JUANITO AND I LOOKED AT EACH OTHER. We were both in disbelief that both our families were in front of us.
“What’s the meaning of this?!” Don Mariano’s booming voice reverberated around us. He looked directly at Juanito. "Apologies, Father and Don Alejandro. This doesn’t mean anything. We were just looking ..." Don Mariano didn’t let Juanito finish his words.
“Does this mean anything? Are you secretly meeting each other? Is this what I taught you, Juanito?” His Father demanded. Everybody was quietly looking at us. I looked at Madre Olivia but she looked down, refusing to meet my gaze. I could see that she wanted to help, but couldn’t do anything.
I remembered that seeing an unmarried man and woman unchaperoned together is frowned upon these days. I absentmindedly touched my forehead. Why didn’t I think of that sooner?
The atmosphere was rife with tension. How do I get out of this? Good thing I remembered what I usually did when trying to wriggle myself out of a tight spot, especially when Dad was reprimanding me, “Oh … oh no… I feel faint,” I said while pretending to lose balance and fainted. Doña Soledad, Maria, and Josefina rushed to my side.
"Carmelita!" Doña Soledad called out my name. She held my face in her hands and gently tapped my cheeks. Maria and Josefina started fanning me furiously. "Wake up, child!" The others also tried waking me up, but no matter what they did I refused to open my eyes.
I felt someone sitting down beside me. It was Madre Olivia. She felt my forehead and neck. “Carmelita must be exhausted. It would be better if we let her rest,” she said. Good thing Madre Olivia caught on to my escape plan.
“Maybe she still hasn’t fully recovered her strength after that long journey home. You haven’t really rested yet since you arrived,” I heard Maria say. I wanted to open my eyes and tell her that Juanito and I were in this mess because we were looking for her. #FeelingBetrayed.
Don Alejandro stifled a cough, “You may all go ahead. We shall talk about the misconduct of these two first,” I wanted to check on everyone’s reaction but I had to close my eyes quickly when I saw Juanito glance at me.
DOÑA SOLEDAD WAS GENTLY massaging my arms and hands. She said that this will help drive the pain away by helping my blood properly flow again. "Carmelita, anak, don’t take to heart what your Father said earlier. For sure he was just as shocked as we were,” she said. I ended my act as soon as we arrived at the family’s mansion. I couldn’t feign sleep for too long a time.
I looked at Doña Soledad. She looks a little like Mommy. They both have long wavy hair, a smallish nose, and a slender physique. "Your Father can’t stay mad at you for so long. He loves you very much. He will do everything for you and your sisters,” she continued. I chose to stare at the ceiling. I found it weird that I had a mom here. In a way, I wanted to experience what it was like to have a mommy again.
“I didn’t see you for a couple of months, anak. How was life in Manila?” She smiled at me. How would I answer her? I had no idea how Carmelita spent her days in Manila. It was as if I could tell her that we had a report in Prof. Hermios’ class before I got whisked away to this point in history.
I might have seemed like a fool as I smiled to myself. I was able to do away with our reporting! “It has been good, I’m okay.” I didn’t notice myself saying these while smiling, still looking at the ceiling.
“Okay? Is that word commonly used in Manila?” she asked me, looking confused. This jolted me back to reality. I tried to smile back at her. Madre Olivia had been right all this time— it was better if I just kept my mouth shut.
“Life was good. Something like that … po,” I choked on my words. I really was not used to using po and opo.
She smiled and started stroking my hair. “As time goes by, you will learn more things. You will be God’s servant as well,” she took my hand and pressed it gently.
“I’m just a little sad that in a way, I want you to have your own family. But, it’s also a good thing being God’s maidservant,” she added. It was clear from Doña Soledad’s face that she was against Carmelita’s entering the convent—which made me think, what made her decide to be a nun? Was it because she wanted to follow in the footsteps of Josefina?
