Lily
When I return from what must be the billionth orgasm...okay, I’m exaggerating, but thank the moon goddess for werewolf genes since we can come oh so many times! I’m awakened. Enlightened. Brought to life. My heart is fluttering, and my heart feels incredibly light, but it all comes to an end when I turn around.
Intense emerald eyes meet mine, and that’s when I realize where I am. My nipples are making contact with an impossibly large, warm body. One big hand sits on my waist, and I shudder when it slides up my slide to cup one of my breasts. It feels good, especially when Wesley’s digit teases my erect nipple.
“Did you have a good time?” he asks in that sultry voice of his. It looks like he is holding back a smile. “Or was the sex not that good this time either?”
I groan. “It has already gone to your head...”
He snorts. “What?”
“The sex, Wesley,” I give him an accusing glare, but he only looks amused, which frustrated me even more. Is he going to keep looking at me like he is the moon goddess’ greatest gift to women? Gosh. I can’t believe I slept with this man. “You’re seriously so freaking cocky...”
“Yes?” he blinks. “Is that a bad thing?”
Didn’t he ask that during our first night together?
“Suddenly, I have a bad case of Déjà vu...” I mutter.
He chuckles. “Also a bad thing?”
“Yes, Wesley. I honestly feel like crying. Why did I sleep with such an arrogant bastard? Whatever, these—” I bury my face in his chest and carefully squeeze his pecs with both hands. “These make it all worth it...”
Wesley snorts, but he doesn’t sound like he feels insulted. He sounds playful—so damn playful, and that’s incredibly sexy—especially when he begins playing with my hair. He brushes through some strands, then finds his way to my ears. They burn from the contact, and Wesley chuckles.
“I can’t believe you’re blushing all the way up to your ears,” he murmurs.
“I’m not blushing.”
“It’s really cute.”
“More like embarrassing,” I growl and quickly add, “And I’m not blushing.”
There is a chuckle. “Lying when I can see the truth, huh?” he doesn’t wait for my response before kissing my head. “I think I’m beginning to understand how utterly dishonest you are. Not only are you whimsy, but you’re filled with lies too.”
“That sounds a lot like an insult...”
“It’s not when it’s the truth,” he whispers. “But that’s okay. We all have our flaws.”
My insides flutter at how kind he is being, and I lean back to look up at his face. “You’re being too nice.”
“Am I?”
“Yes.”
Without giving me a warning, he mock-growls. I shriek in surprise, and he laughs in amusement. “Great. I scared you. Do you feel better now? Am I still being too nice?”
The answer is no, but I can’t bring myself to say it. Not when he is looking at me like that. Not when his big body is radiating heat while his hand is leisurely stroking my skin. Not when there is an almost smile on his lips, and his eyes are playful while giving me a heady-lidded look. This feeling in my chest feels a lot like...love. The very thing Wesley warned me not to feel, which is why I push myself up on my feet.
“I should go,” I say while picking up my clothes. “There is still a lot to be done, and my friends are probably wondering where the heck I went,” I force a laugh. “Juanita must still be baking cakes or making decorations.”
Wesley slowly stands up with his eyes set on mine. “Lily...” he whispers. “Are you okay?”
“Of course, I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?” I force another awkward laugh. “I’m just very excited for tomorrow. Big day to find out our baby’s gender.”
Wesley doesn’t look convinced but gives me a weak smile. “It sure is. I’m actually excited,” his lips finally curl by the corners, and his voice goes softer. “Tomorrow is going to be super exciting, but the real thing I’m looking forward to is meeting my baby.”
I pause and stare at him. I don’t know why it hurts to hear him say, “my baby” instead of “our baby” when the baby is ours. Not that it matters. Wesley probably said “my baby” without thinking, yet I can’t fight the pain in my chest.
Hanging out with him, joyfully joking around, almost made me forget that we weren’t a conventional family. In Wesley’s eyes, I am nothing more than the mother of his child—my presence is welcomed until I’ve given birth. And I guess the thing that hurts the most to understand is that I’m not actually a part of this “family” in his eyes.
Suddenly, I can’t fight the voices inside my head...
Once your child is born, he will try to fight you for custody.
He is only playing nice right now because he doesn’t want you to suspect his future move.
He doesn’t like you.
He is only stringing you along. Like, come on now, he rejected you as his mate, remember? Why would he do that and then have sex with you? It doesn’t make sense unless there is something to gain from it, like full custody.
