Tess
A week later
I make a plane sound with the spoon of porridge leaving the plate and aim it at Lucas’ mouth. He doesn’t open up, and I frown at him. “Come on, one more bite!”
Lucas huffs at me and moves his head to the side to avoid the spoon. He can’t see, but he has spider senses. “No, I don’t want more food. I’m stuffed.”
“But you’re disappearing...” I mutter.
Lucas doesn’t respond my heart clenches with worry. I’m not happy about him refusing to eat his food. Lucas will die quicker than the pack doctor estimated if this keeps up. He was given a month, but...that was a week ago.
“You’re thinking too much again.”
A little laugh slips out through my lips. “I am.”
“Don’t,” Lucas says. “We might be mates, but you hardly know me. It might not have even worked out between us, and your second chance mate will probably be someone kinder.”
My eyes flicker to Lucas’ unrecognizable form. He used to be huge, built like a football player, with wide shoulders and solid muscle. Unyielding lines and eyes the color of the sky. Black onyx hair. Intense eyebrows and carved cheekbones. Square jaw. Sculpted lips. Yes, Lucas was stunningly beautiful before the battle against the hybrids. Now he looks like...a crisp zombie with red skin, burn marks, and rotting flesh. He stinks like a corpse, and yet, I’m still here.
“You might not be the kindest when it comes to words, but you have a good heart,” I smile when Lucas draws in a sharp, pained breath. It seems his heart isn’t as covered by ice as the man likes to pretend, and I place my hand over his larger one, squeezing it. “The werewolves you lead are still loyal to you and are sad you’re going.”
“Please… they’re probably happy I’m gone so they can take my spot...and Freddy’s.”
I move his hand to my lap. “Are you sad that you can’t compete for the position of Beta?” Wesley is going to hold a tournament for both the Beta and the Gamma position in two weeks. I expect Lucas to be too weak even to go and listen to it. The thought of that saddens me.
“No...of course not...” He tries to sound haughty as if the very thought of him being sad is ridiculous. But I can hear the insecurity in his voice.
“It’s okay to be sad, Lucas. You lost your Gamma position that you had worked very hard for, it’s only natural for you to be sad. But you are holding in your tears, which I don’t think is healthy. Just let yourself feel.”
“Like a wimp?”
I breathe a laugh. “Yes, like a wimp.”
Lucas is quiet for a while. I expect him to open up, but of course, he doesn’t do that. Instead, he moves to the side of the bed, and I know exactly what he is saying without speaking, “Move your ass over here and read me another book,” is what his body language tells me.
My lips form an amused smile, and I whisper. “Would it really be so bad to admit you like hearing me read to you?”
“Yes...”
“Why?”
“Because...” He hesitates. “Because a man should be taking care of his woman. Protecting her should be his responsibility, and here you are, taking care of me.”
“I’m not your woman,” I remind him, taking my spot beside him. It baffles me how it makes me nervous about being this close to him despite his condition. My skin is still tingling, and I exhale loudly. “You never accepted me as your mate.”
“Because I’m an idiot...”
I turn my head to eye his burnt face. None of his features are there. Not even his nose. It’s all gone, and despite this, there are butterflies in my stomach. “You are?”
“I judged you based on your appearance,” he growls, but I get the feeling it’s not aimed at me. No. Lucas is debating with himself and trying very hard to be nice. “I shouldn’t have done that, but... I’m shallow as hell. It’s a flaw of mine. I’m not proud of it, especially not since you’re still by my side even though I look like meat you left too long on the grill.”
I laugh. “I like that resemblance.”
I will be damned, but Lucas’ lips form a smile. “So, are you going to read for me, or what?”
“Oh, so now you want to hear it?” I tease. “What do you say?”
Another growl leaves his lips, and this time I stifle a laugh. I have a feeling Lucas would be blushing if his skin wasn’t gone from his face.
“I’m not going to say please...”
I giggle. “We will get there, we will get there.”
Lucas makes a displeased sound, but I ignore him and start reading from the new romance novel we have started. This one is a bit steamier, and I’m a bit shocked when my heart races at the love-making scenes. I feel ridiculous for reading them out loud to Lucas, but he doesn’t comment on this. He listens to every word I say, and I only stop reading when his breathing slows, and he falls asleep.
I push myself up from his bed and glance down at him with a conflicted heart. Part of me doesn’t want him to suffer anymore. The pack doctor told me he is in pain every single day, but another part of me doesn’t want him to leave me. I might not know him that well yet, but...he is my mate.
Am I just supposed to accept that he will be taken away from me before our story can begin?
***
The next day, I wake up to someone banging on my door so hard that the paintings rattle on the wall. “Tess! Open up! It’s me, Lily! You have to come downstairs.”
I groggily blink life into my eyes. “W-what is it?” For some reason, Lucas is the only person I can talk to without being a stammering mess.
“It’s Lucas,” Lily says in a low tone. I can imagine her hugging herself while talking. “He is in critical condition...we think this might be his last day. Wesley had him transferred to the pack hospital.”
My heart twists painfully at those words. I quickly change into some clothes and run after Lily, not wanting to waste any time. We arrive at the pack hospital, which is always bustling with activity, but today it seems more chaotic than usual. Nurses and doctors are running around frantically, and I hear someone shouting orders in the distance.
Lily leads me to a small room at the end of the hallway, where Lucas is lying on a bed hooked up to various machines. His breathing is labored, and his skin is even more charred than before. I can’t help the tears that start to stream down my face as I approach him.
Lucas looks so small and vulnerable compared to his usual tough demeanor. I take his hand in mine, feeling his weak pulse under my fingers. “Lucas,” I whisper, hoping he can hear me. “I’m here. You’re not alone.”
He reacts to my voice and weakly turns his head to face me with his eyes closed. It makes me think he knows his empty sockets make me uncomfortable.
“Tess,” he whispers. “You... shouldn’t be here.”
“I will always be wherever you are,” I say, moving a strand of hair from his sweat-drenched forehead. “Please, don’t talk. Just focus on breathing.”
Lucas tries to form a smile, but it comes out as a grimace. “You still have to say please,” he says, his voice barely a whisper.
I give a watery laugh, trying to keep my emotions in check. “Please,” I say, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “Please stay with me.”
Lucas’s breathing becomes even more shallow, and I can see the struggle it takes for him to form words. “I don’t think...I can,” he says.
I lean in closer to him, my tears falling onto his face. “Lucas, please fight. You can’t just give up.”
He starts to cough, and I can see his chest heaving with the effort. I call out for a nurse, but it feels like forever before one arrives, and then everything becomes a blur as a doctor pushes me out of the room. All I hear is “code blue!” and beeping machines.
I slowly back away from the room, listening to the medical professionals trying to save Lucas. Every beep from the machines feels like a countdown to his final moments. I’m pacing back and forth when a hand wraps around my wrist, turning me around to face Wesley, the pack alpha.
“Tess,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “He is fighting, but I am sorry, it doesn’t look bright. Lucas will probably die tonight.”
I feel as if I’ve been punched in the gut. My heart shatters into a million pieces, and it feels like the world is collapsing around me.
“It’s not fair!” I shout. “I didn’t even get to know him!”
Wesley pulls me into a hug, and I sob uncontrollably into his chest. His strong arms wrap around me, holding me tightly as if he is afraid I will fall apart. He is a good man and an excellent mate to my best friend, and that only makes me cry louder because I could have had all of that with Lucas.
Why is life so unfair?