HIS WORDS LEFT ME FLUSTERED that I didn’t realize right away that I lost my footing. I fell and landed squarely on my butt. The dog scampered away in fright.
A sharp pain radiated through my hips. I fell on the floor earlier today when the nuns suddenly let go of me. Now, I fell again on the floor, right after this guy said that he will catch me when I fall!
“Binibini, are you hurt?” I heard him ask. He knelt beside me and looked at me. I wanted to shout at him, I thought that he would catch me!
“What are you doing there anyway?” he asked me, looking confused. I tried hard to stand up even if my hips and butt were throbbing in pain. I looked at him and he was just staring at me. I wanted to retort that yeah I am a thief like what he insinuated earlier.
“Don’t you have any intention to help me out?” I asked and lifted an eyebrow. I thought that guys during this time were gentlemen!
“But, Binibini, I am not supposed to just touch you,” he responded as he stood up. So, men these days really are conservative as well. I was supposed to say something back but we heard Madre Olivia’s voice. We also made out the shadow of someone coming our way.
I looked at him, I tried to take a step closer but I couldn’t even lift my feet because of the sharp pain. “Carry me! Quick!” I ordered Juanito. His eyes widened in surprise.
“But ... "
“She must not catch me! Quick! Bring me over there!” I whispered to him, but even our hushed voices seemed loud amid the deafening silence.
Left with no choice because of my insistence, Juanito reluctantly carried me. I could see that he looked shy and hesitant. I also noticed that he seemed to be straining under my weight. Well, I know that I was quite heavy.
“Here! Here!” I whispered to him. He carefully placed me down as we hid. Everywhere was pitch black and we could hardly see anything. The only source of light emanated from Madre Olivia’s lamp. She looked here and there for a bit before she crossed to the other street.
We hid in a corner of the sprawling Santa Isabel compound. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief and leaned on the wall to support myself. "That was a close call," I said, breaking the silence. I clutched my chest. My butt still hurt and I must have sprained my ankle.
I felt Juanito stiffen beside me. I couldn’t see him, but I could hear him breathe. I didn’t notice that I was still holding his hand. It felt cool and clammy.
When I looked at him, he immediately let go of my hand. "Juanito. Are you okay?" I asked and he inched away from me.
“How did you know my name?” He asked, clearly surprised that I knew this bit of information. I couldn’t see his face very clearly but I could tell that he was nervous.
“Long story,” I turned to look at him. I tried to look him straight in the eye even if I still couldn’t see him clearly as he was partly hidden in the shadows. "Juanito, listen to what I’m about to say,” I continued. Now I couldn’t even discern if he was still looking at or listening to me so I raised my hand, searched for his face, and touched it.
“Wa … wait …” he stammered. I felt that he wanted to get as far away from me as possible. I lowered my hand and took a deep breath. I thought he was too shocked and too scared. “What a lame duck,” I whispered to myself.
“Earlier, that nun said …” I realized that I didn’t know who broke the news to Madre Olivia that Juanito was at Santa Isabel. “A nun said that you’re here. She mentioned your name and that’s how I knew.” Juanito remained mum. I stifled a cough. Maybe he was thinking that I was taking advantage of him.
"Juanito. No matter what happens, don’t you dare fall in love with me,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
"In love?" he seemed genuinely confused by my words. I wrinkled my forehead and remembered that people from this period were not very familiar with the English language, just Filipino, local dialects, or Spanish.
I carefully chose my next words, "What I’m trying to say is that you should never love me no matter what.”
Deafening silence.
Now it was my turn to be startled—Juanito laughed quietly. Was he making fun of me?
“Is something funny?” I saw him stand up and he dusted off his clothes. I was about to follow suit but it still was difficult for me to move.
“Binibini, I hope you won’t get me wrong, but the truth is, my heart already belongs to someone else,” he earnestly said. I blinked a few times. Did I hear him correctly? Was he actually rejecting me?
I was about to say something but we heard Madre Olivia’s voice near where we were hiding. “Who’s there?” She started moving closer and closer to our spot.
“She can’t see me here,” I whispered to Juanito. I was getting nervous. I don’t want to be slapped again. I could only take so much slapping in one day. Juanito shot me a glance before stepping out of the shadows. He approached Madre Olivia.
