THE FOLLOWING MORNING, I woke up early because Madre Olivia dropped by for a visit. I asked her to teach me how to cook since she was the only one who knew that I couldn’t. More so because I remember what Maria said last night, that they would already crave that dish. I couldn’t always rely on Josefina to cook on my behalf.
Mang Raul and Theresita also arrived for breakfast and helped with the cooking lessons. Mang Raul slaughtered a pig for cooking. I learned that Eduardo, Maria’s secret lover, is Mang Raul’s son, so is Theresita. Eduardo works for the family as a gardener.
Whereas Mang Raul was in charge of the slaughtering, Eduardo was the one who brought in the vegetables we would be needing. Theresita was the one who fanned the coals while Madre Olivia was teaching me.
“Mix it with just the right speed. Can’t be more or less. The result won’t be palatable if you hurry the process, nor if you prolong it,” she instructed me as she carefully mixed the stew inside the clay pot.
“Remember this, hija—Don’t hasten and neither should you prolong the process,” she emphasized. I nodded. “It would be much easier if we cook using a microwave, Madre Olivia, because it has a timer. I think my cooking will turn out just fine,” I said. Madre Olivia frowned at me.
“But since I have no choice, then this is what I’ll do,” I smiled at her. I was worried that she would snap at me. She handed me the ladle and I tried my best to mix it the right way.
“By the way, I’m leaving after lunch. I already have to go back to the convent in Manila.”
“Huh? What about me? I don’t want to be left alone here. I’m going with you,” Madre Olivia discreetly pinched me on the arm. Good thing Theresita was out of earshot and was busy fanning the flames.
“Calm down. You can leave for Manila next week.”
"Gosh. One week seems far too long. I’m already bored. There’s no TV, no internet, no smartphone, no laptop, no aircon, no wifi, no …” I wasn’t able to finish what I was saying because Madre Olivia chided me again.
“We don’t have those in Manila, either,” she reminded me. Ah yes, she was right.
“Even so. At least you’re there with me. You can save me if I get into trouble again,” Madre Olivia can be irritable, but I know that she’s genuinely concerned about me.
“Good that you know that you’re a troublemaker,” she said. “You have to fix the problem you created here. Make sure nobody knows about you and that no one suspects your strange actions,” she continued then pointed at my forehead.
“Strange actions? I’m not doing anything wrong,” I said, but immediately hesitated. Sure, the norms here were weird, but I must seem even weirder for them.
"What do you mean by you’re not doing anything wrong? Look at yourself—how you stand, how you walk. You should also be more mindful of how you dress up and carry yourself, most especially how you talk," she admonished me while slapping my shoulders.
“What can I do? I’m not used to living as formally as the people here do.”
“That’s why you should get used to these things. I have to go now. You’re giving me a headache,” she said and picked up a hand towel. She started walking toward the door and I ran after her and tugged her arm.
"Madre Olivia, you’re the only one who can understand me here,” I pleaded and bowed my head. She slowly turned to me and held my hands. “Please don’t leave me here. What if you already go back to the contemporary world?" She lifted an eyebrow. Maybe she thought I was about to say something touching or inspirational.
“I won’t be able to leave this place if you haven’t finished your mission yet. Don’t worry. At the moment, I seem to be the only one who can understand you, but in the coming days, there will be more who will support you,” she said, smiling.
That made me smile as well. Maybe we didn’t get along first because we both were irritable and headstrong. But now, I’m just so thankful that she’s here at this moment in time with me.
IT WAS BREAKFAST TIME. I was a little proud of myself for having cooked an actual meal. “Our *bunso is really getting herself ready for marriage,” Don Alejandro said cheerfully before opening the day’s newspaper.
“It’s really different when someone falls in love,” Maria teased me. I wanted to retort, “It’s really different when someone’s caught in a tight spot!”
“Time to eat!” I announced and helped myself to a ladleful of steaming white rice. Maria quickly admonished me, “Carmelita, we haven’t prayed yet!” That made me sit down instantly. Maria led the prayer. Everybody had their eyes closed.
I couldn’t help but remember Dad, Jenny, and Emily. We didn’t pray before meals. We didn’t always eat together, with dad always leaving early and going home late because of putting in extra hours of work.
