I SHOOK MY HEAD. “Remember to keep our plan a secret,” I said as I tried to look away. I will charge a minimal delivery fee next time. I’ll tell them that the promo period is over. These and other thoughts were running in my head when I heard Father clear his throat behind us, “The sun is setting, hijo," he reminded Juanito. Father was standing by the door and he looked at the letter Juanito was clutching in his right hand. Juanito pocketed it in a jiffy.
He smiled, probably thinking that we had been exchanging love letters. "Goo-good evening, Don Alejandro,” greeted Juanito and did his usual gesture of removing his sombrero and putting it on his chest while taking a slight bow.
“You take care on your way home, Juanito,” Don Alejandro said as he bade Juanito goodbye. I followed Father inside but not without looking at Juanito one last time, signaling for him to get moving before the others see him and invite him for dinner and tease us the entire time.
That same night, I knocked on the door of my Father’s office. I gently opened the door and saw that he was reading a newspaper. “Oh, it’s you, hija. Come,” he glanced at me then quickly went back to what he had been reading. I went inside slowly, still debating what I should be calling him, although I had been trying my best to get used to calling him ‘Father’.
"Don--Father," I said tentatively. He lowered the newspaper he was reading to look at me. "When I was at the market in the town across the lake, one of the store owners asked me to convey you their concerns …” I inhaled deeply. What I said was a tad too long and confusing. "The farmers were asking if you could not push through with increasing their rent." Don Alejandro folded the newspaper and placed it on the table.
“May I know who said this? It’s important to hear out our workers' concerns and do what we can to address these.” Hope sprang in my heart. It seemed as if Don Alejandro was not difficult to talk to!
“Aling Trinidad,” I answered. He nodded. “I’m glad to see how concerned you are with our workers’ welfare. Bueno, I’ll make sure to lower the rent next week,” Father answered with a smile.
THE FOLLOWING DAY, Theresita handed me a letter as soon as I woke up, "It’s from Señorita Helena."
I took the envelope from her and opened it. It was written in Spanish. I couldn’t understand a word. I looked at Theresita and judging from her puzzled look, she also couldn’t understand a thing. “What does it say, Binibini?” she asked.
I swallowed. I remembered that Carmelita loved reading books in Spanish. “Uhm … It’s nothing. She just sent a poem.” When Theresita asked what the poem is about, I just said that it was about Helena’s love life. Helena was asking me to edit her poem. My answers seemed to have satisfied Theresita who just nodded with a smile.
After our *merienda, I went up to my room to sleep early. I thought that finally I was already used to their sleeping habits here. I just closed my eyes when somebody knocked on the door. Before I could even ask who was disturbing my peace, Josefina opened the door and came in.
"Carmelita, what are you doing lying down in bed? We are going somewhere important.” Josefina asked me, clearly confused as to why I was clad in my sleepwear. I looked at her from head to toe. Why was she dressed to the nines?
“What time is it? Where are we going?” I asked her lazily while still lying on my back.
“Didn’t you receive Helena’s letter?” she asked, incredulous and with her hands on her waist. “Oh is that it?” I pointed at the envelope on top of my desk. She picked it up, opened it, and took the letter out.
“This is an invitation to her twentieth birthday! Don’t you have any plans of attending?” This made me stand up and gape at Josefina. How the hell would I have known that it was an invitation?
I also had no idea that today is Helena’s birthday!
Why didn’t she tell me? Wait … I slapped my forehead in frustration. Of course, she wouldn’t tell me because she would expect her best friend Carmelita to know!
I quickly opened my cabinet and chose from Carmelita’s many dresses. Good thing that she has impeccable fashion sense which suits my taste. I took out one and dressed up in a hurry. Maria and Theresita helped me with my makeup because we were already running late.
Maria started fixing my hair. She really is the prettiest of us three. “What is your gift for Helena?” she asked, causing my eyes to widen in horror. I still didn’t have a gift for her!
Maria and Theresita were shocked when I started rummaging through Carmelita’s jewelry box. I was thinking of just picking one from what’s inside to give to Helena. But I changed my mind when I thought that she might be offended when she had already seen me wear the piece I would be giving her.
I rooted through my cabinet and stopped when I saw the hair tie with the red flower which Juanito gave me. It still smelled like new and I haven’t used it yet anyway. This is what I’ll be giving her.
HELENA’S PARTY HAD ALREADY STARTED when we arrived at their mansion. She had lots of guests. One could easily discern that they had carefully planned the occasion. The motif was white and gold. Every table had a vase of fresh flowers.
Josefina joined Natasha and the other girls from the convent at one table. Mother and Father were talking to their friends in another. Maria and I were left standing in one corner. Before long, the Alfonsos arrived. Sonya immediately ran toward us and hugged me. "By the way, I’m with Ignacio," Sonya said with a smile. She pulled to her side a tall, handsome mestizo-looking guy.
“Good evening, señoritas." He greeted us. Maybe this was Sonya’s husband, the one she mentioned before. I wasn’t sure. What if I was wrong? I decided to just keep silent. “We’re happy to see you again, Señor Ignacio,” Maria greeted him with a smile. I also smiled to support Maria’s statement that we were indeed happy to see him again.
Juanito greeted us as soon as he arrived. He smiled at me in a way that suggested that we were already very close. “Looks like you are well-prepared for the evening, Binibini,” he whispered to me. I wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or if he was just trying to poke fun at me.
“You’re even more prepared than I am,” I teased him. His outfit made him look like an orchestra conductor.
