On the wings of euphoria from meeting Vlad, I don’t even remember how we get home. We barely endure the road. Surprisingly, the Saint holds my hand the whole time. I constantly register his quick glances at my face. It feels as if a man touches not with his eyes, but with the tips of his fingers. At least, my cheeks are burning the entire time.
As soon as we step into the apartment, the roof blows off instantly. For both of us. I can see it. And that tiny droplet of hope that the Saint truly has feelings stronger than passion begins to grow.
We left Milana at the establishment. The girl didn’t particularly resist or raise any objections. On the contrary, she managed to whisper in my ear that she didn't call him — Vlad found us by himself, so I should take this opportunity to the fullest. To find out how to scold her brother so he understands that jealousy is just the beginning.
Vlad is at the threshold, and I have to lock the door with my foot as he presses me against the wall and touches my cheek with his lips. Slowly, to the burning sensation between my ribs and throat. It’s languorous and gentle, making me gasp for breath.
I wrap my arms around his neck and lean into him with my whole body. It feels good to sense the strength and power of a man. Sweet to melt in his arms, knowing for sure that he is jealous. To the trembling of my legs. To the dizziness in my head. To the adrenaline that makes my heart blaze.
— Missed me? — he asks, making me arch my back.
His warm lips leave kisses on my neck, drawing a path to my collarbone.
— And you? — I exhale.
The Saint smiles. He hums contentedly.
— You’ve grown up, — he says confidently, lifting me into his arms. — I’m glad.
His hot hands squeeze my hips. The man strides into the bedroom, never taking his eyes off my face.
— Thanks to you, — I say, barely breathing.
— Not me, Yuliana, — he cuts in decisively. — You yourself.
— No, without you… Without the status of the Saint's wife, I would…
He lays me on the bed and positions himself on top. At first, he gazes deeply into my eyes with his blue ones, penetrating to the bone, but so fervently that I feel my body temperature rising. I clutch his shoulders and pull him closer. Because I missed him. I hid all my emotions, pain. I crushed negativity within me. I mixed the color black with white to transform it into gray and somehow dilute my own feelings. I tried to break the rules. I did everything to avoid thinking about the blue eyes that turned my soul upside down.
— I only pushed you towards the sun, — he says slowly, almost touching my lips with his. — Everything else — you did yourself. You wouldn’t have been able to if you hadn’t had that core I saw in you during our meeting at the restaurant.
— Core? — I ask, surprised.
This moment between us is different from all the others. We are on equal footing. Finally, we are the same. And it’s not about status. Not about money. Not whether we are married or not. I simply feel stronger. I have begun to shine. I have taken the first steps in my life, where there’s no clumsy Yuliana who fears refusal because she will suffer for it.
— You were so fiercely determined to protect your mother and brother, — he whispers, descending lower.
He slowly undresses me, and as soon as the man’s eyes see the exposed part of my body, he immediately kisses it. First warming it with gentle heat, then burning it, turning it into hellish flames.
— Because I knew that one day the Wild's actions would lead to the worst, — I respond quietly.
Vlad freezes, leaning on his elbows. He looks piercingly into my eyes. The blue darkens, transforming into a real August night, when the heavenly canvas at night is covered with billions of tiny, yet beautiful stars.
— I’m sorry that you suffered twice at his hands while I promised protection, — he says seriously. He looks directly into my soul. He shows his own emotions. Truly sincere and open. They are only for me. For me alone…
I fall silent. I don’t know what to say, because I blame him too. If only he hadn’t sent me to my father before the wedding, if only he had taken my mother earlier, instead of playing his game with stocks, everything would have been somehow different. However, there are no guarantees that it wouldn't have hurt so much… So, perhaps I don’t completely blame him. More likely, partially. But with the understanding that it had to be that way.
— Has the security really been watching me all this time?
— Twenty-four hours a day, Yuliana, — he says firmly. — I won’t let you suffer again.
— Why? — I ask hoarsely. — Tell me why?
The Saint is silent. He doesn’t look away. He doesn’t run. He doesn’t stop touching my body with tender affection. But not a word escapes his lips. Not at first…
— Passion, emotions, the desire to protect you… All of this is present, except for the agreement. Maybe you were right, — he confesses unexpectedly. — Maybe I really am jealous of my own wife for her peer.
My heart blossoms like a field of flowers in summer, the moment hot sun rays touch the ground. I smile. I drown in the Saint's blue. I drown in it with pleasure and the desire to hear these words for eternity. To listen on repeat, every day, instead of a mantra, music, and the wind.
— So, you are jealous? — I ask quietly.
— So, I am jealous, — he responds in the same tone.
The voice of the man drops, becoming low, raspy, and awakening new, previously unknown emotions within my body. I have never felt so wonderfully enveloped in his embrace. I have never burned so fiercely as I do now.
Our bodies intertwine into something incredible. If I could paint us from life, the picture would astonish the world with its openness, strength, and passion. I would mix red, black, and blue colors, add green and yellow, to make it bright and blinding…
The Saint touches not just my body in this moment. He touches the core of my soul. Tenderly, pouring out all the sweetness he possesses, while simultaneously demonstrating jealousy. He shows that he missed me too. Passionately. Tenderly. Hellishly. Painfully.
I open up in his hands. I respond to every touch, kiss, and glance. I give him the love that I feel in my heart. I unveil my soul despite all my knowledge and fears about the future. Because I can’t do otherwise. I can’t be angry or hate. I can’t help but dream about us and what comes next.
The movements, slow and precise, penetrate deeply. As soon as Vlad presses his lips to mine, places his palm on my belly or lower, I disappear.
There’s no more room for shame or awkwardness. I am naked before him in body and soul. I am filled with the man’s strength, and in return, I give my own feeling that flickers in my chest.
— Did you miss me? — he repeats the question.
Strong hands change the positions of our bodies. Now I am on top, and Vlad is on his back. I relish drawing my palms along his chest. I feel his muscles and firmness against my skin. I go mad, just looking at him. I’m crazy and thank the world that everything is as it is. It may be bad, as Milana suffered…but I am honest with myself. If I have doubts — I doubt. If I know what to do — I do it. If I’m scared — I’m scared.
And now everything is like that, yet at the same time, different. It thrills me to be the one in charge during this act of love and passion. The scents of our bodies mix — floral, forest, mysterious. It smells like a summer night. Skin. Paints. It smells like us.
— Very much, — I exhale.
Vlad sits up. He tucks my strands behind my ears and presses his forehead to mine. He places a hand on the back of my head and steadies his breath.
— What to do with you? — he asks. But I understand, not me — himself.
Now, knowing that he is indeed jealous, where he spent all this time, if I believe Milana, remembering the words about passion and guilt due to actions, I realize that it’s difficult for him too. Not just for me. The reason is unknown… Whether it’s fear, or memories of betrayal, or something entirely different, but I see clearly — Vlad has lost control over his emotions. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be here. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be security. There wouldn’t be anything, not even words…