In Vlad's apartment, I barely manage to step inside when Milana immediately jumps on me. She wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes tightly, probably wanting to strangle me. Apparently, Timur, whom I hadn’t noticed before, realizes this because I hear his voice nearby. He asks her to let go of their common daughter-in-law while she’s still alive and can breathe.
— I was worried! — she says anxiously. — Very! I waited for you for a long time, called later…
— Everything’s fine now, — I whisper.
Milana pulls away. To my surprise, I see Timur approaching me with the intention to hug. I feel shy. I look away. He is wonderful, kind, and open, but somehow I can't imagine us embracing. Probably, Good understands this, or reads it on my face, because he stops, takes my hand, and kisses my fingers.
— I'm glad you’re home.
— It’s great that you’re happy for my wife, — Saint's voice sounds from behind, — but I would like to be alone with her.
Timur smiles slightly and grabs Milana's hand. The girl is clearly about to get outraged, but looking at me, she nods to herself and says:
— I’ll come tomorrow! Alone! And you stay home!
— I have classes, — I mumble. Vlad stands next to me and pulls me close, wrapping his arms around my waist. I hope my face isn’t burning red, as judging by the heat on my cheeks, it has every chance to be.
— What classes after this? You’re on vacation! — Milana pronounces her verdict and allows her brother to take her out of the apartment.
As soon as we’re left alone, Saint scoops me up in his arms. I gasp, stunned by the display of so many emotions from this family, and hug Vlad around the neck.
— What happened to all of you? — I murmur. — With Milana it’s clear, we became friends…
— Which I’m very happy about, — the man suddenly confesses.
— Timur has always been kinder, — I continue the thought.
— He has both dark and light sides, so be glad you saw the light one, — Vlad says.
— But you… — I finish. — Can it be, — I’m scared to ask, having done so many times, and again and again facing refusals, receiving new wounds that turned into scars in return. — Can it be that you…
— I told you then that I decided not to leave you alone. I let you down three times. The security didn’t cope, just like the program on the phone. And I don’t want to see you kissing others. I don’t want to be jealous and angry about it, because I said nothing would come of it. Honestly, I was afraid, my brave girl, that my decision regarding Dyk would provoke negativity in you. Your mother admitted long ago that he is not really your father, but… I was afraid, — he adds, leaving a gentle kiss on my lips, — that you would leave, not me. Forever. I’m not a saint to patiently watch this…
I can’t utter a word. I bite my lip and, to my surprise, notice we’re in the bathroom. Vlad sets me down and begins to slowly undress me. There’s nothing erotic in these movements, only tenderness and care, which he always knows how to express perfectly. And I… I allow it, because I’ve been waiting for him to allow himself to let me into his heart.
Gradually, our clothes disappear and we stand together under the stream of hot water. Vlad lathers us both with fragrant shower gel and washes away all the pain and fear my stepfather had made me go through. With slow and pleasant touches, he erases the memories and feelings of disgust from the last day.
I lean back against his strong chest, throw my head on his shoulder, and sigh softly. There’s no shame or anything like that, just sincerity, complete openness, and trust.
Saint rinses the foam off and kisses the curve of my neck. He whispers the necessary words, but I don’t hear or understand any of them.
The entire bathroom is steamy. We step out of the shower together and wrap ourselves in towels. Vlad takes my hand and leads me to his bedroom. There, he gives me a women’s, new pajamas in a juicy blue color and turns away to get dressed himself. I quickly throw on a silk wrap and pants, which pleasantly cool against my skin.
— Where did you get this? — I ask, looking at the man’s back. It’s nice to admire his toned muscles and know that I have every right to touch them.
Saint, as an aesthetic pleasure, still quite closed off and incomprehensible, but at the same time, sweetly open and strong… for me.
— I bought it in the summer.
— For whom?
He turns around, leaving the sweatpants hanging on his hips.
— For you, — he answers seriously.
— Why?
— So you wouldn’t walk around naked and tease me, — he smiles and approaches me closer.
— Seems like you said to do just that…
— I thought I could live here without doing so.
— Couldn't?
— You had to kick me out, — he smirks.
He tucks my wet hair behind my ears and looks into my eyes. He peers so deeply that my soul somehow turns inside out from the intense anticipation. It lingers beautifully in my blood as it flows toward my heart.
— Because you were confused…
— I was afraid.
