Silas’s P.O.V
For all the betrayal and pain I felt about Ezra's quickness to brand me as Lily’s murderer, I could not just dismiss the brotherly feeling I still had for him. Even after everything we had gone through, there was still our past, our history, to be taken into account, and I did not want to forget all of that. He was still my brother, and I was still very much concerned about him even if he wants to kill me now and I wanted to knock some sense into him.
“And… how is Ezra?” I asked, eyes fixated on the floor, my ears listening in rapt attention, though I did not want to make eye contact as I asked about my half brother, who had taken my place as the alpha of the pack.
“Outwardly, he's taking it quite well,” Cam said, and she and Gustav exchanged glances that I read as hesitation.
I sensed from her tone and their demeanor that there was something else, so I prompted, “But?”
Gustav decided to continue what Cam was going to say, “But we know he's the one suffering the most. Well, I guess we don't have to explain why. You're probably the one who knows what he's feeling best.” They were referring to my romantic past with Lily.
I nodded, taking in their words. Ezra was suffering the worst, and I couldn't help but feel guilty for not being there for him during this difficult time. "I should’ve been next to him," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
We were both mourning the loss of Lily, the woman that both of us loved, the woman who had been the light of our lives. But even as the thought crossed my mind that I should’ve been near him as his little brother, just as he had been with me all through my childhood…I knew it wasn’t the right time.
To his credit, Gustav didn't berate me for my awful idea, and instead, he simply shook his head. "It's too dangerous for you to be seen right now. We can't risk anyone finding out that you're still inside pack territories." I knew that already, and I also knew he was only saying that to help ease my emotional turmoil.
Camilla added, "We'll make sure Ezra gets the care he needs. He’s a strong man, he’ll pull through. He loves the pack too much to give up."
I sighed, knowing they were right. I couldn't risk being seen, especially not when I was still a suspect in Lily's murder. "Okay," I said reluctantly. "Do you think you could convince him? That I am not Lily’s killer? Can you guys talk some sense into him?"
Gustav gave me a small smile. "We can try." His smile faltered. “Though we won't be making any promises. He becomes very… volatile whenever you are mentioned, even in passing. Since he and the rest of our pack are convinced of your guilt, having seen you like that…he is likely still grappling with, trying to make sense of, the fact that his little brother killed his mate.”
As they spoke, memories flooded my mind of my childhood with Ezra and Lily. Despite the hostile environment we grew up in, we always had each other. Lily was like a precious ray of sunlight to us, and we had no idea that Ezra and she were mates until much later.
I remembered how, as a child, Ezra and I used to sneak out of the house to play in the woods. We would spend hours exploring the forest, building forts out of decomposing logs, and pretending to be enemy Alphas attacking each other’s pack. It was our way of escaping the harsh reality of their home life, where Ezra and his mother were treated like scum, and there was nothing I could do about it. But the irony of the situation didn’t escape me. We were now true enemies…one blaming the other for talking a life that we both valued highly.
I remembered how Lily would come with us sometimes, and we treated her like the beloved princess that she was, even though she wanted to play the role of an Alpha herself, fighting over her own tower against the two of us. But in the end, she would always end up being the Luna kidnapped by the enemy and we would be the Alphas to rescue her from the big, bad wolves.
It was the only time when rank and hierarchy didn’t matter to me or Lily. Ezra was just another kid, another playmate, another friend.
As we grew older, though, we started to become more aware of their place in the pack hierarchy. I, as the alpha’s son, was always going to be a high-ranking member of the pack. Ezra, on the other hand, was seen as less important because he was the illegitimate son.
Despite this, I always treated Ezra as an equal. I never wanted my brother to feel like he was beneath me, it was the last thing I ever wanted to do because I loved him like he was my full brother, without the nuances of illegitimacy and infidelity. We continued to be close, even when we were teenagers and our hormones and wolfish instincts started to kick in. I never understood why Ezra didn’t want to date any of the girls in the pack, but he didn’t push the issue. I was happy with Lily, too, and I didn't want to make Ezra uncomfortable by forcing him to date someone just because I was.
I remembered the day when Ezra's mother, had committed suicide in her room unable to accept that she couldn't be with the one she loved. I was only fourteen at the time, and Ezra was sixteen. It was then that my mother had taken the opportunity to send him away to train in a pack far away in Kansas. Ezra had left without a word, because he too must have felt like no one wanted him here.