"Juanito! *Hijo, what have you been doing there?" Madre Olivia asked, clearly puzzled by Juanito’s sudden appearance out of nowhere. She was about to step closer to him, but Juanito beat her to it and took several steps toward her, effectively blocking her way from where I was still huddled.
“Oh, it’s nothing, Madre Olivia. I’m just looking for Sampaguita,” he replied. The old nun seemed convinced as she nodded her head. “Is this dog yours? He’s here,” she motioned to a nun who was leading Juanito’s dog by a leash.
“He was barking by the front door earlier and we were wondering who his owner was,” Madre Olivia explained. I was carefully stealing glances at them. I looked at the dog which looked like an *aspin. It has a white coat and a long wagging tail. Looked like the furball wanted to rat me out to Madre Olivia.
“It’s getting late. You must go home now, Juanito,” said Madre Olivia. Juanito nodded his head in agreement, thanked her, and reached for Sampaguita’s leash. The dog was about to bark, good thing Juanito shushed him just in time.
THE FOLLOWING MORNING, I woke up to Josefina’s noise. She was packing her things. “Good morning, Carmelita,” she cheerfully greeted without looking at me, her hands were busy stuffing clothes into a black suitcase.
“Why? Where are we going?” I was puzzled as I realized that my sprained ankle was already in a cast and that some medication had been applied to my back. I don’t even remember doing these last night. I must have been so tired. I was able to go back to my room unnoticed by going through the back door. Good thing there were names plastered on each of the doors. Judging from the names on the door of this room, Josefina, Carmelita, and Helena must be roommates.
“We’re going home to San Alfonso. Vacation is not until next week, but Madre Olivia allowed us to go home early,” she explained. I continued staring at the ceiling. I noticed that it was decorated with ornate floral carvings.
I’d rather sleep the whole day. I still couldn’t wrap my head around what had been happening. Were all these real? Was I just dreaming? Or was I losing my marbles?
That last thought made me stand up—who knows, I might be really losing my mind already!
“I applied medicine to your bruise. And about your sprained ankle … don’t worry I was the only one who saw you with Señor Juanito last night,” she added with an impish smile like she was teasing me or what.
This caused me to blink twice. So what if Juanito and I were together last night? That was no big deal. But then I reminded myself that I was now more than a century away from what for me was the present. For these people, last night’s encounter with Juanito was a huge deal.
“I thought that you won’t be able to forget Leandro. He’s the reason why you joined me here, right?” she asked. I looked at her blankly. Now, who was this Leandro?
Too bad I couldn’t ask her because it would only make her confused. “Ah, the heart really is unpredictable. You wouldn’t know when and for whom it will beat again,” she added. Her roundabout way of saying things was giving me a headache.
A few moments later, somebody knocked on our door. Josefina opened it and respectfully greeted Madre Olivia. "The kalesa which will take us to the port is now waiting outside," she said. Josefina closed the suitcase and brought it with her downstairs.
Madre Olivia approached me and said, "Dress up now. The ship will be leaving soon and we cannot be late."
"Are you coming with us?" I asked her. I honestly didn’t want to leave. I didn’t have the energy to stand up, much less to join them.
“I won’t allow you to ruin what’s supposed to happen. I will be coming with you so I can keep an eye on you,” she answered. She looked as if she would be pulling me out of bed so I mustered all the strength I could and stood up. “I can manage. I'm a strong independent woman," I said as I struggled with all my might to heave myself to the bathroom and ignore the aches and pains that were rippling through my body. I was worried that she would notice my sprained ankle.
"I THOUGHT that you don’t want to travel by ship," I heard Josefina say. We just got off the rented kalesa and made our way to the port. With us was Madre Olivia.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing around me. I couldn’t believe that Manila was this clean and beautiful more than a century ago! There were hardly any tall structures, only the high and mighty walls of Intramuros from a distance.
The sky was a refreshing shade of blue. Everyone seemed so cheerful, especially the vendors. There was no heavy traffic, no smog nor fumes because horse-drawn carriages were the kings of the road.
Many of the women were clad in baro't saya. Some were dressed in elaborate gowns, not so different from those from the Victorian era. Well-heeled men wore bespoke suits. While the others wore a simple *camisa de chino.
