I shrugged, doubling down on the lie as panic overtook me. “I don’t care if you believe me or not. Henry is not yours. I slept with his father after you ran away.”
He looked stunned by that, but then, he sharply shook his head.
“Liar,” he growled. “You were never a good liar.”
I gnashed my teeth, frustration welling up within me.
“Don’t talk down to me,” I hissed. “I’m not a kid anymore, Ryan. I’ve grown up a lot since you vanished.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” he demanded to know.
“He’s not yours!” I insisted. What was I doing? It was like I was being possessed by some asshole demon who was determined to completely ruin my life and I couldn’t stop it. “Christ, did you really think I wouldn’t hook up with anyone after you? Well, guess what? Once you popped my cherry, I didn’t have a reason to hold myself back anymore. I’ve been screwing anyone I’ve wanted whenever I’ve wanted to.”
A bald-faced lie. Truth be told, I hadn’t been with anyone else since Ryan. I’d been too heartbroken after he’d left, and then, I’d found out I was pregnant. Over the years, I’d gone on a few dates, but nothing had ever escalated past a goodnight kiss. I just hadn’t been interested. No one else seemed capable of making me feel the way I’d felt about Ryan before he’d crushed me.
Of course, I would never admit that out loud, especially to him. I would much rather he think I was a slut than find out just how sad and pathetic my love life really was.
His face twisted into a scowl, and fury flashed through his eyes.
“You really expect me to believe that?” he snarled. “You were so hung up on me, no other guys existed for you. There’s no way you’d go around throwing yourself at random men. Besides, Jason would kill anyone who touched you, and we both know it.”
“I don’t care if you want to believe me or not,” I said, seemingly unable to stop myself. “You can stay in denial, but you don’t know me anymore, Ryan. I’m not the naïve, little girl you knew, and I’m definitely over you. I realized really quickly how stupid it was to have feelings for someone like you.”
“Someone like me? What the hell does that mean?”
I rolled my eyes. “I thought you were intelligent, Ryan. Someone who cuts and runs when he gets scared. Someone who abandons his family and friends rather than face up to his apparent mistakes. In a word, a coward.”
The words flowed out of me like water through a broken dam. It was as if all my anger and frustration from the past seven years bubbled up and exploded forth at that moment. I didn’t care if I hurt him. In fact, I wanted him to feel at least a crumb of the agony I’d suffered because of him. I hadn’t realized until that moment just how much hurt and anger I was still carrying.
“Is that what you think of me?” He furrowed his brow, his expression flicking between anger and remorse. “I didn’t run, Samantha. I left and built a life somewhere else. People do it all the time.”
“Now who’s the liar?” I shot back. “Deny it all you want, Ryan, but we both know the truth. We had sex, you regretted it, and then you ran scared. At least be man enough to admit it.”
I hated how good this argument felt. How cathartic it was to unload on him. It made me feel like a terrible person, and yet, I couldn’t make myself stop. I knew I should just walk away before I said something that was really cruel, but my feet seemed rooted in place, and I couldn’t make myself move.
Ryan’s face was flushed red, and a vein throbbed in his forehead. He looked as though he were winding up to lash me with a response, but a sudden noise from the back room of the store made us both tense.
The next moment, the store’s owner, Betty, walked out into the open. When she spotted me and Ryan standing together, she stopped, her eyes bouncing between us.
Frowning, Betty asked, “What’s going on here? Is everything all right?’
I felt my cheeks flush with mortification.
I opened my mouth to reply, but Ryan beat me to the punch.
“Apologies,” he said. “I just came in to speak with Samantha. I won’t take up anymore of her time.” He turned back to gaze at me. “We’ll continue this later.”
I didn’t respond, just stared back at him in icy silence. He offered Betty a polite goodbye and turned to walk out of the store. It wasn’t until he was gone that I felt like I could breathe again.