“Rest now, my child. Tomorrow, make sure you make amends with your Father,” she said with a smile. She stood up and gave me a butterfly kiss on my forehead. She tucked me in before leaving the room. I looked all around me. This was the same room where Lola Carmina asked me to sleep in. So this was Carmelita’s room!
"SEÑORITA CARMELITA, please wake up already,” I heard a lady speak while pulling my blanket away from me.
"Jenny ... Emily ... leave me alone," I snapped and pulled the blanket back.
“Binibini, this is Theresita,” this caused me to open my eyes in an instant. “Your Mother asked me to wake you up because you’ll be late for the first mass of the day,” I looked at the lady who tried to take my blanket.
I blinked twice at her. Who the hell was this girl?
“Binibini, I’ve already prepared your bath and your clothes,” she smiled at me while pointing at the cabinet. I examined her closely. She has slanted eyes, skin the color of coffee with milk, and long straight hair. She seemed very young.
I stood up. I couldn’t believe that I was still stuck here.
She quickly gathered my clothes and handed them to me, catching me off-guard. “Give me your clothes, please,” she said. I touched my long white dress—wait, was she going to help me out of my clothes? Was that part of her job description?
“No, don't bother. I’ll do it myself. I want to be alone. I’ll go ahead and take a bath. Just wait for me outside,” I said. She smiled and nodded her head. “Surely, Binibini.”
“Wait! How old are you again?” I asked her. I couldn’t shake the thought that she looked so young.
“I’m 13 years old po, Binibini.” Thirteen. She was only thirteen.
“Do you still need anything, Binibini?” I shook my head in reply. I followed her until she was completely out of the room. That girl was working hard at such a young age! When I was thirteen, I spent all of my time on Facebook.
I STARED DUMBSTRUCK at the green baro't saya she was holding in front of me. “Is that what I’m going to wear?" I blinked twice. The dress is pretty, but it would make me look like a plant.
“Yes, Binibini”, Theresita answered and held my shoulders. It’s as if she’s already used to dressing Carmelita up. "No … no ... it’s okay. I can do it by myself," I insisted, which made her frown. I am not used to having someone else look at me while I’m dressing up.
“Please wait for me outside like what you did earlier,” this made Theresita bow her head as if in resignation. “I’ll call on you when I’m done. Then you can help me with my face.”
“Yes, Binibini,” she responded with a smile and quickly dashed out of the room. I sat down on a chair and looked at myself in the huge mirror in front of me.
I still can’t believe that I’m now the lady in the painting. Is this still my body? I checked in the mirror if the birthmark on my nape is still there. I was awash with relief when I saw it there. This is still my body after all.
"Binibini, here it is!" Theresita said with a big smile. She was holding the fabric from which the ribbon on my dress was made. “This is the kolorete that was recently bought by your Mother," she continued as she lined up little colorful jars in front of me. I blinked twice. Kolorete. So this was their make-up during this time?
"CARMELITA, what’s taking you too long to prepare?" Maria was standing by the doorway. "Mother is starting to feel bored. Come, let’s go,” she said.
We were in the town center in no time. If this were 2016, we surely would have been stuck in traffic.
San Alfonso’s main church was impressive, both in beauty and size. There were so many people, their bodies adding to the humidity hanging in the air. I couldn’t remember the last time I was inside a church. We are not devout Catholics. Sundays for us were for going to the mall or seeing a movie.
I caught a glimpse of Juanito. He was seated on the opposite side with his parents. I quickly looked away when he caught sight of me. I found myself unable to concentrate during the mass.
As soon as the mass ended, I went out of the church and to our kalesa ahead of the others. Doña Soledad, Josefina, and Maria were walking slowly while talking to Doña Juanita.
I wanted to shout at them and ask them to walk faster because Juanito will surely follow his mom. He might catch up to us!
I made a dash for them. “Why? Why are you in a hurry, Carmelita," Josefina asked. I closed my eyes and whispered to her ear that one thing that will surely help anyone who was trying to wriggle out of a potentially embarrassing situation.