— I didn’t know you were afraid of something.
— There were two people in my life I was afraid of. Now there are more. Now there’s you and your loved ones, Yuliana, — he says seriously.
I can’t believe I’m hearing these words. Yes, Vlad has always been quite frank, clearly and firmly saying when something was not meant to be known. But hearing these words is a million times more pleasant than hearing about revenge and exploitation.
— Is there really going to be no more “And yet…”? — I ask with fear.
— There won’t be, — he says in a hoarse, low voice.
— Do you promise?
— I promise.
He takes my fingers and gestures for me to sit on the bed. I obediently do so because I want to, and am surprised to see that Saint sits behind me. In a moment I realize the man is brushing my hair. With smooth, gentle movements, he leads from the crown down, simultaneously warming the back of my neck with his hot breath.
— What are you doing? — I whisper.
— What every man should do — showing love and respect for his wife.
Perhaps if my heart had a voice, it would start singing across the entire planet right now. If I were really a star, I would shine brighter than the sun. I could illuminate more than one galaxy and gift life-giving warmth to more than one planet in the cosmic expanse. If I could scream to the entire universe that he confessed to me, I would lose my voice.
Epilogue
Today is a sunny and bright day, although according to the calendar, it’s almost winter. The dry yet frosty weather prompts a walk. Which, in principle, is what we are all doing together. I walk with my mother and Milana ahead, while our men walk behind. Not only Vlad but also Good, — who switched to a different surname, wanting to have it like his brother and sister,— as well as my little brother and Milana’s newly established boyfriend, Martin. She was afraid that her brothers would not accept him, but Vlad’s artistic soul appreciated the model.
Plenty of time has passed since the last events. Dyk was imprisoned, and my mother told me the truth about her life with my stepfather. However, my husband and I deliberately kept my abduction secret. I didn’t want to upset her. My mother spent her whole life under oppression, in worries and fears, so we limited ourselves to the full celebration of freedom. The divorce went smoothly thanks to Saint’s connections. My brother stayed with my mother, and the shares, the house, and everything, even Dyk’s hidden assets, became my mother’s. Vlad worked too hard, so the tyrant who had always been called father was left with literally nothing. The remainder of the shares from “AMB” my mother passed on to me, but I’m not getting involved with the company. Timur and Vlad take care of that. Instead, I am studying and painting. I’m finishing the paintings I started while I was engaged to Saint and creating new ones as his wife.
— I think we need to have a wedding in the summer, — Milana declares, stopping by the huge Ferris wheel.
— A wedding? — I ask again.
— In an even better dress, — my mother picks up the idea and looks at Milana as if they both know something I don’t. — That one was perfect, as I said, showcasing a beautiful future. But we want more than beauty; we need happiness!
— Should we ride? — My little brother races up to us.
I take his hand and look joyfully into such familiar eyes. He and my mother returned home when Dyk was imprisoned, although Vlad was generally opposed because the stepfather appealed the case, but until today I had only seen them in snippets. However, this weekend, I made everyone participate in the walk. After all, I promised my brother that we would all stroll together and visit the amusement park, and it doesn’t matter that some of the rides no longer work.
— We’ll go separately, — Martin stops by us smiling while the brothers went to buy tickets. He takes Milana by the hand and looks at her with a loving gaze.
— Wedding? — I remind. — Whose?
Martin looks at us in surprise. I start to think their pair is ready for such a step.
— Yours, — Milana happily responds. — And Vlad’s.
— There was a wedding, — I mutter.
— With Timur, — he replies. — That doesn’t count. Especially since I wasn’t there!
— And I want a wedding, — my little brother pipes up.
— So do I, — my mother smiles.
It’s nice to look at her too. During the time they lived separately, her and my brother’s eyes became clearer, and joy and harmony are seen more frequently on her face.
— Tickets are here, — Good approaches us. — Who goes in the booth with whom?
— We’ll go separately, — Martin states.
— I didn’t doubt that.
— Wedding! My sister will be the bride! Want to see her in a dress? — my brother joyfully asks Good.
At first, the man looks at me in surprise, and then at the rest. His gray-blue eyes are full of warmth and comfort. Pale skin, as always, emphasizes his beauty. Someone will be lucky with him, as I don’t believe Milana and Vlad’s words that he can be bad and dark, walk over others… How can he, if there’s something warm burning in his eyes?