Jenny, Emily, and I also didn’t always eat at the same time. We had different body clocks, different times of waking up, especially during weekends. In the few times that we were able to eat together, we would be too busy with our smartphones to talk.
“Carmelita, isn’t this your favorite breakfast,” asked Doña Soledad and got a piece each of dried and smoked freshwater fish. She placed these on my plate. I cringed at the strange-looking kinds of fish on my plate.
We didn’t eat this kind of food for breakfast. Almost always it was cereal, pancakes, toasted bread, bacon, and eggs.
“You also love eating those with your coffee,” Don Alejandro added and handed me a cup of what looked like strong black coffee, which I don’t drink. I wanted to ask if they had any milk or cream.
“Here you go. Eduardo plucked these from the tree in our garden,” said Maria as she placed a plate of green mangoes. “Carmelita would surely down the whole plate, especially if dipped in *bagoong,” Josefina said. The mangoes had already been peeled and sliced. Josefina reached for one and dipped it in bagoong. I had never tried bagoong in my entire life.
I realized that the real Carmela and I are complete opposites. Why did I end up here?
I stifled a cough and started eating. I couldn’t do anything after all. There was no such thing as food delivery here. Back home, we would just order delivery if there was no cooked food or if we didn’t like what was available.
To be honest, I didn’t expect that dried and smoked fish would go well with fried rice. Black coffee wasn’t as bitter as I thought it would be. And that sour green mangoes and bagoong tasted really good together.
LATER THAT EVENING, Don Alejandro called us. Apparently, we would be going somewhere. I quickly dressed and made myself up. Maybe we were going to Juanito’s place. I wanted to look presentable to him, to them.
“Did you bring flowers, anak?” Don Alejandro asked me. We were now inside the kalesa. Night had already descended but the light coming from the full moon shone a gentle light around us.
"Po?" I asked, confused. Flowers? I should be bringing flowers to Juanito? Why was I the one to court him?
“For your friend Helena. Isn’t she feeling under the weather? I tagged you along so you can check on her,” Don Alejandro answered. Helena was the one Sonya mentioned. Helena was our friend who was feeling some resentment toward me because she liked Juanito.
“Capitán Vicente and I are going to talk about something very important,” he continued.
“Good thing your Mother prepared flowers for Helena,” he handed a bouquet of white roses to me. I didn’t know why I was suddenly nervous. What should I say to that Helena girl?
A few minutes later, we alighted in front of a huge mansion. “We’re here,” Don Alejandro said and we got off the carriage. One couldn’t help but notice that there were so many flowers in their mansion.
A well-built man with a mustache welcomed us. He has round eyes, a pointed nose, and he looks like a *mestizo. It was evident from his physical features that he was part Spanish. The blood that flows through people like him and Helena.
“Good evening, amigo. I see you come with your youngest daughter,” greeted the man who was about the same age as Don Alejandro. He was probably Capitán Vicente.
I kissed his hand. "Hija, why don’t you go now to Helena’s room? She will surely be delighted to see you,” smiled Capitán Vicente. I nodded and went inside the mansion. They followed me inside while chatting.
I stopped in front of the wide staircase. I forgot to ask where Helena’s room was!
“Can I help you with something, Carmelita?” I heard a woman speak from behind. I was surprised when I recognized whose voice that was. She was the mean girl who picked a fight with me and Maria yesterday at the parade. Natasha—What was she doing here?
“Are you still hoping to this day that my brother has sent you a letter?” she asked with an eyebrow raised. What was this woman talking about? I didn’t care about Leandro.
I was about to lash back but someone approached us, “Apologies, Señorita Natasha, but Capitán Vicente asked me to escort Señorita Carmelita to Señorita Helena’s bed-chamber," said someone who looked to me like one of their servants.
I was about to follow the servant when Natasha said, "Observa tus pasos. Watch your step.” This made me stop and I looked at her. "Podrías caerte y no puedo esperar a que suceda. You might fall and I can't wait to see it happen,” she continued and smiled ruefully at me before going to where Don Alejandro and Capitán Vicente were talking.
The helper and I looked at each other, “That woman must have gone nuts,” I said, which made her confused. I think trash-talking hasn't been invented here yet.