I saw her eyes widen, “Why? What is it?” it was Maria’s turn to ask. Josefina then whispered what I said to Maria’s ear. Doña Juanita and Doña Soledad looked at us. Maria finally whispered to Doña Soledad, causing her to look at me and ask, “You can’t hold it in anymore, anak?”
I nodded my head like those wobbly-headed dogs displayed in the dashboards of cabs. Doña Soledad was about to bid Doña Juanita farewell but she suddenly called on Juanito who had just exited the church’s doors.
Juanito approached us with a smile. My eyebrows were closing in on each other. I was so irritated that what I was trying to avoid was now happening before my very eyes. They spent so much time on mindless chatter that we weren’t able to go home much sooner.
“A pleasant morning, Doña Soledad. And to you, Señoritas, Juanito greeted us with a smile and let his gaze fall on me. What was he looking all so peppy about?
“Apologies, Doña Juanita and Señor Juanito, but we must make haste and go ahead,” Maria said and looked at me.
“But the mass just ended. Aren’t you going to join us in our get-together later?” Doña Juanita asked, confused as to why we were in such a hurry.
“Carmelita can’t hold it in anymore,” Josefina responded. Her answer startled me. Everyone turned to look at me with a worried look as if I would relieve myself in front of them at this very moment.
I saw myself being whisked far away from them, their figures getting smaller and smaller as if in a tunnel vision. I could hear Josefina’s voice over and over and over again saying—
She’s about to poop. She’s about to poop. She’s about to poop.
I saw Juanito trying so hard to stifle a laugh. Doña Soledad discreetly pinched Josefina and she made a mad dash to the kalesa.
“WHERE IS Theresita? Why isn’t she with us?” I asked. We are standing by the side of the road waiting for the procession and the parade to begin. We didn’t go home anymore after I told them I no longer needed to answer the call of nature. What’s the use if I had already been embarrassed in front of Juanito and Doña Juanita?
“Theresita? Our helper?” asked Maria. Josefina was not with us. She went home with Doña Soledad to pray.
“She can come with us if you ask permission from Mother and Father,” Maria answered. After the parade, Maria brought me to an area where vendors selling everything from snacks to trinkets set up makeshift stalls.
Colorful clothes, delectable food, jars of kolorete, even jewelry. It was a vibrant sight. While Maria and I were busy choosing from among the many trinkets on display, a tall, fair-skinned lady joined us. She gave each of us a piercing look.
I remember her. If I was not mistaken, she was Natasha. She was one of the ladies in the convent who slapped me thinking that I was being possessed.
“My brother has been away for only six months yet I’ve been hearing talks of you meeting with someone else,” she earnestly said. She looked like she hated the world and I was the first to receive her ire.
“Careful with what you say, Natasha,” Maria said threateningly. Her fierceness caught me by surprise. But I liked that. We wouldn’t allow this woman to just push us around. I didn’t even know her. I wanted to whisper to Maria, “So, can we gang up on her now?”
“Why? Isn’t it true what I’ve been hearing? That the respectable youngest child of the Montecarlos family has been secretly meeting up unchaperoned with a young man in the middle of the night. What will people think?” she retorted. I wrinkled my forehead and was about to snap back but Maria beat me to it.
“Apologies, Natasha. But what you heard are just rumors,” she answered. I looked at her. Why did she suddenly become respectful?
"Lo sé, es verdad. I know it’s true,” quipped Natasha codeswitching to Spanish. She held Maria’s gaze. This made me all the more confused. I couldn’t understand what they were saying. I looked at one and then the other and back again. I wanted to butt in, but I was clueless at what they were talking about.
"Hablar contigo es una pérdida de tiempo (Talking to you is such a waste of time),” Maria answered back and reached for my hand.
"Vamos, Carmelita! Let’s go!" Maria added and pulled me away from Natasha. Did she say ‘vamos’? I remember Dora.
