once pulling on my arm.
"Why are you listening to other people's talk?" Sebe said to me. My eyes widened. I thought Damon but it was Sebe. I pulled his arm.
"She's my friend. I didn't mean that. If I ever heard. I don't usually tell others, we're friends, " I told him I wasn't looking at him.
"Okay," He looked at me for awhile. Before I left, he left first. I swallowed and the corner of my eye became hot. While looking at his handsome back moving away from me.
It's been a month without him. I'm getting used to it. I bowed at the same time as my tears fell.
Why am I hurting while he is not? Why do I have to suffer this kind of pain? I am hurt by my love for him.