OPERATION STOP THE WEDDING!
FIRST, to save Juanito, the wedding must not push through. And one of the things I could do is for Juanito and Helena to be closer to each other. This task doesn’t seem too hard because their feelings are mutual anyway.
Second, I need to think of a good reason why this arrangement shouldn’t push through, a reason which would convince both Don Alejandro and Don Mariano. I still didn’t have any idea of what that reason could be, though.
“We are already deep into the night, why are you still awake, Carmelita?” Josefina’s voice startled me. I didn’t notice her coming into my room and was now peeking into what I was writing in the diary.
I immediately closed the diary shut, “I read Juanito’s name. What did you write about him?” teased Josefina, gently elbowing me.
“Oh. It w-was nothing. I didn’t write his name. Why would I do that?” I denied. I placed the diary in the drawer and laid myself down on the bed. Josefina kept on nodding, a teasing smile still on her face. “Okay, if that’s what you say,” she said. It was written all over her face that she didn’t believe a thing I was saying.
I draped my blanket over me. She switched off the bedside lamp and went out of the room.
THE FOLLOWING MORNING, Doña Soledad called me to the library. I didn’t lose my way because I had already been there with Lola Carmina. When I got inside, I saw that Doña Soledad was busy stacking books on a table.
She smiled when she saw me, “Have you finished all the books you’ve been reading, anak?” she asked. I choked. What had Carmelita been reading? I never got into the habit of reading books.
"Yes?" I hesitated. I myself wasn’t sure of how I should respond. "By the way, these books are from your *Tía Rosario. She said that these are all for you,” she said with a smile. I stared at the tall pile of books on the table. Each was thick. That was a lot of books, and with those, there were also a lot of problems. How will I read them? Most of them had Spanish titles on the spine.
“Aren’t you excited, Carmelita?” I was shaken back to reality by Doña Soledad’s question. She must have noticed that I looked worried. I was worried— worried about what I would tell people who asked me if I had already read all these books.
I forced a smile. I could feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead. “Yes, I’m really happy,” I smiled in confusion.
She started to walk toward me. I felt that she was about to ask me something that only Carmelita could answer. I needed to escape right now.
“Ah, Mother, I will just go to Tía Rosario to give my thanks,” I said. Doña Soledad looked bemused.
“But your Tía Rosario is in Laguna, Carmelita. She just asked someone to bring these here. Have you already forgotten?” I swallowed hard. I felt my mouth going dry.
“W-what I was trying to say is, I will be writing her a letter. I’m going back to my room,” I could now feel the streaks of sweat on my forehead. Doña Soledad gave me a weak smile, “Yes, it’s only right for you to send her your thanks. Also, don’t forget to thank God for all the blessings you’ve been receiving.”
THAT EVENING, while we were having dinner, I asked permission from Don Alejandro to let me go to Juanito’s house, to which he disagreed because it was already late in the evening. He arrived home late and that was why I wasn’t able to ask permission earlier. If only there were smartphones, I could have just texted him.
I was lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. I was bored out of my skull and it was only eight in the evening, but people were already starting to go to bed. I looked at the door when I heard Theresita’s voice outside.
"Binibini, your Mother asked me to bring these books to you so you can already start reading them,” she said as she stacked the books on the table. I could only let out a sigh of resignation.
“Do you need anything else, Binibini?" Theresita asked who was now standing by the door. Suddenly, a brilliant thought came to mind.
"BINIBINING CARMELITA, are you sure about this ?" Theresita whispered to me. She looked very nervous. We were now in front of the window of Juanito’s room. I saw him looking out of that window earlier today, that was why I concluded that that was indeed his room. It wasn’t hard for us to get into Hacienda Alfonso because I could still remember the secret passageway Juanito showed me before.
“Don’t mention my name, someone might hear you,” I hushed her. Theresita’s hands were shaking while holding the lamp. “Yes, I’m sure about this and nobody can stop me,” I continued and gave her a reassuring smile. She was clearly not used to breaking the rules.
It was a little hard climbing the window to Juanito’s room because it was positioned quite high. "Binibini, please be careful,” whispered Theresita. I stepped on the windowsill and glanced at Theresita below. I signaled to her that I was okay.
I scanned Juanito’s room. To be fair, it was clean and orderly. There were thick books on his shelves. His carved wooden animals caught my attention. They looked similar to the ones sold in souvenir shops.
“W-who are you?” I was startled to hear Juanito’s voice behind me. “W-wait! Don’t look!” he continued. And because I was not the type to be ordered around, I turned to face him.
I was so shocked to see him naked with only a small towel covering his privates. It looked like he just finished taking a bath because his hair was still dripping wet.
"Carmelita?" he asked, surprised. He remained frozen to his spot. "H-how did you get in …” his voice trailed off when he realized that he was undressed. He quickly put his clothes on.