We continued going up the staircase. I noticed that even the inside of the house was adorned with flowers in ornate vases at every corner. We passed by a few more doors before we stopped at one and knocked on the door, "Señorita Helena, Señorita Carmelita is here."
“W-wait a minute,” we heard a lady respond from the room. I looked at the servant again. I didn’t know why, but she seemed to resemble someone I knew, “What's your name again?” I asked her while waiting for Helena to let us in.
"Laura Isabella, Señorita," she responded. This made me look at her more closely for a few seconds. That was why she looked so familiar. She resembles Dad!
I was about to say something but the door swung open. What greeted us was a beautiful young lady with puffy eyes, an aquiline nose, and languid eyes.
I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that it was possible for Natasha to be her sister. That was why that woman was here in this house!
“How have you been?” I started with a smile. She didn’t respond but she motioned for me to get inside. Laura closed the door leaving Helena and me all by ourselves. Helena laid down on her bed.
“What are you doing here?” she said, draping a blanket over her whole body.
I walked toward the window of her room where a flower vase sat on the sill. I slid the white roses I brought with me inside the vase.
“Nothing really. I just wanted to check in on you,” I answered. I wanted to say that Don Alejandro just scammed me into going here. I was clueless that we were headed here. If I had a choice I wouldn’t have gone here. However, I remembered what Sonya said about Helena and Carmelita’s friendship. I needed to do something to fix it before things took a turn for the worse.
“Why did you even bother? You and Juanito are about to get married,” she said. I heard her gently hiccup. She was stifling a cry underneath her blanket.
"Helena. But … "
“Just yesterday, it was Kuya Leandro whom you love. Now it’s suddenly Juanito. You’ve always known that I have feelings for him, right?” Her voice got louder after she removed her blanket to look me straight in the eye.
Nervousness came over me. Don Alejandro and Capitán Vicente might overhear what Helena was saying!
I moved closer to her, “Uhm … it’s because … Listen to me,” I started explaining everything to her. That Juanito was only helping me look for Maria the night people saw us together under the mango tree. She continued to cry, but little by little she started to calm down.
“H-how can I be sure that you don’t have any affection for Juanito?” asked Helena, still quite shakily because she was still crying. I rolled my eyes. What valid reason could I give her?
“Uhhh … because … because … I still love Leonardo … shocks … what I meant was Leandro,” I answered, forcing a smile because I was now starting to sweat after all the lying I had been doing these days. She might think that I had another guy by the name of Leonardo.
This made Helena grow silent. She laid down once again on her bed, “I want to rest,” that was all she said. Looked like she didn’t hear me pronounce her brother’s name incorrectly.
She covered herself with her blanket once more. Looked like she didn’t want to talk to me. I felt guilty. It was as if I was ruining her friendship with the real Carmelita.
“I’ll be taking my leave. But I hope you understand that I’m also against this wedding,” I started walking toward the door, opened it, closed it gently behind me then went down the stairs. Don Alejandro and Capitán Vicente were still talking in the living room. They both stood up when they saw me approaching them.
"Bueno, it’s getting late in the evening. You don’t want to find yourselves here by midnight. You take care on your way home,” Capitán Vicente bade us good night and escorted us to our kalesa.
I really felt terrible, even though Helena and I haven’t spent any time together yet. I felt that her friendship with Carmelita was genuine.
I didn’t want to lose another friend. Just like what happened to me and Shae.
I was about to close the carriage’s curtain when I saw a familiar-looking guy. He was wearing a white shirt and black pants. He was standing beside a tree not too far from the gate of Hacienda Flores.
I couldn’t be mistaken—that was Juanito!
The carriage started to move. I looked at Juanito. What was he doing here at this time of the night?
Just as our kalesa was about to pass Juanito by, it became clear what he was looking at. He was looking up at a window of the Flores’ mansion.
I covered my mouth when I realized whose window he was looking at. The flower vase with the white roses I brought was on the ledge. He was looking at Helena’s room!
Does Juanito have any feelings for Helena, too?
Dear Diary,
I realized that not everything that’s written in this diary is true. Not everything that Lola Carmina and Madre Olivia said is true. The truth is, it was one-sided after all. It was only Carmelita who had feelings for Juanito. Juanito was in love with someone else.
Yours in puzzlement,
Carmela