"I got down from the car, walked several feet away from it. I was staring out at the view, lost in thought, while my family waited in the car." Tann's voice was shaky and his body stiff, as though reliving the traumatic experience all over again. "And then, the big truck started for them."
My heart sank as I realized the magnitude of what he was saying. "Oh no...!" I cried out, tears starting to fill my eyes.
"I didn't see the truck on time, but when I turned and saw it, it was too late." Tann continued, his voice hoarse and filled with horror. "I watched everything h-happen."
I gasped and rose from the couch, wrapping my arms tightly around him and holding him close. "I'm so sorry, Tann. I'm so sorry." Tears streamed down my face as I tried to console him.
Tann's body trembled in my arms, and I could feel his pain and anguish as he continued to speak. "The car was crushed. When I ran to them, Dannie was dead on the backseat, blood all over his small body. My boy looked so peaceful... even in death." He paused, his voice choking up. "And then I saw Suzy."
My heart ached as Tann spoke of the horror he had witnessed. "Please, Tann," I begged, "Don't do this to yourself."
But he continued, his voice raw with emotion. "Her body was mangled behind the steering wheel. It was a horrible sight. My wife was split open, her swollen belly exposed. I saw inside her body. I saw her intestines. I saw our baby."
My arm was now wet with Tann's tears, and I held him even closer, feeling his body shake with the force of his sobs. "Oh, Tann," I murmured, my heart breaking for him.
Tann's pain was so deep, it was almost palpable. The weight of his grief was like a physical burden on my own heart. I couldn't imagine how he managed to bear it all these years.
God, no wonder he left home.
No wonder he started roaming the streets.
No wonder he drank himself to stupor to forget.
No wonder he refused to think about his past.
No wonder he stopped believing in God.
No wonder he is a living, breathing mess.
No wonder he said that Jaimie and I has helped him a lot.
I rocked him softly while I cried my heart out at the depth of his pain. Seconds later, he pulled away slightly and looked me in the eyes. His eyes wet.
"It's not your fault," I said firmly, trying to console him. "It was an accident."
But Tann's voice was filled with guilt and self-blame. "I killed my family, Jasamina."
"No, Tann," I insisted, "You didn't. It was a tragic accident."
But Tann's pain was all-consuming, and I knew that no words of mine could ease his suffering. I held him tightly, hoping that my presence and my love could somehow ease his burden, if only a little. The pain in his voice was too great for words to heal.
God, can a wound like this ever heal?
How did he manage to sleep at night? How did he manage to live with something this huge all this while....! Such pain. Horror.
Such guilt.
.
.
.
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3 THE PROMISE ON A MOONLESS NIGHT.
TANNER
The memories of that fateful day felt so raw as I spoke about it. The pain I felt back then was just as intense as it is now, and it always will be. Even now, I can still remember everything about that day like it was yesterday.
It was a beautiful day, and we decided to go on a picnic. Suzy was heavily pregnant with our second child, and our eldest was excited to spend some time outside. We packed our things and headed out to a nearby park, but little did we know that it would be our last time together as a family.
As we were driving back home, things took a turn for the worse. I was too angry to drive, and I allowed Suzy to take the wheel. In hindsight, I regret that decision, but at the time, I was too consumed by my emotions to think straight. As we were driving, our car suddenly swerved off the road, and we crashed into a tree.
The impact was brutal, and I could feel my body being tossed around like a ragdoll. When the car finally came to a stop, I was in a daze. I looked around, and I saw Suzy's lifeless body slumped against the steering wheel. Our son, who was sitting in the back seat, was lying in a pool of blood. And our unborn child, who was nestled in Suzy's womb, was gone too.
I felt numb, and I couldn't believe what had just happened. I tried to call for help, but my hands were shaking so badly that I couldn't even hold my phone. Eventually, I managed to call 911, but by then, it was too late. My family was gone, and there was nothing I could do to bring them back.