Laura, Helena, and Natasha’s maidservant approached us, “You may put your gift for Señorita Helena here.” She thrust a basket toward us and we carefully placed our gifts inside except for Juanito.
Ignacio, Sonya, and Maria looked at him in disbelief. They were surprised that Juanito forgot to bring a gift. I smiled to myself. Good thing I was resourceful.
“I’ll give my gift later,” he said. I wanted to laugh. He probably just asked someone to buy him a gift.
A few minutes had passed and Helena still hadn’t come down to welcome us. Sonya was accompanied by her husband to a table where they started chatting with friends. I didn’t join them because somebody might know who Carmelita was and I wouldn’t know how to answer their questions.
Juanito and I were left to ourselves at the Montecarlos’ table. Why was he sitting here?
“Why don’t you join them?” I asked him. It looked like he also knew the guests his brother was talking to. “I’ll follow them in a bit. I’ll join you here first,” he answered. Oh okay. So I was the loner here.
I looked at the guests. This was such an unfamiliar experience for me. Children's party, debut, and bar parties—these were the only parties I had attended.
“For many people here, it’s their first time meeting one another. And if they’re lucky, they’ll meet the one destined for them,” I heard Juanito say. He must have noticed me keenly observing the guests with a look of awe and amazement.
“If only you went out and mingled with people more, I’m sure they would admire you and would want to be friends with you,” he continued. I glanced at him. Was he complimenting me?
“How can you say that they would like me?” I was not so sure if I liked myself, more so other people.
“You’re easy to talk to and be friends with,” he said, locking me in his gaze. I could read the sincerity in his eyes. I could feel my heartbeat going on overdrive again. I quickly averted my glance.
"Wh-who says that we’re already friends?” I said sternly to irritate him. It didn’t seem to be effective because he just smiled at me. The level of this guy’s confidence is out of this world. Astronomical, really.
“For me, you’re already a part of my life,” he said, rendering me dumbfounded.
“It’s just that our first encounter could have been better,” he continued. I inhaled deeply. Maybe I was just nervous at the thought of being asked by Mother to play the piano again.
“Which encounter are you talking about? When you saved me from that carriage?” I asked. He was right. That wasn’t exactly what you’d call a good first encounter.
“I was the only one who saw you then. You lost consciousness, remember?”
“Ah! When you thought I was a thief and you even asked your dog to attack me,” I said, which made him laugh. I didn’t know, but I felt like laughing as well.
“It seems like only yesterday when I thought you were a criminal. Now we’re friends,” he laughed. He was really insisting that we’re already friends.
“Do you want to change our memory from when we first met?” he asked. What he said made me confused. What was he trying to say?
“Let’s pretend that tonight is the first night we’re meeting each other.” He smiled, I wrinkled my forehead. So did he want us to roleplay now at a party no less?
“I would walk to that direction first and pretend to see you here,” he pointed at the door. I wanted to refuse but he already started to walk to the door. I couldn’t understand. What was going on?
Before I knew it, I straightened up in my seat. Whatever. Of course, I wouldn’t let myself be one-upped. I shall act as if a Best Actress Award was up for grabs. A few seconds later I saw him walk through the door. He walked toward the middle, looking left and right until his eyes rested upon me and we gazed into each other’s eyes.
A smile bloomed on his face. At that moment, it seemed as if time stopped. He started walking toward me. Slowly, with each step measured.
Silence fell around us. I could feel my heart ramming against my chest while I remained transfixed on him. He was now within arm’s reach, his sight taking my breath away.
“A lovely evening, Binibini. I am Juanito Alfonso. May I know what your name is? It must be as beautiful as the moonlight,” he said with a smile. He offered his hand to me.
I couldn’t bring myself to move. I couldn’t understand why I lose myself when he’s around. I stared at his outstretched arm, his soft palm opened, waiting for me to take it. I was about to give him my hand when the room suddenly erupted into a roaring applause. We turned to look at Helena who was gracefully walking down the staircase.
She was wearing a white baro't saya inlaid with intricate gold embroidery. Her long black hair was tied in a bun, her beauty made even more radiant by the sparkling jewelry that adorned her. I couldn’t help but stare at her gentle face. She looked like a princess.
Helena was smiling exuberantly, basking in the applause of the people around her. I looked at Juanito, clapping with his sparkling eyes fixed on her.
His gaze followed her until she reached the bottom of the stairs. He was no longer holding his hand out to me as he did just moments ago. It was as if he completely forgot about what we were talking about. It was as if Helena was the only thing that existed. And I was forgotten.
MARIA TOUCHED MY SHOULDER, “Aren’t you feeling well, Carmelita?” she sounded worried. We just finished eating. Some of the guests had already left. Father was still busy talking to Captain Flores and Don Mariano.
I saw Juanito and Helena talking on the balcony. They were with Ignacio and Sonya. At that time, I didn’t know why I felt as if my heart was being pricked by a thousand needles. From the time Helena went down the staircase up until this moment, Juanito never took his eyes away from her. I wasn’t able to spend any more time with him because he was always following Helena. It was clear that he was looking for the perfect time to talk to her.
“I-I want to go home. My stomach hurts,” I lied. Maria assisted me. Josefina was the one who told Mother and Father that we would be going ahead. Before I got in the kalesa, I saw Juanito and Helena, still on the balcony happily chatting and laughing without a care in the world.
Dear Diary,
I’m supposed to be happy for them, right?
But why do I feel this way?
I don’t understand what I’m feeling anymore.
I can’t fall for Juanito,
most especially now that it’s clear that he’s in love with someone else.
More confused,
Carmela