I was wearing a yellow baro and a black saya. I hesitated to wear these earlier before we left, but where would I get a pair of shorts and pants here?
We boarded a wooden ship. It looked flimsy, that it would break apart if a huge wave hit it. Still, it looked well made and the floor was shiny.
“Good morning, Señoritas Josefina and Carmelita Montecarlos. I will now show you to your room,” greeted the steward who looked like he was already in his forties. He has a bushy beard and wears thick glasses.
“Thank you very much, Señor Buencamino. Did Father send us a letter?" asked Josefina. I was trailing them as we were walking toward our cabin. Madre Olivia was walking beside me and she was looking straight ahead.
“We’re now here, my ladies,” Señor Buencamino said while opening the door to our room. “Your Father has already rented this cabin, one of our most expensive ones. May you have a pleasant stay.”
I went inside first leaving them three outside. They were talking about how much each cabin costs. I didn’t mind them. I didn’t have the money to pay for this after all.
When I had a better look at what was inside, I let my fan fall to the floor in amazement. The room was huge. It was lovely, spotless, and had all the amenities one would be needing for a sea voyage. Most of the furnishings were coated in gold.
“I knew that you would not like this room and you would ask Father to not spend too much money on us. Father knows all too well that you don’t like a luxurious life, but he chooses to still provide you with the best as you are the one dearest to him,” I heard Josefina say who was behind me all this time.
So Carmela was very simple. Why was I here again? I will be sure to burn all her Father’s money.
“I’m Father’s favorite. Haven’t you ever felt jealous? Haven’t you ever resented Father for playing favorites?” My question probably struck Josefina as odd. She looked bemused.
“What I meant was … why does it seem as if Father loves me more than …” I swallowed my next words instead. Do I call their Dad, Father as well? It felt weird.
“So there … Why does it seem like Father loves me more than others like you?” Josefina chuckled at my question.
“Why would we be jealous? Maria and I love you just as much. You brought back joy to our family,” she smiled and put her arms over my shoulder. I wanted to ask her how I brought joy to the family, but I had to stop myself because I would just weird her out.
She led me to the window. We took in the beauty of the sea. Manila Bay was lovely—the water was pristine, there wasn’t a single piece of garbage in sight. Manila seemed bigger and people were more cheerful. It was so different from what I was used to.
The journey back to San Alfonso took a couple of days. I spent most of the time lying in bed and feeling seasick, even throwing up every so often. Eventually, I got used to the incessant rocking of the boat. Card games with Josefina kept boredom at bay. If we only had Uno cards here, I would surely beat them every single time.
I was now writing in Carmela’s old diary. I had never written in a diary before, but Madre Olivia asked me to do so to fill in the blank pages. I wrote about my first encounter with Juanito. He would certainly avoid me now. He was probably thinking I was too aggressive. That would be better so that he wouldn’t have any connection with Carmelita.
“It’s as if you’re jotting down all your frustrations in that journal,” I heard Madre Olivia say. She was standing by the door of our room. Josefina woke up early and went out for a bit.
“You shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t have shown yourself to him last night,” I blinked twice. How did Madre Olivia know that Juanito and I had already seen each other?
I rolled my eyes. So, she saw us after all? After I sprained my ankle because of all the hiding. “You can’t hide anything from me, Carmela,” she added. All I could do is breathe deeply and close the diary.
“Why did you push me through the Arch of the Centuries? I stumbled and it was painful,” I said. Madre Olivia walked toward me with an earnest look on her face like she wanted to reprimand me.
“Learn how to say *po and *opo. Respect and proper conduct are important in this time.” I stifled a cough. I was not used to saying po and opo. Even at home, that was not how we talked to Dad.
“You shouldn’t have shown yourself to Juanito last night. Expect a lot of things that are bound to happen to change because of what you did. Now, it will be harder for you to finish your mission,” she said. I dared not look at her. Her manner of reprimanding scared me.
“Ready yourself. We’ve arrived,” she ordered me before turning around to leave. As soon as Madre Olivia was no longer in sight, I looked out of the window. My eyes popped out of their sockets at the sight of all the people by the port of San Alfonso. Almost all of them were waving at us.
I gulped. My mission was about to start.