Suddenly it gets harder to breathe. Tears are prickling behind my eyes, and everything hurts. I can’t tell what is real or not and almost fall over my own feet. But of course, of course, Wesley is there to grab my shoulders.
“Careful,” he says, smiling softly. “I wouldn’t want you to hurt the baby.”
The baby.
Of course.
He only cares about the baby, not about us both—only the baby. And that’s great! Like, he should care about our baby. It’s our baby—the most important little treasure in our life! A child always comes first, but I...I had just hoped he would care about me too. It’s an ugly emotion, but...
I want to be with Wesley.
Is that so bad?
Is it wrong to want something for me?
“Ahh, my mistake,” I sigh and stroke my stomach with guilt swelling inside my chest. “I didn’t stumble on purpose...I promise.” I’m not lying. I’m ashamed of falling in the first place.
But Wesley doesn’t get that and jokes. “Are you sure about that? You didn’t just do it so that a knight in shining armor may appear by your side?”
“No,” there is no hesitation in my voice. “I would never hurt our little treasure on purpose. He or she means the world to me, but I will admit it: I’m very clumsy.”
“Very,” Wesley agrees.
“Yeah...but I will be extremely careful on my way down the stairs. I promise.”
“Great,” he grins. “Because I can’t have you tumbling down the stairs while you’re pregnant, but once you’ve given birth, you’re free to get down however you would like.”
Does he mean that I’m free to hurt myself once I’m no longer pregnant?
What?
...is that a bad joke?
I stare at Wesley, and he strokes his chin. “Maybe I should walk with you...” he mumbles.
“Thank you, but I got it from here,” I fake a smile when in reality, I’m breaking on the inside. My emotions are all over the damn place thanks to the pregnancy hormones. “We probably shouldn’t go downstairs together.”
He chuckles. “Good idea.”
That smile...
Damn it.
My eyes are getting all blurry, but I turn around before Wesley can see my tears. All I want is to get the hell away from him before I’m reduced to nothing. The hormones are seriously making me act insane...
“See you downstairs,” I say and hurry toward the door.
As I open it, I hear Wesley say, “Lily, wait.” I stop in my tracks and turn around, looking at him with a confused expression. He is smiling widely now.
“Take the elevator downstairs,” he chuckles. “Knowing you, you would probably trip over your own feet on your way down the stairs. The elevator is a lot safer.”
I have no idea why I get so offended by his words. He is being thoughtful, but all I see is red. “Because I’m so clumsy?”
He grins. “Yeah.”
I don’t like being bitter, but for some reason, that’s the only emotion I feel, along with hurt. “And because the baby could get hurt if I fell, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“But I don’t matter?”
He laughs in amusement, and I have no idea if he is serious or not when he says, “Not as much, no.”
I glare at him. Does he seriously have no concern for me? I mean, if he is being playful right now, then his sense of humor is tasteless. Gah. I’m seriously so stupid.
For a second there, I thought Wesley liked me, but it’s now becoming painfully obvious that he doesn’t. Why did I even think that in the first place? It couldn’t get more bloody obvious that I’m being manipulated. But I can’t even get angry at him because...because I love him.
I love him.
The whole world seems to come to a sudden stop when I come to that realization. I’m in love with Wesley Brooks. Those eyes and that smile...I just can’t get him out of my head. And I feel terrible because...because he is being a great father right now. He cares A LOT about our baby, and I’m selfish because I want him to care for me in the same way.
But I have no right to feel that or even be angry over the fact that he doesn’t.
Ugh.
I’m seriously disgusting...
“Hello? You there?” Wesley chuckles and waves his hand in front of my face. “Earth to Lily?”
I look up at his bright smile, and this time, I have to put a lot of effort into not crying in front of him. And the smile on my face? It’s wavering now, but Wesley doesn’t notice. Of course, he doesn’t. Why would he? It’s not like my feelings matter to him.
“I will take the elevator,” I whisper. “Don’t worry.”
And with that, I turn around and don’t look back. I head down the stairs, not stopping until I’m outside Wesley’s mansion and the winds are hitting me in the face. That’s when I finally let the tears come out.
My heart aches because Wesley doesn’t feel the same way about me, and I’m slowly beginning to realize that all this time, I’ve been hoping for something that will never happen.
We will never be one big happy family.