— I’ve already seen Yuliana in a dress, — he somewhat dazedly says.
— In which dress? — Vlad approaches us and gently, smoothly takes my hand in his.
— Timur says your wife is going to be the bride, — Good smirks.
Saint looks directly at me. There’s no surprise or anything similar in his blue eyes; on the contrary, there’s confidence and complete understanding of what we’re discussing.
— Of course, she will be. The most beautiful one, don’t doubt it, — he replies to my brother.
— Yours? — he eagerly asks.
— Only mine, if she wants to.
— She wants! — Milana cannot help but say. — Otherwise, we’ll find a whole lot of models…
Martin snatches the tickets and pulls her towards the wheel.
— No models, — I hear him roar.
I laugh, watching the backs of the lovers. It’s wonderful that they found each other. Both are interesting personalities. Both are passionate and fiery. Explosive. They are connected not just by dance and grace in their movements but by something more. It’s visible in the glances they throw at one another while thinking no one is watching them.
— Our sister always blackmails everyone, — Timur grumbles.
— Knows you’ll fall for it, — my mother cheerfully declares, taking Good by the arm and squeezing my brother’s hand with the other, pulling both of them towards the wheel.
Vlad laughs with a deep, rumbling laugh and pulls me into his embrace.
— My sister spoiled the surprise.
I turn to the man and look into his eyes.
— Surprise?
— Between us, the agreement is fulfilled, Yuliana. Completely. Dyk is in prison; the appeal is now my problem. Your freedom is yours, little girl, as I promised. Therefore, I need to know if you wish to continue being my wife? Or do you wish to love me and endure my character?
I can’t believe he’s asking this so shyly. Always so confident, strong, and influential, Vlad now seems bashful. His blue eyes are deeper than a starry night. They hide the fear of rejection, fear of himself, of the future.
— I confused you so much, Yuliana, — he adds. — I hurt you so many times, made promises I didn’t keep. You suffered because of my carelessness; you said you loved me and gave all of yourself, going all in while I was afraid. Sometimes I think it was a mistake to call you the Timid Fawn. You’re not like that at all. Despite your own fears, you still boldly declared your feelings while I ran to my mother’s apartment and couldn’t admit to myself that you were important. Needed.
I gently and tenderly smile. I hug Saint around the neck and snuggle against his chest. I take a deep breath of the scent of paint and luxury. My favorite aroma. I enjoy the forest and danger. And now, with the incredible aftertaste of tenderness on my lips, I’ve managed to go further into the depths of his soul.
I am filled with strength. It bubbles in my chest so powerfully. It races in my blood. It holds my core, which would fall if it weren’t for this man.
Yes, he is right. I’ve been open. I’ve openly declared that I want more than just a fiction. I’ve endured the blows of life and its sharp knives. I tolerated the cold, the pain, and gathered and gathered the shards of my own dreams, afraid to do even that. I received the freedom I craved, but for that, I had to go through a difficult and thorny path.
Yet none of this changes my feelings, no matter how strange it may seem to someone. I love Vlad Saint. I love him despite everything. And I know that even if he fears that something might go wrong, that he will restrict me out of jealousy, that he will become someone else instead of himself, I am sure that such a thing will not happen.
— You may not be a saint, — I murmur into the collar of the man’s coat, — but you are definitely not bad. Once I took a risk and said “And yet…” I agreed to your scheme without knowing where it would lead. And then I began to shine because I found my sun. You supported me where I needed it, even if you thought it was worthless. But believe me, all these little things made me fall in love with you. So don’t expect that I will go off into my freedom without you, for to me, you are freedom itself, do you understand?
The strong hands of the man embrace and press me close. I enjoy this because we are together, even if we have traveled a very difficult path. Together, not separately. Because each of us learned something. Each found answers to questions we were afraid to voice to ourselves.
Timur spoke the truth; there’s no need to remain silent. We must speak. Fight for ourselves. The world will give you nothing if you sit behind seven locks of your own soul and are afraid to confront not only fate but also your own fears. Building marshmallow dreams with castles like princesses is wonderful. But so much better when those castles become reality. Your life.
It takes more than just the desire to be free; after all, freedom is not loneliness. Freedom is when you can be yourself in a family circle. Truly. And shine. Shine so brightly that you overshadow the sun.