“Don’t take to heart whatever Natasha said. That's just how she is. Be careful how you deal with her,” Maria said. I thought to myself—how would I be able to mind what she said when I couldn’t understand a word she was saying?
We were in the mansion of a family friend whom I don’t know. We would be having lunch with them. Similar to the dinner we had at the Alfonso mansion, there was a long table in the middle of the dining hall that was filled with all sorts of mouthwatering food.
While I was getting my share, I almost dropped the serving spoon when I saw Juanito walking towards us. He was with a fair-skinned and lovely lady who was dressed extravagantly. She was holding his arm and they were laughing.
Womanizer spotted!
They looked and smiled at us, which surprised me. I glanced beside and behind me. Was I the one they were smiling at?
"Carmelita! How have you been?!" The lady let go of Juanito’s arms and walked toward me with a smile. I was even more surprised when she hugged me. “It has been far too long since we last saw each other. I have so many stories I want to share with you!" She excitedly said and took my hands.
“Go talk to each other first. Hand me your plate, Carmelita,” Maria said with a smile as she took the empty plate from my hands. I was already hungry. Can’t we eat first before I talk to this lady whom I didn’t even know?
"Kuya Juanito, wait," she asked Juanito. I looked at them back and forth. They didn’t look alike but she called Juanito “kuya”. Were they siblings? Cousins?
“Okay, Sonya. Just let me know if you already want to go home,” he responded to the lady whose name was Sonya and who was now clutching my arm. “Good afternoon, Binibining Carmelita,” Juanito greeted me as he removed his sombrero and put it over his chest.
I didn’t have a clue as to how I should respond to such a greeting so I turned my attention to Sonya instead, “You have something to tell me, right? Come, let’s go there.” She pulled me toward the balcony.
When we reached a discreet corner, Sonya still clung to my arm. I wouldn’t be surprised if my arm got detached from my shoulder with how tightly she was tugging me. She looked so excited to see me.
“Carmelita, I’m so glad and thankful that I listened to your advice,” she started speaking, a smile still plastered on her face. I smiled back even if I didn’t really like smiling.
“Really? Then good for you,” I told her, feeling awkward. I had no idea what piece of advice Carmelita gave Sonya.
“It is indeed true that you can teach your heart to love someone, just like what you said. I really didn’t like to marry Ignacio, good thing you advised me. I tried to love him and now I’m happy being his wife,” she smiled as if she were on cloud nine. I looked at my arm. Goosebumps were sprouting. I will never be this corny should I fall in love.
“By the way, is it true what they’re saying? That you and my Kuya Juanito are starting to get along,” she asked. Her smile started to fade with a worried look taking over the radiance.
“It was nothing. He just helped look for Maria. People saw us together and started coming up with stories,” I explained. Sonya looked confused, "Aahh … what I meant was, Don Mariano saw us and reprimanded us a bit,” I tried to take back what I earlier said. Sonya nodded.
“Be more careful next time. Now you know how fast rumors spread around here,” Sonya reminded me gently.
"Also, Carmelita, I went to Helena’s place earlier today. She’s also back in San Alfonso. She mentioned something that I think you should be worried about,” she continued.
“We have been friends for far too long. I hope you won’t do anything that would hurt her feelings. I know that you didn’t intend and didn’t foresee what happened, but it would be much better for you to try and talk things over with Helena.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused. Carmelita did someone wrong? Did it mean that I should be the one to apologize? No way.
“Have you forgotten? Helena has long harbored feelings for Kuya Juanito,” she said. It took me a few seconds to process what she said. How would I know that someone else had a crush on Juanito aside from Carmelita?
“Please don’t forget the things Helena did for you and Leandro,” Sonya added, toying with my fingers. “It’s not only because they’re siblings, but Helena also wants you to end up with her brother.” I blinked twice at this. It was confirmed. That Leandro guy had something to do with Carmelita.
I couldn’t believe that Carmelita had a secret boyfriend!