“Ahhh. I went in through your window,” I answered then pointed to the window. He was clearly rattled and took awhile to finish dressing up. Once he was done, he locked the door and closed the windows.
“What if you fell from the window?” he asked me softly, but seriously. “I know how to climb windows,” I answered sternly.
“What are you doing here? Father might catch you. How did you manage to sneak out of your house? Don Alejandro would surely not allow this because it’s already late at night,” he asked in rapid-fire fashion. I wanted to tell him that it was only past eight. In my time, the evening news would have just ended. I can stay up all night surfing the internet.
“Can you just chill?” I told him, holding both his shoulders. This made his eyes pop out and he looked at my hands which were on his shoulders. I immediately withdrew them when I realized that I shouldn’t be touching him.
I paced around his room and inspected his belongings. “First, the reason why I’m here is because I have something important to tell you,” I started. I pulled out a thick book from his shelves and opened it. It seemed like a book on medicine. I closed it and put it back, not understanding a thing.
“Second, your Father won’t find out that I’m here because I’m an expert,” I continued as I dusted my hands. I scrutinized a dog carved out of wood. It looked like Sampaguita, his pet, who seemed to harbor some hatred toward me.
“Third, people have always said that if there’s a will, there’s a way. That’s why I was able to sneak out of our house,” I added before sitting down on his bed. It wasn’t as soft as mine. He was wearing a white shirt paired with white pants. He looked like someone in an advertisement for detergent.
“W-what do you want to tell me? Why can’t it wait until tomorrow?” he asked, a little more calmly now.
“You already need to know about it now. I don’t want to waste time. Plus, I couldn’t sleep because it’s still too early. It’s so boring at home,” I complained and laid down on the bed. My back was aching after climbing the window.
I looked at Juanito who was staring at me. He was still rooted to where he was standing. I sat down. Maybe he was grossed out by my dirty feet. I didn’t know Juanito was this fussy.
I stopped when I remembered that people here were conservative! I stood up immediately. He might be thinking that I was seducing him!
“I drank some alcohol that’s why I’m like this,” I said with a smile. I was surprised when he walked toward me.
“You don’t smell of beer,” he said. Did he just smell me? I haven’t taken a bath this evening yet. How embarrassing!
I walked toward the bookshelves and started browsing the titles. I needed to change the topic. “Oh, so you’ve already read Noli Me Tangere," I asked him, pulling the book out. I didn’t remember the story anymore because I didn’t listen to my teacher back in high school.
I was startled to see him beside me. He took the book from my hands and placed it inside the drawer as if hiding it from prying eyes. "Binibining Carmelita, why did you go all the way here?" He sounded more serious. He must already be running out of patience.
I inhaled deeply. “I know that you’re against this arranged marriage. That’s why we have to work together to stop it from happening,” I said. He was just looking at me, seemingly unconvinced by what I was saying.
“How can you say that I’m against this wedding?” he asked. I noticed his Adam’s apple quivering.
“You love someone else, right?” I said as I walked toward the table with the wooden animals. “I will help you and Helena,” I said. He didn’t respond.
“Helena likes you, too,” I added. I knew it was not right for me to have said that, but I needed to ignite Juanito’s hope that Helena liked him back.
“This wedding is important for our families. I don’t want to go against my Father’s wishes. You should also do well and follow what your Father wants,” he reminded. Filial piety was really a huge deal to these people.
I turned to look at him. I had to use my convincing skills. “What about your dreams? Your heart? Would you just allow someone else to dictate how you should live your life?” I stepped closer to him, gesturing wildly.
“Helena has a crush on you. You have a crush on her. You have a crush on each other. Please don’t let me intrude in your love story,” he looked puzzled at what I said. I inhaled deeply. It was so hard to explain things to Juanito.
“What are you talking about?”
“What I’m saying is, we should avoid getting into a situation that we didn’t choose for ourselves. Helena has had feelings for you for the longest time. I don’t want our friendship to be ruined just because of a man,” I said. I remembered Shae.
“What is your reason? Why don’t you like for the wedding to push through?” he looked genuinely confused, all I could do was to take another deep breath.
“It just can’t happen,” I was already sweating. I hope he stops asking more questions. I couldn’t just say that he will die should our wedding push through. “I just don’t want other people to tell me what I should do,” I said firmly. Juanito nodded slowly.
“You hold on strongly to your principles,” he praised me. He smiled. Why was he always smiling?
“Don’t worry, I’ll help you out with Helena, but under one condition,” I said with a smirk. Maybe he was thinking that I would be extorting him. I wondered how much Juanito’s allowance was. I felt bad about that idea. Don Alejandro would be mad if he knew I was thinking of extorting Juanito.
“Just promise me that no matter what happens, you will stay alive,” he didn’t know that his safety was my number one priority at this point. He had to stay alive for me to fulfill my mission.
