As she began to nurse the baby, I made my way out of the room with the soiled diaper. I opened the backdoor and quickly disposed of it in the trashcan, feeling the cool night air on my face.
For a moment, as I stood there lost in thought of sometime in the past when my life was beautiful. When I had a little baby to keep me awake all night. My chest tightened painfully.
I shook myself back to the present, pushing the memories back where they belonged. I turned and walked back into the house, returning to Jasamina's room. She was still sleeping soundly, her arm wrapped protectively around Jaimie.
My eyes trailed down to her exposed breast, the dark puckered nipple glistening in the dim light. I felt a sudden surge of desire course through me. What the hell was wrong with me?
Quickly, I looked away. I wasn't a pervert, so why the hell was my body acting like I was one? It would have been so embarrassing for both of us if she was awake. Much too embarrassing.
The sudden intensity of my physical reaction took me by surprise, and I felt guilty for even having such thoughts about Jasamina. She had been through so much, and the last thing she needed was unwanted advances from a man.
But did she feel anything for me? Did she desire me in any way?
The thought was ridiculous, of course. Jasamina had nothing but gratitude towards me for taking care of her and her baby. Even if she did harbor any feelings for me, she was far from ready to engage in any sort of sexual relationship. Her past traumas and her fear of men would most likely prevent her from feeling any sort of desire.
And what about Suzy? My thoughts drifted to the only woman I had ever truly loved, the one who had given me all the passion and fulfillment I could ever need from a woman. The one who had loved me with a ferocity that still took my breath away.
Those thoughts made me go flaccid, losing the erection that almost strained a few moments ago.
I walked towards the bed and while looking away, I palmed her bare breast and adjusted it back into her nightie.
She flinched at my touch but didn't stir awake. I wondered if she was being reminded of her ruthless husband by my touch, and the thought almost made me throw up.
I hauled the blankets over them, covering their sleeping bodies before I finally left for my room.
ANYA
As I opened my eyes that morning, I was momentarily disoriented, unsure of my surroundings. But as my eyes adjusted, I saw the luxurious beauty of the room I was in and everything came rushing back to me. My gaze settled on the massive figure of Xazix sleeping on the sofa, and I couldn't help but stare at him bashfully. He was so handsome, but also very intimidating.
I slowly got up from the bed, careful not to make any noise, and walked out of the door. It was still early morning, and I didn't want to wake anyone up. As I made my way to the kitchen, my throat felt parched, and I desperately needed water. I didn't know where the water was, but I hoped to find it without disturbing anyone.
But as I entered the kitchen, my heart sank as I saw Mr. Mark standing in front of the coffeemaker. He was the owner of the house and didn't want me there. The one who hated the very sight of me.
I tried to tiptoe out of the kitchen, but he turned and saw me. His face went from sleepy to blank in a few seconds, and my throat felt dry.
"Good morning, sir," I said hoarsely, trying to hide my fear.
"What are you doing there?" he asked curtly.
"I was feeling thirsty. I wanted to drink water," I answered truthfully.
His shoulders relaxed slightly as he reached for another cup and turned on the filtered water. He handed me the glass of water, and I took it gratefully. "Thanks," I murmured, still nervous.
He said nothing, just staring at me with his calculating eyes as I drank. I was so nervous that I ended up choking on the water, spewing it out with each cough.
He quickly put a strong arm around my back, rubbing it awkwardly, and instructed me to take deep breaths. His voice was surprisingly soothing, and I felt better as I followed his instructions.
When I looked up at him, my eyes were teary, and my clothes were slightly wet.
"Thank you, sir," I said, out of breath.
"Please, just call me Mark. Sit makes me feel so old," he groaned.
"All right... Mark," I whispered, staring at him shyly.
"Are you feeling better now?" he asked, looking slightly concerned. His face was so different from his blank expression just a few moments ago. Who would have thought that choking would ever have an advantage?
"I feel much better," A pause, "I'm not bad, you know," I blurted out. "I'm not a thief or a criminal. I just don't have anywhere to go. I'm sorry for invading your personal space, and I'm sorry if I made things tense with your friend."