He stopped suddenly, pulling away from me to stare at my face. "You stiffened against me. Did I do something you didn't like?" His voice was hoarse and laced with desire.
"No..." I said but my voice trailed off uncertainly. Any touch down there had always caused me pain, humiliation and degradation.
His eyes searched mine for a few more seconds, and then he joined our lips together again tentatively. "You are not ready for this, honey." He was battling his raging desire.
I raised my hand to caress his back, wanting everything he had to give but very scared of it at the same time. As I caressed him, I had an idea what I can do for him. My cheeks heated at the thought, but it didn't stop me.
I pulled slightly away, reaching for his belt buckle, I started unbuckling it with shaky hands. Getting it out of the way, I reached inside and pulled him out. He groaned, the same time a surprised gasp escaped my lips at the sheer maleness of him. Long, thick, and very hard. My hand couldn't wrap around all of him.
"Mina....honey.... What are you-" His voice had gone unnaturally deep and scratchy.
"Let me... Please...." I whispered, pressing my face on his neck to hide as I stroked him tentatively. He is very much bigger that any other man I've ever known intimately, both Dale and his men whenever he forced them on me.
Even without my fear for intimacy, he would never be able to fit in me, I thought shyly, but this....this I can give him, even if I can't give anything else. I want to please him so much, it's almost a physical ache.
"Teach me what you like." I whispered to his neck. He groaned again, and his hand covered mine as he went right ahead to teach me. I kept stroking him with inexperienced hands even after he withdrew his own hand, his low groans filling the air.
He coaxed my head out of his neck and took my lips into an earth shattering kiss. Then, he was shuddering around him, his breath caught and hitched, groaning loudly as he came apart in my arms.
Knowing that I made him this way, I made him feel like this filled me with pleasure and feminine power, I kept stroking his sputtering wetness until his hand stilled mine.
I got up and went to the bathroom to get a wet cloth, I came back to the sofa and started cleaning up us. My cheeks were so heated, my fingers trembled.
Afterwards, he took the wet cloth away from me. He tried to touch me, to give me what I gave him but I refused because I know I wouldn't be able to carry it out. My wounds of intimacy still so fresh....so very deep.
"Just hold me....please, Tann." I whispered pleadingly.
"Anything for you, honey." He groaned at last, wrapping his arm around me and drawing me closer to him. I snuggled against him with a soft sigh, breathing in his familiar clean scent.
We stayed that way for a long time and I savored the moment, tugging it away at the back of my mind as a sweet memory to have after he has left. The thought clenched my heart tightly.
"I was married to a woman who I loved with all my heart, who loved me too. Her name was Suzanne...."
As he began, I listened wholeheartedly because I know that he's about to tell me about his past. He's going to let me in, finally.
.
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.
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2. SINS OF THE PAST.
JASAMINA
As I nestled in Tann's arms, the world seemed to melt away. In his embrace, I felt like everything was going to be okay. We sat there, enjoying the peacefulness of the night. I could hear the soft chirping of crickets and the rustling of leaves as the gentle breeze blew through the trees.
And then he started talking.
"I was once married to a woman I loved with all my heart," Tann began, his voice carrying a hint of sadness. "We got married six years ago, but we dated for a long time before that. Suzy and I met in high school. It was love at first sight."
I looked up at him, fascinated by his story. He continued, "People say that love like that doesn't last, that it's easier to fall out of love when you fall in love just as easily. But they were wrong."
I could see a wistful look in his eyes as he spoke. "I can still remember all those times in high school. We hung out a lot, and we were in love. We tried hard to make it work, and it did. When I heard about the marriages of my colleagues, I thanked the heavens for my own marriage. I had the best of it all." His lips curved into a small smile as if he were remembering all the good times he shared with Suzy.
"She must have been a very special someone. A gentle soul," I murmured softly, trying to imagine the woman who captured Tann's heart.