We both jumped in surprise when somebody knocked and was able to open the door. Didn’t Juanito lock the door? We were about to block the door but we were too late as Juanito’s youngest brother barged inside seeing the two of us together.
Angelito gave me a startled look before I managed to jump out of the window. I held on tightly to the rope with Theresita holding the opposite end. “Run!” I shouted at her and we scampered away without looking back.
THE FOLLOWING MORNING, I woke up to a start because of Theresita gently pulling on my arm, saying, "Binibining Carmelita, wake up already. Ginoong Juanito is downstairs waiting for you.” This made me stand up as quickly as somebody waking up from a nightmare.
“What! Why?!” I stammered.
I was worried that he would rat out on me to Don Alejandro!
I bolted to the door when Theresita stopped me, "Binibining, wait, you still have to make yourself presentable," she exclaimed. I didn’t listen to her plea. I had to keep Juanito from telling my dad about last night!
When I reached the bottom of the stairs I saw that Don Alejandro, Doña Soledad, and Juanito were already in the living room. They all looked at me. Juanito gave me his customary greeting—he stood up, took off his hat, and pulled it to his chest, “G-good morning, Binibining Carmelita."
“Carmelita! Why are you looking like that?! It’s embarrassing for Señor Juanito. Go up again and fix yourself!” Doña Soledad ordered me, clearly panicking. She stood up and pushed me up the stairs and back to my room.
When we reached my room, she made me look at myself in the mirror. My eyes widened after seeing my reflection. My hair was all over the place, my face was pale, I had eye boogers and dried drool on my cheeks!
IT WAS LATE IN THE MORNING, I thought Juanito had already left. I was surprised to find him eating with the others in the dining room. I turned to head back to my room but they already saw me.
“Come, join us, Carmelita,” Maria called on me. All eyes were on me. They were smiling at me and looked at Juanito who suddenly felt shy and wiped his mouth.
“Señor Juanito has been waiting for you, what time is it already?” Josefina added. It was as if she was saying that it was already noon, the sun was at its peak and it was only now that I decided to wake up.
I can’t do anything but sit beside Josefina. My food had already been laid out in front of me. “It is but proper for you to show Juanito around our hacienda after letting him wait for so long,” Don Alejandro said. He was calm but I knew that it was not a good idea to go against his wishes.
I looked at Juanito and saw that he was trying to hide a smile. Why did it seem like my family was taking his side?
When we were done eating, they escorted Juanito and me out of the mansion, “Don’t stray too far. Just stay within the boundaries of the hacienda,” Don Alejandro reminded us as Maria and Josefina nodded in agreement behind him. Doña Soledad flashed us a smile.
They went back to the mansion, waved at us, and closed the door behind them. Wow! That was surprising. They even closed the door!
“Woah! You have really charmed your way into their hearts,” I teased him to which he smiled. “And the wind is strong here,” I added. I felt that he was about to ask me if I was referring to him so I beat him to it and said, “What I mean is the breeze is strong here outside. Let’s go there." He dutifully followed me.
"Binibini, how are you feeling? Is any part of your body painful? Allow me to check you up,” I stopped walking to look at him.
“Are you thinking that I might have broken a bone when I jumped out of the window? Don’t worry, I can take care of myself. I won’t put myself in danger,” I said.
“That’s good then,” he answered with a smile.
I coughed softly and continued walking. He caught up and walked beside me. “Wait, if I really did break a bone, why will you check up on me?”
“I’m studying medicine," he said. Oh, so Juanito is a med student.
“Oh. O-okay. That’s good,” I didn’t know why I said that. I didn’t know what to say. It might have given him the impression that Carmelita knew nothing about what was happening around her.
A few moments passed when we finally reached the lake, “We’re here,” I said and sat on the soft grass.
“Why did you bring me here at Lawa ng Luha?” Juanito asked me looking perplexed. I saw that he was not exactly impressed by the beauty of the surroundings.
“Why not? It’s beautiful here. The air is fresh, the water is clean, and the breeze is cool,” I said. He still looked unimpressed. If we were in my world, this would have been a park with couples packing on the PDA in every corner and at every opportunity.
“Yes, it’s lovely here, but the lake tells of a not-so-beautiful legend,” he explained. Juanito picked up a stone and threw it to the lake.
“The elders tell of a lady whose heart got broken. She wept and wept until life left her body. It was her tears that formed this lake,” he continued.
The story made me sad. Carmelita made the legend of this lake come true when she drowned herself in its waters.
It was my turn to pick up a stone and throw it at the lake, “Maybe that’s what really happened to the lady in your story. But I’ll make sure that won’t happen in real life. No woman will die in this lake just because of a broken heart,” I said, my eyes transfixed on the lake.
Dear Diary,
I will do my best to make sure that Carmelita will not take her own life in the lake … just because of you … Juanito.
Feeling miserable,
Carmela