Louisa's POV
I moved towards the other end of the carriage and said, "I'm sorry, Lucian. I don't know what happened to me. I feel... very different after the transformation."
Lucian sighed and said, "I'm married, Louisa. My wife's carrying my baby boy and I love her very much. Whatever is happening to you, please take control of it. With that warlock on your side, you'll be more than satisfied."
My face started burning.
"Darren's like a brother to me... He helped me last night because Lucas was having sex with other women, and I was suffering from excruciating pain. We didn't really... do it." I whispered.
"He wouldn't dare to do anything else. He's very well trained and he knows how to handle some very sensitive matters. Take him as Luke's gift for you. Tell him what you want. Use him wisely. That's my advice," Lucian said.
"Has he done any service for you?" I frowned and asked.
"Sometimes I miss my wife." He said.
"Is that why he's afraid of you?" I asked.
"I didn't do anything outrageous to him if that's what you're insinuating," he said.
"Does he make you feel happy?" I asked.
"No. He makes me hate myself every time I use him." Lucian said. "Louisa, why are we talking about this?"
"I want to know more about Darren. I always get the feeling that he's hiding something from me..."
"Maybe he's hiding it from you for a reason." Lucian interrupted me and said. "Maybe that's his last defense. Look, Louisa, Darren is from another species. He's a warlock and he wasn't supposed to exist in our world. His ancestors destroyed us and that's why they have been severely punished and enslaved by us ever since. I'm telling you this is because you can't treat him as one of us. I know you're fair-minded and can't see the reason behind this, but I'm going to break it down for you. Warlocks may look, walk and talk like us, but they certainly don't think like us. So when you try to use your way of thinking to infer what he's thinking, that's actually a very arrogant thing."
I looked at Lucian with confusion.
"Whatever you see about warlocks is just a facade. They've been beaten, lashed, and shaped to serve us ever since they were born. Like a hammer or nails, we use them when we need them. And when we don't need them, we put them away nicely and treat them with respect. We don't need to worry about what's on their minds, because there isn't supposed to be anything up here." Lucian tapped his head.
"But Darren's smart and kind..." I said.
"In Darren's case, it's a bit complicated. He's a hybrid. A rare species. His father's warlock, but his mother's human being, which means that he and his brother can actually understand our feelings. That's why Luke didn't kill them after using them. Instead, he kept them around as his companions. Luke's a very lonely man. His younger brother passed away when he was very little because of his negligence. He was traumatized because of this and he still can't forgive himself now. That's why he needs someone like Darren to stay with him to keep him company as his substitute younger brother. And that's exactly why he was so angry when he found out they wanted to run away from him. Losing them means he will have to relive the traumatic experience of losing his younger brother. Do you see why he's so desperate? He has spent almost 20 years walking out of that haunting experience, but he's still haunted. He can't relive it again. That's why he would rather sell Darren to the slave market than watch him run away from him. He has to take everything under control before it goes really bad."
I was speechless.
There's so much I don't know about them. I thought to myself. Lucas, Lucian, Darren... They're like familiar strangers to me.
The more I wanted to know them, the more mysterious they became.
Lucian sighed and said, "I didn't tell you anything about this in the past. But since you're determined to stay with us, I guess it helps if you know more about us."
I nodded and said, "Thank you for telling me this, Lucian. I really appreciate that. But I still don't understand how Lucas can be so cruel to others. I mean, a lot of people have their own traumatic experiences. But you don't see them running on the streets and killing others. It just doesn't justify his cruelty. What's his point in doing all this?"
"I'm not saying he's a nice person, Louisa. Everyone has their own demon. Someone fights with it internally. Others fight with it externally. The explicit wrong sometimes is the only right. It has nothing to do with Lucas. I know it doesn't make any sense to you now, but you're a smart girl. You'll understand."
"I'm not smart. I know nothing about the world I'm living in. I mean, I know the names of plants and animals. I know how to cook a good meal or dust a blanket. But I don't know anything else." I lowered my head and felt sorry for myself.
Lucian patted my shoulder and said in a soft voice, "That's why you have to keep learning. You can read and write, right?"
I nodded and said, "Uma used to teach me how to read and write."
Lucian said, "So I'll buy you some books, so you can read. The more you read, the more you understand."
I frowned and bit my lips.
"What's the matter, Miss She-wolf? You don't like reading?" Lucian asked.
"I like reading," I whispered. "But the thing is if it really likes what you've just said... The more I read, the more I understand... I'm not sure if I want to read at all."
"Why?" Lucian looked confused.
"I don't want to read books to understand cruelty. If all the books are written to justify cruelty, then these books are wrong," I said.
Lucian stared at me without saying anything.
There was a very strange look on his face.
I felt so embarrassed, so I covered my mouth and asked, "Sorry, did I say something wrong?"
"No, Louisa," Lucian said. "You're incredibly right."